Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Not to pay childminders travel expenses

310 replies

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:22

Last summer, Childminder asked for an extra £10 per week to help pay for activities while she has DS.

In December, she demanded a 27% payrise.

Today she has demanded a 45p per mile travel expense.

AIBU to tell her a flat No?

OP posts:
Cameleongirl · 04/03/2022 19:05

How often does she provide this weekend respite care? Is it once a month or more?

Alandinasane · 04/03/2022 19:06

You've got a bargain there Op!

Tillow4ever · 04/03/2022 19:08

Plenty of people have commented advising on the money side, so I won't pile on too - you've heard it!

Have you checked that she has the appropriate car insurance if she's driving your child in it? Presumably she needs business insurance for this? What about any insurance or licenses she needs for having your child in her home? It might not seem a problem for occasional weekends, but what happens if there's a car accident? Or if something happens in her home? God forbid, if there's a serious accident leaving your child with permanent injuries that could change their life, you want to know there's insurance in place to pay for anything they might need as a result!

BoredZelda · 04/03/2022 19:10

Oh the staff are just so demanding nowadays.

Maybe you can find a refugee to be an au-pair for you, they’ll surely be grateful just to have a roof over their head.

florianfortescue · 04/03/2022 19:19

She's within her rights to ask (or "demand" as you keep putting it). You're within your rights to say no.

Personally for the sake of £18 a time (assuming you pay 45p per mile for 80 miles of travel) I'd suck it up. She obviously has a good relationship with your kid and you won't be able to replace her easily. In the context of the £300+ per weekend it's not a huge amount.

Original poster
AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 19:28

You’re right, it isn’t a huge amount, but the cost of living is going to continue to go up and it’s only a matter of time before she says that she has to be paid £20 an hour and I guess that I’m just annoyed that I have to adjust my household budget so that she doesn’t have to.

OP posts:
Cameleongirl · 04/03/2022 19:31

I have no idea whether it’s a bargain for weekend respite care or not-the OP needs to do some research on this. I personally wouldn’t begrudge paying travel costs.

Different scenario as it’s for young adults not a child, but @yumscrumfatbum said this was typical for her area:

The flat rate for overnight respite in your own home is £60 for a 24 hour period. Expenses such as outings are billed for additionally. The £60 includes food and all utilities. Parents are expected to drop off and collect to and from the carers home. Petrol is billed if it is a journey taken specifically for the individual rather myself or my family

The OP pays about 2.5x that.

blublub · 04/03/2022 19:38

Are you crazy? ‘Adjust your household budget so she doesn’t have to’?! I have heard some cheeky things in my time, but I am astounded. She has to request more because clearly she is just scrapping by on this amount and things are going up for her too as well as you, so to keep in the same underpaid place she needs more money. She isn’t getting more she’s staying the same by the sounds of it.

You are employing someone below minimum wage who will drive a ridiculous way there and back for you. As others have said, why don’t you try an agency for a price comparison and see what a great deal you’re getting. Oh and stop exploiting someone!! You really are taking advantage of this poor woman. It’s a proper job you’re expecting , with the amazing perk of being driven there and back. You should be counting your lucky stars and valuing her accordingly. She isn’t baby sitting but giving up her weekends.

Nanny0gg · 04/03/2022 19:39

@Aimzxo

I think it depends on the child minder, my child minder doesn't charge for petrol, she doesn't even charge for activities any activities she takes the children on she pays for out of her own pocket, I'd be happy to pay her I even offered to but she wouldn't accept, I pay 2 pound for a hot dinner or I can send a pack lunch, I guess each child minder has their own rules, I'd be abit irked but I suppose the only option you have is to use a different child minder, mine also hasn't raised her fees in 2 years, unless mine is a rare lovely breed lol xz
But she's not a childminder.

She's a nanny in her own home

AmyDudley · 04/03/2022 19:43

*Oh the staff are just so demanding nowadays.

Maybe you can find a refugee to be an au-pair for you, they’ll surely be grateful just to have a roof over their head.*

That's a pretty shitty remark to make. Did you miss the bit where Op says she has a child with SEN and she pays for respite care so she can have a break? Do you know what her child's care needs are, or how much she needs a break sometimes so she can care for her child without being exhausted. You write as if she is some kind of spoilt lady of the manor. You do understand that everyone you pay for any kind of service, be it a plumber, a hairdresser, a shopworker is essentially 'staff' of a variety in that you are buying a service from them? It doesn'tt mean you think you are royalty. It is how the world works we all buy and provide services. Whatever your opinion on the Cm's price rise, your attitude towards the OP stinks and I think you owe her an apology.

Bunnycat101 · 04/03/2022 19:47

yumscrumfatbum The flat rate for 24 hours respite seems incredibly low at £60 unless it’s subsidised. My nursery is now £80 for a 10 hour period.

cansu · 04/03/2022 19:56

I think that you may need to think about how much the arrangement is worth it to you. If she is employed then you set the pay and she either accepts the job or not. The travel is I think reasonable as you can't take him yourself although the 45p a mile is high. I think the problem is that this started out as one thing and developed into something more formal. That said decent respite care is very rare so I would look at what I could afford and then be upfront about this. Can you get any direct payments to put towards it?

Absc · 04/03/2022 19:58

I would say if your son had additional needs then that rate you pay is on the lower side for a weekend. Local authorities pay more under direct payments for that type of care. Maybe it’s worth exploring if your entitled to any help from your local disabled childrens team.

Bunnycat101 · 04/03/2022 19:59

OP in all honesty I think you were massively underpaying previously. £310 sounds broadly right assuming something close to £10 an hour plus a night rate of £40 from say 10pm until 7. Given the journey I think mileage is reasonable. Realistically you’d struggle to get similar levels of care for anything less and I suspect if you went to an agency you’d be paying a good deal more.

GlitterNails · 04/03/2022 19:59

I agree with @Merriwicks that overnight care doesn't get paid an hourly rate if the person is sleeping.

I have a direct budget from the council and sleeping nights vs awake nights are paid differently. When you sleep and are just there for the occasional time to wake up i.e. for the toilet, but the majority of the time is spent sleeping it's usually a flat rate. If you have to stay awake to care then it's hourly rate.

So all those saying the OP isn't paying mimimum wage aren't right.

This issue went to court and that was what was agreed. See: www.theguardian.com/society/2021/mar/19/sleep-in-care-workers-not-entitled-minimum-wage-supreme-court I don't think anything has changed since then legally.

OP - have you looked at direct payments for your son? If he qualifies you might get help towards paying for the respite care or have a PA during the day. You could likely continue employing the same person - you'd just get financial help to do so.

You are welcome to PM me for more info on this if you are interested.

yumscrumfatbum · 04/03/2022 19:59

Bunnycat101 as a Shared Lives Carer you do get certain tax breaks. Most Carers already have long term placements and use respite to top up their income. If you have a regular respite placement its often a week or so at a time so that does add up.

Thehop · 04/03/2022 20:01

I’m a registered childminder and charge £30 a day for holiday club. I pay for all food, drink, travel and days out! (We only do one big ticket trip per week, use national trust and English heritage membership the rest and take picnics.)

betwixtlives · 04/03/2022 20:03

you just aren’t getting how much of a cheeky fucker you’re being OP. unbelievable

alltheapples · 04/03/2022 20:04

That £60 for respite sounds like it is being done by volunteers and the monéy is for costs. Social Services do have volunteers for respité.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/03/2022 20:05

The 27% rise is misleading as you were majorly under paying her before then
still are IMO

Nannies who do overnights often will charge from say 10 -6 an overnight fee of ag least £50. Many much more

Plus then all the other hours

She does 2 over nights plus all day Saturday, and fri after school plus sun am

45p is the set mileage rate. It’s been that for years. Tbh should go up to least 50p the way petrol costs have gone up

If anyone on this thread had to use their car for work, you would expect work to pay the going rate

Flossieskeeper · 04/03/2022 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kazzyhoward · 04/03/2022 20:07

@Thehop

I’m a registered childminder and charge £30 a day for holiday club. I pay for all food, drink, travel and days out! (We only do one big ticket trip per week, use national trust and English heritage membership the rest and take picnics.)
How many kids do you look after though? The OP's respite carer is only looking after one child, so only one lot of income. If you're looking after, say, 5 children, then the comparison is you charging £150 for just, say, an 8 hour day, whereas in OP's case it's two half days, two nights and a full day. So completely different really.
busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 20:08

@Cameleongirl

I have no idea whether it’s a bargain for weekend respite care or not-the OP needs to do some research on this. I personally wouldn’t begrudge paying travel costs.

Different scenario as it’s for young adults not a child, but @yumscrumfatbum said this was typical for her area:

The flat rate for overnight respite in your own home is £60 for a 24 hour period. Expenses such as outings are billed for additionally. The £60 includes food and all utilities. Parents are expected to drop off and collect to and from the carers home. Petrol is billed if it is a journey taken specifically for the individual rather myself or my family

The OP pays about 2.5x that.

Adult social care through the council is very different than nannying.

Just like you can't really compare a foster carer with a nanny.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 04/03/2022 20:10

45p a mile is the HMRC standard rate for the first 10K miles

busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 20:10

@GlitterNails

I agree with *@Merriwicks* that overnight care doesn't get paid an hourly rate if the person is sleeping.

I have a direct budget from the council and sleeping nights vs awake nights are paid differently. When you sleep and are just there for the occasional time to wake up i.e. for the toilet, but the majority of the time is spent sleeping it's usually a flat rate. If you have to stay awake to care then it's hourly rate.

So all those saying the OP isn't paying mimimum wage aren't right.

This issue went to court and that was what was agreed. See: www.theguardian.com/society/2021/mar/19/sleep-in-care-workers-not-entitled-minimum-wage-supreme-court I don't think anything has changed since then legally.

OP - have you looked at direct payments for your son? If he qualifies you might get help towards paying for the respite care or have a PA during the day. You could likely continue employing the same person - you'd just get financial help to do so.

You are welcome to PM me for more info on this if you are interested.

Again though, being a sleep-in carer for adults is pretty different to being solely responsible for a young child for 48 hours at a time. That's a very long shift.