To fear a family member is accessing our medical records

[durdledoo]

I'm not really sure what to do about this and would love some practical advice to stop this potentially happening.
My mil is a nurse, she works at the local surgeries that me, my husband and my children attend. She has previously gone through my husbands medical notes before and confronted him on health complications he's had in the past and not told her about (this was a long time ago, but he was in his early twenties at the time).
A few comments recently has be concerned she's done it again. My husband had 2 drs apts and we only told her about one. She / fil has asked me several times now if dh is okay and asked about his second drs apt (that we haven't even discussed with them)
They know about one health issue and he's openly discussed it with them but the other is very private.
The other day mil said "how is dh, is he okay" and I just replied "yes, he went down and has been referred" (discussing said health issues we've told them about) and she said "well, he went down again didn't he?" Basically prying into the outcome of this second apt she should know nothing about.

I can't prove anything, but considering previous and the fact she's digging (a lot) and acting very stand off-ish I am legitimately concerned she's been at our medical notes (or at least dh's) but i wouldn't put it past her to look through all of ours. We've had lots of ongoing problems in the past with boundaries and the relationship has never been simple.

Is there anything I can do. Would loving surgery completely help? She works all over locally so I fear not.

Can we ask the surgery to make out information inaccessible to her?

Looking for some practical steps I could take to protect our privacy. There's absolutely no point raising this with her, she will inevitably deny it and previously when she went through her adult sons records he was the one "in trouble" for not telling her about his health concerns...

Are you saying that she would inject her son with a vaccine in her own home when he had just woken up and hadn't given consent?

@HollowTalk

Are you saying that she would inject her son with a vaccine in her own home when he had just woken up and hadn't given consent?

Yes, apparently !

OP as others have said you and DH email the GP surgery marking it for attention of practice manager

Just be factual

Your MiL is a nurse at xyz place and has said something indicating she may know medical knowledge of your DH/ you / and for DCs/ whoever else that you did not disclose. You would like them to check if yours and DHs (or DCs) medical records have been accessed by someone else including your MiL in order to reassure yourself your medical confidentiality has been kept, as it is worrying you.

If MIL (or anyone on her behalf) has accessed them there will be an electronic data trail, it is a sackable offence in NHS and in social care to access records of relatives or friends that you have no right to access pr to look at records without legitimate reason to do so. (If it might have been gossip in the practice, your practice manager will also subtly check that ...)

We avoid any incidence of accessing records of people we know personally (ie. without legitimate reason) and there is rarely /never a reason you'd be in emergency situation medical personnel would have to access a relative's record as the only person available who could do that for even a health crisis situation they'd been asked to deal with and not stopped themselves to ask someone else to step in for them.

To prevent any GDPR breach all nhs staff and social care staff would say to their manager 'you need to take this call/ i cannot look this up for you as I am related to them / they are my very close friend outside work...' precisely to avoid any indications of impropriety. It's medical confidentiality& data protection 101 basic rules!! ....

So there will be an electronic data trail if she did access records . If she did, she deserves to be sacked -Ericka confidentiality is taken so seriously it considered gross misconduct.

If she didn't access it, then practice manager does not need to do anything.

Jeez. This is terrible. I would try and have a discreet chat with the practice manager simply to understand what safeguarding measures are in place to protect your data. You can stop short of accusing MIL as you have no proof, but I bet the conversation would be enough to make them check the audit trail.

My DM once read my confidential medical notes while I was having an operation. She discovered that I'd had an STD test. Was in my early twenties at the time. She didn't mention it until a few weeks later when she threw it at me during an argument, ie basically accusing me of sleeping around. I'd actually had the test because my boyfriend at the time had cheated on me with someone else. Not that it was any of her business!! I've never quite forgiven that. She crossed a major line. So I have massive sympathy for you!

"If she didn't access it, then practice manager does not need to do anything."

It's not just about that though is it?

MIL not only knew about the 2nd appointment (how?) but also mentioned it.

Even if she didn't find out through her work she still shouldn't have said anything should she?

The consequences of your MIL's actions are completely and utterly on her - if she has accessed family medical records, then she is perfectly aware that it's something she shouldn't be doing from an employment standpoint, even if she is twisted enough to think that she should be allowed to intrude on her family's personal medical information.

If she doesn't care enough about the law, her patients' confidentiality or your family's right to privacy, then a 'chat' will do nothing to stop her and she deserves whatever she has coming. Your husband knows that she has breached confidentiality and he's chosen to let it slide, but you don't have to and you actively owe it to your daughter to ensure that she is protected from this toxic level of interference from her grandmother.

I read some more of your posts OP

Just to be clear
I don't want her to lose her job. I also don't want to have got it all wrong; drag her through is and cause huge issues with the family. I just want to be able to quietly put into place a way of her not being able to access our records, I wondered if this was possible?

You don't need to know the outcome or for definite before you raise it as an issue. Practice manager will want to get up bottom of any seeming impropriety. If she did access DH or you r records, nhs has clear process to follow that is outside your control. You can bet a nurse breaching medical confidentiality once will think it's ok to do for others so it won't just be about DH or you.

And they can help. If it was a mention from a gossipy receptionist of "oooh I saw your son in here recently / he missed an appm" without any sharing of details, then the practice manager will want to nip that in the bud.

You can ask for your complaint to be dealt with confidentially- so your mil never needs know .

Everyone in the NHS knows this isn’t allowed and does regular training on information governance! It is traceable (although they’d probably need to look for it rather than being an automatic flag). You can also ask for your records to be restricted access. That isn’t completely issue free as it will also potentially block some others from seeing his records eg if he saw another nurse for treatment. You’d need to speak to the practice manager and see what they can do

Is there any chance she is asking a colleague to access records on her behalf. She must be aware it’s a data confidentiality breach.

Are you saying that she would inject her son with a vaccine in her own home when he had just woken up and hadn't given consent?

• Yes, apparently!

She should not be a practicing nurse, she sounds completely unethical and outrageously overstepping. Awful.

I think it goes a lot deeper than this incident, though it's bad enough in itself (and yes, I'd recommend reporting this and fuck her if she gets sacked, I bet she's a shit nurse as well as parent). She sounds absolutely toxic and your poor husband is well and truly mired in the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). So much that he probably doesn't have the tools to get rid of his parents from your lives. Is there any concrete reason you need to stay in touch, is inheritance a factor? Cos I bet she, and his father, have all sorts of ways of wielding a stick over their son to keep him dancing to their abusive, batshit, unhinged, fucked up tune.

Check out the "Well we took you to Stately Homes" thread in Relationships on here, you and especially your husband would benefit from reading it. He may need therapy to unpack the nightmare family he came from. But honestly, I think the best thing to do would be blow the whole thing sky high, report her, fuck her and her job that involves snooping on PRIVATE records (and don't anyone come back saying some things are less private, we all have our own boundaries on that and nobody else gets to decide that), fuck his dad too if wrath is all he can expect back. No contact, a peaceful life of never having to see them, how does that sound to you?

I don't want her to lose her job.
Frankly, if she's abusing her position to access people's medical records she deserves to. I'd tell the practice manager immediately.
I also don't want to have got it all wrong; drag her through is and cause huge issues with the family.
If you're wrong then the practice manager will discover this. And TBH it sounds like there already are 'issues' with the family. Plus she's done it before, so it's not like your suspicions are unfounded.
No sympathy for her from me.

@Dontbeme

whenever one of us is remotely poorly they always know and she regularly comes round with various devices, tests, stuff she's taken from the surgery so she can give us her very own check up

I think she has asked if she can borrow stuff and bring it back. The Gp's allow it

Absolutely baffled that your GP allows staff to take medical devices home for use on family, then just pop it back afterwards. Is this normal? It seems like a legal minefield as well as medically dubious.

I’m completely baffled too, no surgery where I have worked would allow this! How on earth would they keep tabs on where the equipment is at any given time? I have been a district nurse and a practice nurse in at least 5 different unconnected practices, never has this been allowed.

The practice manager will be able lock your records so she can’t read them

Unless you never want to speak to your MIL again I definitely wouldn’t complain to the practice manager. She will get sacked and more than likely have her nursing registration revoked. I’m assuming that’s not something either you or DH want?

I don’t understand why either of you don’t just bring it up to her? What’s the worse that can happen? If she knows you know then chances are she will stop looking as she knows it’s illegal and the consequences are the loss of her job.

People just don’t like confrontation face to face but the confrontation you’ll get if you report her will be tenfold. Just speak to her.

"Unless you never want to speak to your MIL again I definitely wouldn’t complain to the practice manager. She will get sacked and more than likely have her nursing registration revoked."

Sounds like a win win to me!

Snooping MIL no longer in picture & has lost job due to breaking the terms of it.

@chloehel
She's already been confronted, but twisted it to make out he was the one in the wrong for not telling her in the first place!
Why would it be any different this time?

previously when she went through her adult sons records he was the one "in trouble" for not telling her about his health concerns...confused

This is a breach of confidentiality. We have a very strict process at work that you are not to open any record if the person is personally known to you. Staff have done this at work and have found themselves in a disciplinary.

I would firstly contact the surgery - Practice Manager - and raise your concerns. The system should track who is accessing your records.

By reporting, however, you should be aware that your MIL could potentially lose her job.

Honestly. If I was at this practice I would bloody want to know

I would not be happy there was a medical practitioner which such loose morals they'd do this

Who's to say she's not snooping on everyone? Sees old what's her chops from down the road in. Wonder what that's about. Has a quick nosy

I think you have to look at the bigger picture. She knows what she's doing is wrong. She knows she can lose her job.

I'd report. Put a restriction on your entire family's data.

They can look into it. Nothing wrong? No problem. She doesn't need access anyway so what's the problem.
She's been checking up on everyone? Well she gets what she deserves. It's not your fault. At all. She's behaved fucking reprehensibly.

She sounds dreadful - I'd report her

@ChloeHel

Unless you never want to speak to your MIL again I definitely wouldn’t complain to the practice manager. She will get sacked and more than likely have her nursing registration revoked. I’m assuming that’s not something either you or DH want?

I don’t understand why either of you don’t just bring it up to her? What’s the worse that can happen? If she knows you know then chances are she will stop looking as she knows it’s illegal and the consequences are the loss of her job.

People just don’t like confrontation face to face but the confrontation you’ll get if you report her will be tenfold. Just speak to her.

They already tried that:

previously when she went through her adult sons records he was the one "in trouble" for not telling her about his health concerns...confused

This woman doesn't have the right to work as a nurse because she is not upholding the rules and regulations that are in place protect patients.

She has been warned that she should be doing this, not only in her training (which will have been repeated over the years especially recently now access can be tracked to individuals) but also directly by her family who said she shouldn't be looking at their records.

She then bollocked her son instead of apologising and being mortified.

She is totally and utterly in the wrong. Nobody has the right to keep their job if they are shamelessly breaking the rules and invading the privacy of others.

Expecting OP and her DH to roll over, or thinking that they should talk to her yet again about it, is unreasonable and dismissive towards them.

Report your concerns to the surgery.

If she has looked and they have any of the common health records systems, patient record access is logged and is auditable, i.e. her name will be on the access log, and, she will have to justify her reasons for accessing them.

If she cannot, she is likely to be at least fired from the practice, at worst struck off from the NMC.

You need to just send the email and be done with it. If there's a fall out it's her own making, if she's done nothing wrong then she has nothing to worry about

I'm surprised so many are saying "be warned that she may lose her job"

Wouldn't that be a good thing if she has been accessing records unnecessarily?

As a pp put-what about the other patients?