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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Not to pay childminders travel expenses

310 replies

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:22

Last summer, Childminder asked for an extra £10 per week to help pay for activities while she has DS.

In December, she demanded a 27% payrise.

Today she has demanded a 45p per mile travel expense.

AIBU to tell her a flat No?

OP posts:
pinkpantherpink · 05/03/2022 17:51

I've always assumed Nanny's are given a car to drive e as part of their employment arrangements

Robotdott · 05/03/2022 17:54

Yikes this sounds an absolute mess. For her sake and yours I'd sort out a robust contract and check obligations and expectations. If she is an employee are you following all of your legal obligations? I wouldn't employ someone in this manner in a million years, let alone without understanding how it works as you seem to.

Suepicano7176 · 05/03/2022 18:01

she's either worth it or not. Is the cost about usual for the care she is giving? If you think she's being unreasonable then get someone else!

Heiderose · 05/03/2022 18:20

@AChocolateOrangeaday

£310 a weekend! You are getting a bargain.

We pay £14 per hour for SEN care so 48 hours is £672!

You are currently paying her £6:45 which isn't even NMW is it?

I'll take her OP

I'm a Nanny, I charge this for 48hrs sole charge overnight in the family's home.

I can not take them to mine as there is a limit of how many hours a day a Nanny can have a child in there own house before having to register as a childminder. It also invalidates my insurance so I wouldn't be covered for any accidents the child may have.

This seems like a complete mess unless she's actually registered & insured to care for children in her own home. As a Nanny she should be working in your home not her own.

Hmm1234 · 05/03/2022 18:21

Depends if she asked for travel expenses to be covered in her advertisement.
She is not unreasonable to ask for a pay rise as the cost of living is going up but it’s up to you if you think she works hard enough with the children to get the increase

Mandyjack · 05/03/2022 18:22

27% payrise is way above inflation! Or was she underpaid before?.
If you are requesting her to use her car to ferry your kids she's entitled to mileage and travel time to be paid

sunshinesupermum · 05/03/2022 18:27

As you're not a driver OP you probably don't appreciate just how much petrol costs have gone up recently.

And yes, the cost of living is going up exponentially so I would expect your 'nanny' to request further increases. It is up to you whether you can afford them both financially and emotionally on behalf of your DS.

law050465 · 05/03/2022 18:28

I’m a Nanny and I recently charged £200 per 24 hours for a job. I don’t think that is excessive. I pay 20% tax on that. As for mileage, if you are employing her as respite and expecting her to be a taxi, then of course you should be paying mileage. Otherwise you should be taking your child there yourself

Silvers11 · 05/03/2022 18:31

@ AdviceNeeded367

So, if I read it correctly she is neither a childminder nor a Nanny but is providing respite care for your DS In her own home. Is that correct?

By implication, for whatever reason,Social Services have decided that you/your son does not qualify for any assistance from themselves, hence the reason you are paying yourself for someone to do it. Is that also correct? have you had a carer's assessment and a needs assessment done for your son?

I take it you have claimed all the benefits you are entitled to as a carer of a child with special needs. They are not all means tested?

As I understand it, you will be classed as an employer for the respite carer - but your best bet would be to phone Social Services and ask them about pay rates etc in your area. Whether or not you have contacted them before, they should be able to advise you on what is or what is reasonable in terms of rates, travelling costs and your obligations as an employer

Hope that helps

DixonD · 05/03/2022 18:32

@AdviceNeeded367

The payrise in December was based on rising cost of living, her rent had gone up substantially etc.

Today’s request is in response to rising petrol costs.

My local forecourt has gone up by 7p in 5 days. I don’t blame her!
Gizacluethen · 05/03/2022 18:33

Honestly I think it sounds like a bargain and you would have been hugely underpaying her previously. She can't afford to do it for less.
And you should be paying for his cost for outings. It shouldn't come out of her pocket and you don't want him just sat in her house the whole time do you?

Cameleongirl · 05/03/2022 19:06

I agree, @Heiderose, the caregiver is sone sort of hybrid between a child minder and a nanny!

Tigger1895 · 05/03/2022 19:55

She’s taking your child to her house so she can do housekeeping and cooking to save her time when she gets home in the evening

busyeatingbiscuits · 05/03/2022 19:58

@Tigger1895

She’s taking your child to her house so she can do housekeeping and cooking to save her time when she gets home in the evening
If this child's needs are such that the parents need 48 hours respite, then I think you can assume they won't just sit quietly while the nanny does housework? It's probably pretty full on including overnight.
ewright86 · 05/03/2022 20:11

I don’t get paid by my employer to drive to work…

law050465 · 05/03/2022 20:28

But the child carer is driving 20 miles to pick child up and take her to her own house, essentially acting as a taxi

Kazzyhoward · 05/03/2022 20:28

@ewright86

I don’t get paid by my employer to drive to work…
Lots of people working from home DO get mileage to go to a "temporary" place of work, such as a client's address, a different office, a training course, etc.

The OP's childminder works from home, i.e. spends most of the childminding time at her home. So travelling to pick up and drop off the child is entirely reasonable to claim for. If the OP doesn't like it, they can make their own arrangements to take their child to the childminder and collect it afterwards.

Wykid · 05/03/2022 20:29

@ewright86

I don’t get paid by my employer to drive to work…
I’m sure you get paid more than minimum wage though
runsmidgeOMG · 05/03/2022 20:46

Just to echo the amount of PP stating you're getting an excellent deal OP

Agency worker here... I do nights with SEN children on an Adhoc basis. So usually 9-7 thereabouts. A weekend night shift (one Friday or Saturday) will get me about £350 at 25% tax as it's a second job.

I get that there's been a quick turnaround in asking for another rise as you put it but I recon this is circumstantial owing to recent cost of living rises and it's likely her rate will increase again in the near future. I would go with it as she appears to have under sold herself for a long time and she has a good relationship with your son.
If you don't you could end up paying waaaaaaay more for loads less.

nicegirl73 · 05/03/2022 20:58

As someone who’s had nannies when my kids were younger, a good one is worth their weight in gold and are hard to replace. I would pay her expenses

Tessabelle74 · 05/03/2022 21:21

Deoends what she's wants, her travel to and from work, no. Any travel whilst with your kids then yes, you should pay her

AskingforaBaskin · 05/03/2022 22:13

@Tessabelle74

Deoends what she's wants, her travel to and from work, no. Any travel whilst with your kids then yes, you should pay her
She is already at her place of work. The Op is asking her to come and collect her child and return to her home. The OP has the option of taking the child there herself.
Ownedbyafrenchie · 05/03/2022 22:37

YABU if the childminder takes your son out in her own car and I would definitely agree to pay her 45p per mile, it's a fair amount. She should definitely not be using her own money to take care of your child and it would be unreasonable to expect her to fund any activities herself.

Mangotea · 05/03/2022 23:50

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bultaoreune · 05/03/2022 23:56

She is looking after your child for you and you are paying her less than minimum wage! I would be paying alteast the minimum wage and more on top of that so that she looks after him even better. You never mess with good child care and try to keep them happy. Even more so when you yourself need a break from your own child. Although I can see why you would be annoyed by her for telling you about the increase considering you are the employer and she should be requesting it, if she was self-employed then should could just inform you about the increase. Just the semantics.

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