Am I an controlling wife

[Mummy3788]

So basically my hubby has been asked to play some golf at the weekend or maybe a drink! I feel like I don’t want him too go! That sounds awful but whenever my hubby use to go out he’d be a complete twat after too much to drink! The last time was probably 2018 Xmas bash so a very long time ago! I actually stayed at my mums and I’m glad I did as when I got home the next morning he’d some how smashed the tv! Because he’s got form I worry! Before that he was drunk before children at a wedding and got very aggressive!
Totally changes!!
Am I being a total selfish controlling moo? Or would u guys feel alittle worried too! If I knew it was just some golf and that’s it then I wouldn’t care but I just worry about him then drinking too much and then acting like that again! I don’t want to tell him how I’m feeling as I don’t want to be that controlling wife I’m sounding like!
Argh any advice or what you would is welcome but please be kind people!! I had 2 young children too

Time changes people when it comes to drink, if he hasn’t done it for years and is now older, he is going to suffer the next day more than he realises, he won’t be doing it again in a hurry, his goinnnto be hit sideways 😂
Get him to stay at a mates.

Going out is absolutely fine.

If he’s aggressive or ridiculous every time he’s drunk then he shouldn’t drink.

If he wants to go out and drink then he stays elsewhere.

No chance would I be sat at home waiting got someone who’d smashed the tv last time and been aggressive at a wedding. That’s not fun, or remotely attractive.

@Aquamarine1029

I definitely would tell him how you're feeling and what you're concerned about. It's totally fine for him to go out, it is absolutely not fine for him to get so drunk that he behaves like an idiot. There is no way I would tolerate that. If that's his plan, and that would be pathetic, he can stay somewhere else for the evening.

Quite right!

I find some of the responses here really odd. I've reread the OP and it says he acts like a twat every time he gets drunk and OP mentions 2 specific occasions where he was aggressive and violent (or careless if you think the TV smashing was an accident). I would be similarly worried that my husband went out and got so drunk he behaved like this. For those saying stay with her mother, how does this solve the problem - she might be safe but what about the general public or her possessions. If he can't control his behaviour he should not be drinking to excess and it is totally reasonable for the OP to make that clear. This doesn't mean he can't go out, but I would want him to know this was a hard boundary for me. For context when my ExH went out, he got totally wasted, wandered into the house at all hours and then had 3 day hangovers but he wasn't violent or aggressive or damaging our home. He was a pretty happy drunk and I just let him get on with it because he wasn't doing any harm.

@MintyGreenDream

Yabu for all the exclamation marks

Oh my God THIS. They are making my teeth itch... What's wrong with a full stop?

Also why should she (and the kids) have to leave their home to facilitate an aggressive drunk? Fuck that shit - if he goes he finds somewhere else to stay!

More people giving advice or moaning about exclamation marks than advice for woman with kids
With a hubby who can't behave with a drink! I'm sure when the kids r all traumatised from the next tv he smashes she will be the bad mum for letting it happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Adeleskirts Because a problem drinker is a problem drinker whether at a wedding, playing golf or smashing the telly at home.

Some drink problems might only surface sporadically, but they are still drink problems. If he is aware that alcohol has this effect on him then you would hope that he just wouldn't drink it, but that is far from guaranteed.

It isn't never allowed out again. It is stop drinking alcohol for the sake of yourself and all around you.

I'll take it as read that you have no experience dealing with a problem drinker.