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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to pay childminders travel expenses

310 replies

AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:22

Last summer, Childminder asked for an extra £10 per week to help pay for activities while she has DS.

In December, she demanded a 27% payrise.

Today she has demanded a 45p per mile travel expense.

AIBU to tell her a flat No?

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/03/2022 16:24

Childminder (self employed, looks after more than one child) or Nanny(your employee)
Childminder... I'd expect a flat rate set by them
Nanny... their pay is theres, you pay for child's expenses like food, activities and travel (including their entrance fees)

Watchingpeppa12 · 04/03/2022 16:24

Well, it depends what you are actually paying her ? Do you specifically ask her to take your child to these places?

Original poster
AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:25

The payrise in December was based on rising cost of living, her rent had gone up substantially etc.

Today’s request is in response to rising petrol costs.

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 04/03/2022 16:25

You may lose your childcare if you do.

Overthebow · 04/03/2022 16:26

Did you ask her to go to activities or is it her idea? I wouldn’t expect to pay for mileage if you haven’t requested it.

Original poster
AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:26

She lives about 20 miles away and takes DS to her house. It’s regular but not frequent.

She is employed by me on the basis like as a Nanny.

OP posts:
Overthebow · 04/03/2022 16:27

Also how many children does she look after? Surely she can’t get travel expenses from every child!

Sparticuscaticus · 04/03/2022 16:27

Does she have only your one child in her care OP? Or her own children and other DCs? 45p mile

I doubt travel expenses are in her contract with you. 27% pay rise is extortionate - nhs and social care get about 2% a year if we are lucky

Her expenses on taking DD out should be covered by the fees you pay her and are claimable expenses as is travel etc in her self employed business

Not sure why she is hiking up her prices but you don't have to agree to changes to original contract and sounds like you should look elsewhere for childcare . I doubt anyone could afford their childcare costs to jump up over 1/4 nor to have extra unlimited fees tagged on. She can give notice or you can give notice. Start asking around...

Helenluvsrob · 04/03/2022 16:27

How does that all compare as a weekly rate ( or rate for thr care and running about for your kid that you need ) with other CM locally ? I wouldn’t get bogged down it what she calls each bit of cash.

Is she good ? Good child care is worth every penny if you can afford it.

If it’s not competitive / you can’t afford ABD can face thrr Ed upheaval if moving , do so. If he’s at school in sept and you need wraparound / after school suck it up as duck places are difficult to find

Overthebow · 04/03/2022 16:28

@AdviceNeeded367

She lives about 20 miles away and takes DS to her house. It’s regular but not frequent.

She is employed by me on the basis like as a Nanny.

So DS is her only child? Can you request that she keeps him at your house instead if going to fees? Then if she wants to travel to hers it’s her own money.
busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 16:29

If she's a nanny and your employee, then you need to pay her travel expenses while she is working or provide her with a car.

FluffyBooBoo · 04/03/2022 16:30

If she is employed, then paying her the HMRC recommended mileage allowance is a very reasonable request. That's to pay for the wear and tear and fuel etc for her car, which she is using as a courtesy for the sake of her employment.

Original poster
AdviceNeeded367 · 04/03/2022 16:30

DS has SEN and she has him for the weekend at her house. The rates went from £230 to £310 per weekend with the price increase.

She and DS get on very well. If the price issue wasn’t an issue, I’d have no issue with her!

OP posts:
busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 16:30

She also can't take your DS to her house, if she's employed as a nanny she needs to work at your house.

Helenluvsrob · 04/03/2022 16:30

Based at your house ?
Sorry this not is a CM. This is a nanny. I hope you are employing directly and paying her no / tax etc.

If you are letting her be “ self employed “ you are open to challenge from Hmrc

Sparticuscaticus · 04/03/2022 16:31

@AdviceNeeded367

She lives about 20 miles away and takes DS to her house. It’s regular but not frequent.

She is employed by me on the basis like as a Nanny.

Oh she's a nanny. Not a childminder (where you take child to her house and she has other DCs and or her own), That's entirely different

You employ a nanny at the rate you set, would be expected to cover activity fees, essential petrol costs and you may have to find another nanny if you want one of you can no longer afford what she wants to be paid.

As a nanny she should be caring for your child at your house or taking child to activities etc - she needs to be registered with as a registered childcare provider if she cares for any children for financial reward in her own home. It is unlawful to do so without that.

Chickychoccyegg · 04/03/2022 16:31

Childminder: she sets her fee, as she's self employed, and looks after multiple children from more than 1 household, in her own home.
Nanny: you employ her and set her wage, she looks after only your children, in your home.
She sounds unreasonable , but your choice is pay what she asks or find alternative childcare, she wont get much work if she carries on like this.

Lweji · 04/03/2022 16:33

It all depends on who needs what.
If she collects your child from your home as a favour/service to you, then I do think you should pay for her travel, yes.
If she takes your child to paid activities outside her home, I'd want to pay case by case, unless they were regular activities that I was happy with.
The 27% pay increase may be fair, depending on going rates for child minders in the area. Was her previous pay low enough?

Ultimately, it rests on how happy you are with her and the available offers in the area.

123walrus · 04/03/2022 16:33

OP, you’ve really blurred the lines here between childminder and nanny.

If you are employing her to care for your son only then she is a nanny. In which case you should have always been covering expenses and mileage. However - and this is really important - she should not be caring for your son at her home. If she wants to care for children at her home she must register with Ofsted as a child minder and then become self employed. She can set her own rates and T&Cs then.

As an aside, employees don’t demand a pay rise. They request one and you, as the employer, can decide if you agree or not. You need to set boundaries if this arrangement is to continue but it can only continue if she cares for your son at your house. Which at least resolves the mileage issue.

MyDcAreMarvel · 04/03/2022 16:33

This is all kinds of dodgy are you paying her NI and tax etc?

Sirzy · 04/03/2022 16:34

So she does a 40 mile round trip twice over the weekend to pick him up and drop him off to provide you with respite? Then yes I would be paying petrol.

Have you looked if you can get any direct payments to help with the cost?

busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 16:34

@AdviceNeeded367

DS has SEN and she has him for the weekend at her house. The rates went from £230 to £310 per weekend with the price increase.

She and DS get on very well. If the price issue wasn’t an issue, I’d have no issue with her!

How many hours does that cover?
RocketPanda · 04/03/2022 16:35

She has him for the weekend at her house? So overnight? Your posts are very unclear about the situation.

GiddyUpJingleHorse · 04/03/2022 16:36

Not a childminder then but a nanny/babysitter Hmm really bugs me when people use the wrong term because other parents will just read the thread title and think oh, childminder taking the piss again. It gives the job a bad name.

But to your actual question, it sounds like you are paying her a fair amount already. Id just say that you don’t agree to the extra because xyz- she can either accept it or give the job up.