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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to pay childminders travel expenses

310 replies

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:22

Last summer, Childminder asked for an extra £10 per week to help pay for activities while she has DS.

In December, she demanded a 27% payrise.

Today she has demanded a 45p per mile travel expense.

AIBU to tell her a flat No?

OP posts:

nearlyspringyay · 04/03/2022 16:36

So she's a nanny? Why does she take him to her house and not look after in yours? I'm guessing you are on some kind of shift pattern, sweeping generalisation but most nannies are relatively young and wont want to work al weekend every weekend.

bluebeau · 04/03/2022 16:39

@AdviceNeeded367

She lives about 20 miles away and takes DS to her house. It’s regular but not frequent.

She is employed by me on the basis like as a Nanny.

I'm sorry but i read this as she lives 20 miles away and collects your son to her house ?

If thats the case then yes pay her , if not then no.

Original poster

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:39

I think the problem is that the role evolved for being more like a babysitter to then having him overnight at her house and now we have an arrangement where it’s the whole weekend.

Up until now, her hourly rate has included everything, which is one of the reasons why she wanted/needed the payrise.

Which is why I don’t want to also pay her petrol/travel on top now, because it was only a couple of months ago that she had a significant raise.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 04/03/2022 16:40

Can you drive him there and back yourself then if you don’t want to pay?

Lweji · 04/03/2022 16:41

Is the full pay for weekends only, or does she care for your DS during the week?
How demanding is your child?

It's hard to gauge if she's being greedy over the pay increase or if she felt she was being taken advantage of.

Original poster

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:42

No, unfortunately I can’t take him/collect him as I don’t drive.

OP posts:

Original poster

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:43

She collects him on Friday evening and brings him home lunch time on Sunday.

OP posts:

busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 16:43

@AdviceNeeded367

I think the problem is that the role evolved for being more like a babysitter to then having him overnight at her house and now we have an arrangement where it’s the whole weekend.

Up until now, her hourly rate has included everything, which is one of the reasons why she wanted/needed the payrise.

Which is why I don’t want to also pay her petrol/travel on top now, because it was only a couple of months ago that she had a significant raise.

Are you paying her at least minimum wage for all the hours she is working? Paying her pension? Deducting her tax and ni properly?

How old is your DS?

TwoBlueFish · 04/03/2022 16:43

So you pay her to have him at her house for the whole weekend? If that’s the case and she doesn’t have the option to care for him at your house then you should absolutely be paying her mileage or you should be dropping and collecting from her house.

My son (also SEN) has a PA who he goes out with. We pay travel from our house to the activity and back to our house. We also pay for any activity fee. Pay is all done through a payroll company.

AskingforaBaskin · 04/03/2022 16:43

So based on 48 hours you are paying her roughly £6.50 per hour?

How many hours is she having him?

AskingforaBaskin · 04/03/2022 16:44

@AdviceNeeded367

She collects him on Friday evening and brings him home lunch time on Sunday.

And you're only paying £310?!

MattHancocksPrivateNurse · 04/03/2022 16:45

From what you’ve said I thunk you should pay it? That’s a massive thing she is doing every weekend and she should be well compensated imo.

Sirzy · 04/03/2022 16:45

Does that even work out as minimum wage then?

busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 16:46

@AdviceNeeded367

She collects him on Friday evening and brings him home lunch time on Sunday.

So you're paying well under minimum wage, and don't even want to way for activities and mileage???

partyatboris16 · 04/03/2022 16:46

Why don't you drop off and collect from her house so you won't have to pay any petrol costs?

Stompythedinosaur · 04/03/2022 16:48

Of course you would be unreasonable. She is informing you of the cost of her services. Do can choose whether to use her or not.

Would you "just say no" in a supermarket if you didn't agree woth their pricing?

VanillaSpiceCandle · 04/03/2022 16:48

Because you’ve said you have no other issues with her, I’d say pay it. I don’t think you’ll find anyone else willing to look after a child with SEN all weekend and overnight for that price. If your child likes her and you like her, pay it.

Original poster

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:49

The rate is workers out as so much per hour and then a nominal fee for the overnight, which is what she suggested when she suggested having DS overnight.

For the most part, they have an Aunty/nephew relationship, which is fantastic but the repeated requests for pay rises is frustrating.

I have agreed to pay her as an employee as she doesn’t want the faff of being self employed.

OP posts:

Arabellla · 04/03/2022 16:50

Your OP should have said that the petrol was to take your DS to her house for the weekend as an agreed arrangement.

AskingforaBaskin · 04/03/2022 16:51

@AdviceNeeded367

The rate is workers out as so much per hour and then a nominal fee for the overnight, which is what she suggested when she suggested having DS overnight.

For the most part, they have an Aunty/nephew relationship, which is fantastic but the repeated requests for pay rises is frustrating.

I have agreed to pay her as an employee as she doesn’t want the faff of being self employed.

No no. What you are paying her is appalling. She is asking for a pay rise because she has rightfully worked out that her time is more valuable.

You wait her pay her her worth or you will parent your child every weekend. Because I guarantee you will not get anyone else for close to that money.

Halllyup17 · 04/03/2022 16:51

That's not even minimum wage! No wonder she's asking for more. You need to employ her legally, or you'll end up in trouble.

Simonjt · 04/03/2022 16:52

@AdviceNeeded367

The rate is workers out as so much per hour and then a nominal fee for the overnight, which is what she suggested when she suggested having DS overnight.

For the most part, they have an Aunty/nephew relationship, which is fantastic but the repeated requests for pay rises is frustrating.

I have agreed to pay her as an employee as she doesn’t want the faff of being self employed.

Why are you paying your employee less than the minimum wage? How much NI are you paying?

AskingforaBaskin · 04/03/2022 16:52

And pension, and holiday pay.

She does get pid holiday right?

betwixtlives · 04/03/2022 16:54

Sounds like she’s got a shit deal here, I’m not surprised she’s trying to make up the shortfall created by you

Sally872 · 04/03/2022 16:55

Difficulty is can you get the same service for the price you want to pay? If not you are risking losing the place. I don't know any childminders that drive 20 miles to collect so it is an awkward one. Unfortunately you may need to accept it.

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