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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fear a family member is accessing our medical records

395 replies

durdledoo · 03/03/2022 08:51

I'm not really sure what to do about this and would love some practical advice to stop this potentially happening.
My mil is a nurse, she works at the local surgeries that me, my husband and my children attend. She has previously gone through my husbands medical notes before and confronted him on health complications he's had in the past and not told her about (this was a long time ago, but he was in his early twenties at the time).
A few comments recently has be concerned she's done it again. My husband had 2 drs apts and we only told her about one. She / fil has asked me several times now if dh is okay and asked about his second drs apt (that we haven't even discussed with them)
They know about one health issue and he's openly discussed it with them but the other is very private.
The other day mil said "how is dh, is he okay" and I just replied "yes, he went down and has been referred" (discussing said health issues we've told them about) and she said "well, he went down again didn't he?" Basically prying into the outcome of this second apt she should know nothing about.

I can't prove anything, but considering previous and the fact she's digging (a lot) and acting very stand off-ish I am legitimately concerned she's been at our medical notes (or at least dh's) but i wouldn't put it past her to look through all of ours. We've had lots of ongoing problems in the past with boundaries and the relationship has never been simple.

Is there anything I can do. Would loving surgery completely help? She works all over locally so I fear not.

Can we ask the surgery to make out information inaccessible to her?

Looking for some practical steps I could take to protect our privacy. There's absolutely no point raising this with her, she will inevitably deny it and previously when she went through her adult sons records he was the one "in trouble" for not telling her about his health concerns...Confused

OP posts:
Iamkmackered1979 · 03/03/2022 08:57

That would be a pretty big breach, I’m a nurse and we have data handling rules and have to regularly update ourselves and we cannot access family information and it would get flagged up. However not sure how it works in the community. I think you/your husband need to speak to her and make it clear to her that if she is looking at your husbands details again you will report her, I’m sorry but I wouldn’t put up with that. She has no ‘right’ to access her sons medical information - nor would I and my son is a child. Perhaps she also needs reassurance that you will tell her if it’s anything serious, that said she needs to watch herself. I wouldn’t risk my job to be a nosey bugger

Alandinasane · 03/03/2022 08:57

If you report this to the practice manager she will be sacked. It's possible to track who has accessed which records on the database and this would be taken very seriously. So you could either tell her that the slightest hint of this again and you will make the formal complaint. Or you can just make the formal complaint and potentially she will lose the job.
She's not fit to be in that post in my opinion, if she's done this then you can expect she's been looking up others as well.

RampantIvy · 03/03/2022 08:58

You need to raise this with the practice manager. What she is doing is a disciplinary offence.

Nap1983 · 03/03/2022 09:00

It’s a big rush for her to be accessing records online. They are audited and would probably flag up you searching The same surname as yourself. I know nurses who have been disciplined even for accessing their own

Nap1983 · 03/03/2022 09:00

Risk not rush Blush

Soontobe60 · 03/03/2022 09:01

Now that everything is electronic, she would have to log in to someone’s records in order to access them. This will be recorded somewhere, showing who accessed the records and when. If you are concerned, speak to the practice manager at your surgery. They will be able to check on the patient record system.
If she has done this, she may well lose her job. Are you happy for this to happen? If not, I’d be tempted to jokingly say something along the lines of “wow, you seem to know more about DHs doctor visits than we’ve told you, it’s almost like you’re checking his records, but I know you wouldn’t do that would you?” Or perhaps “a friend of mine thinks her sister who’s a Health Visitor at her doctors has been looking at her records. She’s going to report it to her GP. Could the HV be sacked for doing this?”

BusinessMindThoughts · 03/03/2022 09:01

There is no way she doesn't know that even doing this once can get her sacked.
I'd have complained after the first time. Who else is she doing this to?

I think I'm right in saying that there are logs of who has accessed which files and you need to have a reason (it's certainly the case in the police).

Poppyseed1979 · 03/03/2022 09:01

Hi, I work in HR in a hospital and this would absolutely be seen as a breach of information governance. As a pp has said all access to electronic records can be tracked so if you make a complaint to the practice she would quite rightly find herself in quite a lot of trouble if she has accessed records she had no legitimate reason to look at.

Susu49 · 03/03/2022 09:02

I would have a chat with the practice manager about your concerns, they can check to see if she's been accessing files she shouldn't be.

DysmalRadius · 03/03/2022 09:03

I would contact the practice manager and explain that your MIL has medical information about your family that you haven't shared as they will be able to see if she has accessed your husband's records and take appropriate action if she has.

Freddofan · 03/03/2022 09:04

Remember that it’s also entirely possible one of her colleagues has said something about seeing her son / saying hello at the surgery the other day and she’s just fishing.

Laptopsandmouses · 03/03/2022 09:05

Are you sure op and not jist someone told her he’d been in? Because there is an audit trail and she’d be fired and she’d know it.

Is it not possible that a member of staff said oh I saw your son the other day?

pinkyredrose · 03/03/2022 09:05

Of course she's accessed his records, there's no way she'd know about the 2nd appt otherwise. You need to let the practice know, what she's doing is massively unethical and also illegal.

Groovee · 03/03/2022 09:05

I know someone who accessed my records was picked up on the routine audit and then transpired they had accessed family members records etc. They were sacked then struck off the nursing register too.

They claim nursing didn't suit their family needs... when realistically they lost everything through nosiness. I found who who is was from a SAR. They don't know I know.

pinkyredrose · 03/03/2022 09:05

Remember that it’s also entirely possible one of her colleagues has said something about seeing her son

Then they shouldn't be doing that.

Iamkmackered1979 · 03/03/2022 09:09

Even if someone she works with saw your husband and told her they’d seen them, that is a breach of confidentiality. You literally have to be totally transparent and you don’t look at records that aren’t directly required for the patient you are treating and you don’t tell people you’ve seen their family members in your clinic/ward etc

Bagelsandbrie · 03/03/2022 09:10

That is absolutely dreadful. I would be very open with her and say you know she’s done it as she’s talking about things which she’d only know if she had accessed them. I’d report her.

Ncwinc · 03/03/2022 09:11

If she knows about the appointment but not the medical reasons for the appointment she probably hasn’t looked at his file. All it would take is a receptionist saying, ‘I saw your Eric today’ in the break room. Or even her legitimately looking to see if a GP has a no show in their surgery, because the patient she’s seeing needs to be checked by a doctor, and seeing her DS’ name on the appointment list.

CorpusCallosum · 03/03/2022 09:11

Yep, electronic records track who has accessed what. If you raise a complaint they should track and see if she's accessed records she shouldn't have. She could well be sacked if she has so do consider those consequences.

However, it might also prompt the practice to do some proper due diligence! In our social care workplace if a staff member has relatives on the system those records are automatically made confidential and people have to request special permission to access it. Honestly it can be a PITA for those seeking legitimate access but it works to keep that individuals information secure so it's worth it!

Username916 · 03/03/2022 09:11

If she's a nurse that works there too is it not entirely possible she was looking at the appointment screen and saw his name? It's common for nurses to look forward and to look at the doctors screens if they need to book an appointment for a patient.

You can contact the practice manager and have your records restricted from her, it's not difficult and they will do it discreetly. They can easily look to see if she has accessed the actual records also.

GodspeedJune · 03/03/2022 09:12

I think the surgery can restrict or stop her access to his records. Hopefully someone who works in a GP surgery can confirm this.

Original poster
durdledoo · 03/03/2022 09:13

Thanks so much everyone for responding quickly.

The first time she looked at dh's records we weren't together. It was 10+ years ago. I'm not sure if perhaps back then it was easier to get away with it?
What concerns me is that she's done it before and she seemed to think she had a right to as he's her son. He got sat down for a serious discussion with his parents because HE was in trouble for not telling them about a health concern (nothing life threatening not that it should matter). When he told me this had happened I was shocked she'd done it but more shocked she had the balls to tell him she had AND he was the one in the wrong.

She could well have known because a colleague told her but why wouldn't she have mentioned it? "Oh so and so saw dh down there again this week; I hope he's okay"?

The second apt (they shouldn't know about) is for a vasectomy the first apt is for his a minor op on his hand (which they know about). It's not a case of us ever not telling them when something serious is wrong, whenever one of us is remotely poorly they always know and she regularly comes round with various devices, tests, stuff she's taken from the surgery so she can give us her very own check up. I don't think she is worried we'd hide something serious from her, I think she's a very nosy person who sees her son as an extension of herself.

I don't want her to lose her job. I also don't want to have got it all wrong; drag her through is and cause huge issues with the family. I just want to be able to quietly put into place a way of her not being able to access our records, I wondered if this was possible?

It's been a rocky 10 years knowing this woman and the thought of rocking the boat gives me anxiety.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 03/03/2022 09:14

I would say your husband needs to talk to her directly and point out that it’s( I believe)a sacking offence.
BUT if she can access his data, why is she still digging for info?

Original poster
durdledoo · 03/03/2022 09:18

@Ohyesiam

I would say your husband needs to talk to her directly and point out that it’s( I believe)a sacking offence. BUT if she can access his data, why is she still digging for info?
Because she wants us to tell her so she can advise dh on what he does. She can't tell us she knows as she knows she shouldn't. She'll want to know the outcome of said apt etc/ follow up apts and know what's going on throughout.
OP posts:
Original poster
durdledoo · 03/03/2022 09:19

@Username916

If she's a nurse that works there too is it not entirely possible she was looking at the appointment screen and saw his name? It's common for nurses to look forward and to look at the doctors screens if they need to book an appointment for a patient.

You can contact the practice manager and have your records restricted from her, it's not difficult and they will do it discreetly. They can easily look to see if she has accessed the actual records also.

It's a bit confusing but basically it was 1 apt for 2 things. The dr then asked dh to come back later and he just slotted him in to a spare gap. Dh couldn't check himself in as it wasn't an official apt so wasn't on the system as such
OP posts: