Am I an controlling wife

[Mummy3788]

So basically my hubby has been asked to play some golf at the weekend or maybe a drink! I feel like I don’t want him too go! That sounds awful but whenever my hubby use to go out he’d be a complete twat after too much to drink! The last time was probably 2018 Xmas bash so a very long time ago! I actually stayed at my mums and I’m glad I did as when I got home the next morning he’d some how smashed the tv! Because he’s got form I worry! Before that he was drunk before children at a wedding and got very aggressive!
Totally changes!!
Am I being a total selfish controlling moo? Or would u guys feel alittle worried too! If I knew it was just some golf and that’s it then I wouldn’t care but I just worry about him then drinking too much and then acting like that again! I don’t want to tell him how I’m feeling as I don’t want to be that controlling wife I’m sounding like!
Argh any advice or what you would is welcome but please be kind people!! I had 2 young children too

Um she didn’t say he smashed rhe tv from aggression, he could have fallen and tripped.

Laptopsandmouses

Um she didn’t say he smashed rhe tv from aggression, he could have fallen and tripped.“

Aw, bless. Smashing the TV is fine if you’re pissed.

@CheshireChat

What does aggressive mean though?

*ready or likely to attack or confront; characterized by or resulting from aggression.

"he's very uncooperative and aggressive"*

There you go

But OP also said he has been aggressive and totally changes when he's had a drink.

She's clearly worried about this, why are you making light of it?

This site is ridiculous sometimes - the OP is worried about her husband coming home drink and smashing up the house/being aggressive in front of the kids and posters focus on her use of exclamation marks. Not cool.

@Booboobibles

It’s so ridiculous how people seem to just copy all the other comments.

Of course you’re not controlling! He smashed the tv and was aggressive in front of children.

On other threads that would be grounds for divorce but on here it’s perfectly acceptable 🙄.

Yup it's pathetic

@Laptopsandmouses

Um she didn’t say he smashed rhe tv from aggression, he could have fallen and tripped.

If someone smashed the TV out of aggression, I would say they smashed the TV. Smashing is the deliberate and violent act itself, no need to say it was because of aggression. If it was from falling and tripping, I would say they tripped and fell into the TV and broke it.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Laptopsandmouses

Um she didn’t say he smashed rhe tv from aggression, he could have fallen and tripped.“

Aw, bless. Smashing the TV is fine if you’re pissed.

No, but sometimes peioke get drunk, trip and smash something

This hysteria that oh my god he’s a violent aggressive drunk is laughable. She said no such thing.

@MintyGreenDream

Yabu for all the exclamation marks

This

So 4 years ago was the last time.. tell him to stay at a mates. Simple.

This hysteria that oh my god he’s a violent aggressive drunk is laughable. She said no such thing.

She literally said he was aggressive.

@Laptopsandmouses

Do you have a tendency for minimising women's feelings around, quite frankly, abusive behaviour, by accusing them of hysteria?

If someone smashed the TV out of aggression, I would say they smashed the TV. Smashing is the deliberate and violent act itself, no need to say it was because of aggression. If it was from falling and tripping, I would say they tripped and fell into the TV and broke

Have you name change failed op? I don’t think a random poster would think their phrasing is relevant, so I’m assuming name change.

Can you clarify, you indicated you don’t know how he broke the tv, but some people are assuming it means he’s a violent alcoholic who did it on purpose, is this what you’re saying?

@Thatsplentyjack

This hysteria that oh my god he’s a violent aggressive drunk is laughable. She said no such thing.

She literally said he was aggressive.

She did not. She said once at a wedding before they had kids he got aggressive,

Ask him not to get drunk as it upsets and worries you, remind him about the last times and how they play on your mind. If he brushes this off and says he's going for a drink after golf anyway then either he stays at a mates afterwards or you go to family or a friend for the night.

@Thatsplentyjack

Sure, but swearing can be aggressive behaviour. And at the other end, so is smashing a TV (deliberately).

I wouldn't be happy about it and I don't think either are acceptable and even at the lower end of the spectrum, if it's habitual it's unacceptable.

[quote CheshireChat]@Thatsplentyjack

Sure, but swearing can be aggressive behaviour. And at the other end, so is smashing a TV (deliberately).

I wouldn't be happy about it and I don't think either are acceptable and even at the lower end of the spectrum, if it's habitual it's unacceptable.[/quote]
But it’s not is it? Habitual, she’s mentioned two events, once he got aggressive at a wedding and once the tv got smashed but she doesn’t know how as she wasn’t there.

I'd enjoy the time to myself, don't care where he is 😆

@Rosebuud

If someone smashed the TV out of aggression, I would say they smashed the TV. Smashing is the deliberate and violent act itself, no need to say it was because of aggression. If it was from falling and tripping, I would say they tripped and fell into the TV and broke

Have you name change failed op? I don’t think a random poster would think their phrasing is relevant, so I’m assuming name change.

Can you clarify, you indicated you don’t know how he broke the tv, but some people are assuming it means he’s a violent alcoholic who did it on purpose, is this what you’re saying?

What a bizarre leap of logic to presume I am the OP.

I would not be happy about the tv being broken up. I mean really. Who does he think he is? Pete Townsend?

But you can't keep him from going out because of what he might do. Either decide you can't live with the uncertainty and end the relationship. Or let him live his life.

She did not. She said once at a wedding before they had kids he got aggressive,

What do you think that means?

Laptopsandmouses

No, but sometimes peioke get drunk, trip and smash something“

If you are a parent, sometimes get drunk and smash something, you need to sort yourself out.

I really enjoy wine. Smashing things is in no way normal.

Depends how you read it TBF, she also says he used to do it everytime he drank. Whether that mean she just choose the 2 worst examples out of many more or there were just 2 🤷‍♀️.

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

She did not. She said once at a wedding before they had kids he got aggressive,

What do you think that means?

That once years ago he was aggressive at a wedding, what else could it mean.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Laptopsandmouses

No, but sometimes peioke get drunk, trip and smash something“

If you are a parent, sometimes get drunk and smash something, you need to sort yourself out.

I really enjoy wine. Smashing things is in no way normal.

And I’m sure I’d you did it once, you’d find it perfectly acceptable to have it held against you for ever more and never be allowed out again because of it,