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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think if you work from home, you’ll have interruptions

998 replies

Positivelyperfect · 03/03/2022 17:28

I have a DH wfh and a toddler. I pick the toddler up at around 4, home for 430. DH finishes at 6, which leaves an hour and a half or so of time where DS is constantly trying to get to DH, crying and having tantrums.

DH ‘solution’ to this is take DS out but tbh I really don’t think I should have to do this five days a week!

OP posts:
Original poster
Positivelyperfect · 04/03/2022 12:26

[quote lemmein]@Escargooooooo not only are you coming across as a really unpleasant individual you also sound a bit thick - an unfortunate combination. [/quote]
I hate to agree but yes you didn’t really seem to get the irony there Escargoo, but this is irrelevant really. I think the last few pages of nonsense would be good Smile

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 04/03/2022 12:27

Sorry to piss on your parade and show a nursery that if you wish to attend 8-4 charges for those hours. And if you wish to change your contract to 8-2, charges only for those hours.

But, and I hate to break it to you, doesn't allow you to pitch up an hour early for the refund 🤪

Original poster
Positivelyperfect · 04/03/2022 12:27

Protecting the trolls, Kim? I have to say I’m extremely disappointed. I thought better of MN.

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 04/03/2022 12:28

@Dixiechickonhols Yes! Perfectly expressed. Thanks for that post, right before this all gets closed down.

Original poster
Positivelyperfect · 04/03/2022 12:28

So lesson learned. Take over a posters thread with spite and the poster is punished by having her thread removed. Utterly disgraceful.

OP posts:
asfuckedascanbe1224 · 04/03/2022 12:28

Honestly, it's your house! If your husband wants that much privacy and peace to work HE should go out to a proper office place! Not you and your son. At all.

I wouldn't go anywhere and I'd tell him that point blank.

Original poster
Positivelyperfect · 04/03/2022 12:29

I have copied Lotty’s post and I will ask in site stuff why it hasn’t been challenged, if this thread is taken down. I am really annoyed about this.

OP posts:
busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 12:29

Most nannies absolutelu hate wfh parents by the way, especially ones who don't hide away in an office and keep coming in and upsetting the children.
Nanny facebook groups have been full of nannies struggling with their jobs due to parents wfh during the pandemic, counting down the days til they return to their offices.

The advice nannies give each other is always to have really firm boundaries with parents that they have to stay out of the way. Parents wanting to work in a family room or pop in and out is a huge red flag for a job!

stuntbubbles · 04/03/2022 12:30

Good for you, @Positivelyperfect – I am genuinely aghast at her post. I know AIBU is a bear pit but that was truly awful, even for here.

Ivyonafence · 04/03/2022 12:31

@KimMumsnet

I don't agree with removing OP's post against her wishes.

It's very clear who has written in a mean spirit and they should be removed. The majority have been sensible and supportive of OP

ChoiceMummy · 04/03/2022 12:31

@MrsMcNally
I think that you and many of the other posters are missing the point.
The world of work has changed. Wfh is a preference for many now. I am lucky in that I wfh as norm long before covid hit, but I so get why asking someone to be dressed for the office, have to have their lunch ready or pay, on top of paying for the commute in terms of money and time. Why should his wishes to not spend time and money on the commute be the expectation? His wishes don't trump op's and vice versa. It is his home too that he pays for. If this really is now an insurmountable issue then they need to find away of affording a home that meets their needs moving forward.

Perhaps if the op was amenable and reasonable to start with, rather than her refusal to consider and compromise on anything then this wouldn't now be the situation?

How the heck did she manage on maternity leave if he was wfh?

Original poster
Positivelyperfect · 04/03/2022 12:31

And the thread is helping me @KimMumsnet

I am stating that very firmly. I do not want the thread taking down. I am very sorry if I am inadvertently creating extra work for MNHQ Flowers but I want it to stay.

OP posts:
TattiePants · 04/03/2022 12:32

@KimMumsnet, the OP has repeatedly asked for her thread NOT to be taken down. How about respecting that and deal with some of the disgusting posters that are blatantly derailing the thread.

5zeds · 04/03/2022 12:34

OP isn’t a nanny, she’s a mother.

OP you don’t seem to be focused on finding any solution other than dh doesn’t wfh. Early on you said he wouldn’t change so what ARE you going to do?

Original poster
Positivelyperfect · 04/03/2022 12:35

I think that posters who are clearly just goading should be dealt with.

Anyway the thread is nearly full.

OP posts:
Whitefire · 04/03/2022 12:35

You're wrong @KimMumsnet the OP has clearly stated it is helpful.

5zeds · 04/03/2022 12:35

I would imagine the thread would be more likely to remain open if people stopped making personal attacks?

NoSquirrels · 04/03/2022 12:36

Genuinely, OP - why do you want the thread to stay up? It ceased being actively useful a long time ago.

I don’t disagree many posts are rubbish but there’s equally no active benefit to any advice- which you don’t want anyway - so I di think MNHQ are making the right decision to take it down. You said it’s negatively affected you, it’s not helping at all.

Whitefire · 04/03/2022 12:36

@5zeds

OP isn’t a nanny, she’s a mother.

OP you don’t seem to be focused on finding any solution other than dh doesn’t wfh. Early on you said he wouldn’t change so what ARE you going to do?

The OP doesn't need to do anything.
stuntbubbles · 04/03/2022 12:36

Perhaps if the op was amenable and reasonable to start with,
She literally asked her DH if he’d go into the office! She didn’t shove him out the door and fart on his keyboard. She said something akin to “Hey, this isn’t working for me, could we try this?” And he was unreasonable and said “go out five days a week”. And now here we are. But nothing in that scenario suggests she wasn’t amenable and reasonable.

5zeds · 04/03/2022 12:36

OP what about outlining (again) what sort of responses you are looking for?

LottyD32 · 04/03/2022 12:37

@Positivelyperfect

But if op's mental state is as bad as she says off the back of the comments of an internet forum, then putting the child in nursery longer and taking the time between finishing work and picking him up, for herself, might be the best idea.

That was from @LottyD32

I’d be very interested in knowing what MNHQs response to this is. Because that reeks of pure spite, as well as strongly implying that anyone suffering depression / anxiety should have their child kept away from them as much as feasibly possible Hmm

Suggesting a bit of self care everyday really isn't spiteful.
Whitefire · 04/03/2022 12:38

OP you need to fart on his keyboard, that will get rid of him. Grin

lemmein · 04/03/2022 12:39

Wfh is a preference for many now.

@ChoiceMummy yes, a preference.

I'm not sure why you think it's the OPs job to be amenable. She's not the one with the issue.

The DH has a choice to work from his office - if he chooses to work from his home, where a toddler he fathered lives, then he has to put up with the consequences of that choice. The OP isn't taking her child to his workplace - it's her home ffs!

busyeatingbiscuits · 04/03/2022 12:39

@5zeds

OP what about outlining (again) what sort of responses you are looking for?
The question was: "AIBU to think if you work from home you'll have interruptions?"
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