Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fear a family member is accessing our medical records

395 replies

durdledoo · 03/03/2022 08:51

I'm not really sure what to do about this and would love some practical advice to stop this potentially happening.
My mil is a nurse, she works at the local surgeries that me, my husband and my children attend. She has previously gone through my husbands medical notes before and confronted him on health complications he's had in the past and not told her about (this was a long time ago, but he was in his early twenties at the time).
A few comments recently has be concerned she's done it again. My husband had 2 drs apts and we only told her about one. She / fil has asked me several times now if dh is okay and asked about his second drs apt (that we haven't even discussed with them)
They know about one health issue and he's openly discussed it with them but the other is very private.
The other day mil said "how is dh, is he okay" and I just replied "yes, he went down and has been referred" (discussing said health issues we've told them about) and she said "well, he went down again didn't he?" Basically prying into the outcome of this second apt she should know nothing about.

I can't prove anything, but considering previous and the fact she's digging (a lot) and acting very stand off-ish I am legitimately concerned she's been at our medical notes (or at least dh's) but i wouldn't put it past her to look through all of ours. We've had lots of ongoing problems in the past with boundaries and the relationship has never been simple.

Is there anything I can do. Would loving surgery completely help? She works all over locally so I fear not.

Can we ask the surgery to make out information inaccessible to her?

Looking for some practical steps I could take to protect our privacy. There's absolutely no point raising this with her, she will inevitably deny it and previously when she went through her adult sons records he was the one "in trouble" for not telling her about his health concerns...Confused

OP posts:
Mybestyear · 03/03/2022 09:20

Sackable offence to access records for people not in your care and she will a million percent know this. We all had to do courses and sign data protection forms when we went to e-records. And that was before the update / GDPR which is even stricter. But - is it possible she saw an appointment list rather than actually accessing his records? She could have maybe been checking her appointments and saw his name on a general list??

Mybestyear · 03/03/2022 09:20

X post!!

Laptopsandmouses · 03/03/2022 09:20

I can see why it gives you anxiety because you’ve no idea if she’s done this or not, she’s your husbands mother, he’s not a kid and he doesn’t need you to fight his battles if he thinks this then he needs to speak to her.

Right now is all you know is she knows he went to th surgery a second time,

Original poster
durdledoo · 03/03/2022 09:21

@Username916

If she's a nurse that works there too is it not entirely possible she was looking at the appointment screen and saw his name? It's common for nurses to look forward and to look at the doctors screens if they need to book an appointment for a patient.

You can contact the practice manager and have your records restricted from her, it's not difficult and they will do it discreetly. They can easily look to see if she has accessed the actual records also.

I'd like to do this. Just so she can't- because even if she hasn't I do think she would be super tempted if she felt he wasn't telling her everything. I just can't be SURE she has (again) so don't want to cause a massive issue if I've got it all wrong. If this is an option without her knowing about it then I will have to look into it. Thank you
OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 03/03/2022 09:22

The only way to quietly put something in place is for your husband to tell her it’s no go.
He can do this kindly and point out that she has form for it, so not an unfounded criticism. It’s fine to be boundaried, she probably won’t want to relinquish any control but she needs to find an way of dealing with that. If she can’t respect an adult’s autonomy , ( or follow data handling guidelines) it doesn’t bode well for her nursing.

But as I said in my pp you need to ask her to be straight with you, because if she had accessed his notes she would already know the answer to the questions she is asking. Maybe someone just mentioned they had seen him at gp s

1FootInTheRave · 03/03/2022 09:22

This needs reporting.

If she's done nothing wrong then she won't be in trouble will she.

Original poster
durdledoo · 03/03/2022 09:22

@Iamkmackered1979

Even if someone she works with saw your husband and told her they’d seen them, that is a breach of confidentiality. You literally have to be totally transparent and you don’t look at records that aren’t directly required for the patient you are treating and you don’t tell people you’ve seen their family members in your clinic/ward etc
There is this. She literally shouldn't know, should she. Someone somewhere isn't keeping to conduct
OP posts:
Ncwinc · 03/03/2022 09:22

I think the easiest way to keep her from your records and ‘not rock the boat’ would be to change surgery.

You could stay with the same surgery and talk to the practice manager - explain that you’re concerned and want your records sealed from her. The potential fallout from that could be bad. If they check and she has accessed your records she’ll lose her job. If she finds out that she’s been locked out of the records because you don’t trust her she might flip.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 03/03/2022 09:23

Does she know the detail or just know the appointment details (as in is the appointment system a separate system to patient records). Either way it's awful but one is much more highly confidential than the other

Change123today · 03/03/2022 09:23

You have two options - he needs to tell his mum to back off & what she is doing is a sackable offence.

Or work with the practice manager who can run an audit to investigate- it will flag searches & allow them to deal with it.

A colleague shouldn’t even being mention to his Mum how’s your son - for example my sister works in a department that her daughter was referred to - she knew why - but her colleague have never mentioned it to her & she hasn’t looked at her daughter record as that is a sackable offence. Even if she didn’t know why she wouldn’t have - she only know what her daughter has told her.

hazelnutlatte · 03/03/2022 09:25

If she works in a GP practice she might have just seen his name on the appointment book - this would explain why she is asking questions as unless she actually looked into his medical record she won't know anything about what the appointment was for. Every time we look at someone's medical record it leaves a trace so if you were to complain it would be pretty clear if she has done this

HoppingPavlova · 03/03/2022 09:25

Is the only additional information she knows the fact that your DH went for an additional visit? Is it possible she was working that day and saw him come in?

Original poster
durdledoo · 03/03/2022 09:26

@Ncwinc

I think the easiest way to keep her from your records and ‘not rock the boat’ would be to change surgery.

You could stay with the same surgery and talk to the practice manager - explain that you’re concerned and want your records sealed from her. The potential fallout from that could be bad. If they check and she has accessed your records she’ll lose her job. If she finds out that she’s been locked out of the records because you don’t trust her she might flip.

She works as several (most) local surgeries. We'd have to travel a fair bit to avoid her. I am tempted to try and find one she doesn't work at ...
OP posts:
Ncwinc · 03/03/2022 09:26

It could have been one of her patients in the waiting room who saw her son and then mentioned it in the appointment. It could have been her neighbour who then mentioned it when they were chatting in the street. It’s the reason that all my friends went to the sexual health clinic as teenagers! If they were seen waiting in the doctors surgery on a Monday afternoon their mothers would know by tea time!

Original poster
durdledoo · 03/03/2022 09:27

@HoppingPavlova

Is the only additional information she knows the fact that your DH went for an additional visit? Is it possible she was working that day and saw him come in?
No, she wasn't working that day. She was off that week in fact
OP posts:
Mischance · 03/03/2022 09:28

Register with a different practice?

Nelliephant1 · 03/03/2022 09:29

I'm a nurse as is my husband and we've had numerous serious health issues in the family over the last few years concerning my mother. There's been loads of misunderstandings between my parents and doctors etc and there's been many times we've really wanted and needed to know what's going on but never once have we considered checking her records.
It's wrong, unethical, a breach of data protection etc etc etc.

I worked in social services for many years and we had levels of clearance depending on seniority and need to know.

The son of one of my team was serving life for murder, one of the admin team happened to mention it as she'd come across his notes and there was a huge hulabaloo. The authorisation for his file to be opened was changed and only senior staff were allowed access.

My guess is that there will be a similar mechanism on your practice system so go to the practice manager and say that you'd like the permissions raised on your records as your concerned that a family member works in the practice and could have free access. You can always throw in about this having happened to a friend.

It's your information therefore you have a say in how it's stored. There will also be someone somewhere who is responsible for data protection compliance so you can find out the policy for these scenarios.

Don't let mil away with it though!!

Ncwinc · 03/03/2022 09:29

If she works in several you’re going to need to ask for your records to be sealed. You could emphasise that you have no concerns that she’s breached any confidentiality and that it’s just for your peace of mind (lie through your teeth Grin) as you’re a very private person.

SarahProblem · 03/03/2022 09:30

If you're really concerned get your DH to do a subject access request (SAR) with information pertaining to who has accessed his records.

Jvg33 · 03/03/2022 09:30

Tell her you are going to report her if she continues. Tell her we won't be telling you any medical information and if someone in the family seems to know something we will report you. It's private

EvilPea · 03/03/2022 09:31

@Ncwinc

I think the easiest way to keep her from your records and ‘not rock the boat’ would be to change surgery.

You could stay with the same surgery and talk to the practice manager - explain that you’re concerned and want your records sealed from her. The potential fallout from that could be bad. If they check and she has accessed your records she’ll lose her job. If she finds out that she’s been locked out of the records because you don’t trust her she might flip.

This is what I’d do. It’s going to stop you wanting to go and get checked out. Think in years to come your kids want the pill or need to get checked out for something but are too worried in case granny finds out
m00rfarm · 03/03/2022 09:31

Could someone have seen him at the surgery for the second appointment and told her?

vivainsomnia · 03/03/2022 09:32

Of course she's accessed his records, there's no way she'd know about the 2nd appt otherwise
That's not true. It sounds that all she knows is that he had another appointment. There will be list of patients appointments on that day and are might know that way.

That's not illegal, just as many practices have your name flashing on a screen to invite you to go in, or even just th doctor calling your name in front of everyone waiting.

It will only be illegal if she went on his record but then she would know all the details so would not need to ask.

incognitoforthisone · 03/03/2022 09:32

whenever one of us is remotely poorly they always know and she regularly comes round with various devices, tests, stuff she's taken from the surgery so she can give us her very own check up

I'm no expert but ... this also sounds like something a registered nurse should absolutely not be doing?!

Allelbowsandtoes · 03/03/2022 09:33

As others have said, if she's actually do e this she is in sooooo much trouble Grin
I'm a nurse and we are tracked and audited on records we access, and there's a historical record of all notes we access online, so they can go back and check.
I once randomly got an email from the data access team as they thought I was looking up a family members records, as I had a patient on my caseload who had the same surname as me!
Get it investigated OP....and let us know the outcome!