Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a question in the class WhatApp?

118 replies

whatstheteamarie · 03/03/2022 08:24

Short story: yesterday I asked what the date was of a school event in the class WhatsApp

From a group of 30 parents I received no response except one mum replying with the Monocle Emoji (basically suggesting I look harder for this info myself).

Long story: I'm a lone parent as my DH died suddenly just over a year ago.

Mostly I'm on top of things, but juggling everything alone on top of my grief, my DCs grief, plus health issues, covid etc has meant that occasionally I've dropped the ball by missing some school events (partly because I can't face seeing all the other happy families, partly because I'm so busy I can't fit everything in and partly because I didn't realise they were happening in the first place).

So DC1 came home last night and mentioned the school event that was upcoming, I was trying to get DC2 sorted and out the door to their after school activity, checked my emails from the school, couldn't find anything about said event and fired off question to the WhatsApp group, only to be made to feel rude/foolish for asking.

So:
YABU -you shouldn't ask questions on the class WhatsApp group to save time/energy, you should sort the info yourself.

YANBU - the class WhatsApp are designed to help parents and responding with the date would have been just as quick as the judge-y emoji response that I got.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 03/03/2022 08:26

Yanbu

Leave the group, they’re not very nice

litlealligator · 03/03/2022 08:27

YANBU, they sound awful!

MrsWooster · 03/03/2022 08:27

Your group are arses. Ours exists more or less completely to remind people about upcoming things like swimming, or WBD.

Piggy42 · 03/03/2022 08:27

Surely that’s exactly what it’s for? I’m sorry. Maybe they didn’t know either as their dc’s hadn’t mentioned it yet.

TonyBravo · 03/03/2022 08:27

YANBU - surely that's what the WhatsApp if for? We've had about five or six parents ask this morning about world book day costumes for today and they all got replies.
They don't sound like a very nice bunch. I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks

TheBareTree · 03/03/2022 08:30

YANBU. She’s clearly a cow. Maybe the other parents have the group on mute (like I do) or just don’t know.

LemonMuffins · 03/03/2022 08:30

What's it for if it's not for asking questions?? Confused

We have a cadets whatsapp group which is mostly full of people not knowing what's going on or arranging lifts. Can't imagine what else we'd talk about!

daisybrown37 · 03/03/2022 08:31

This is a main purpose of our group - reminders for those who may have missed something! As well as finding lost items and teacher present collections….

Your group sounds awful and unhelpful.

FourOclock · 03/03/2022 08:31

I would have read the monocle emoji as that parent also wondering and watching the thread to see the answer. Doesn't explain why noone else answered though, maybe none of them know?!

georgarina · 03/03/2022 08:32

YANBU that's extremely rude. I would honestly reply something like 'thanks for the help, since DH died last year it has been harder to keep track of everything myself but I will look it up myself.'

Theanswerisinthequestion · 03/03/2022 08:32

There is a huge amount of favoritism on class groups.
I'd leave, give them something to talk about.

thehillswerebright · 03/03/2022 08:32

I would take the emoji as she's having a look. My groups are a bit like that though either people read and you get loads of answers right away or it's always one person answering or everyone reads but also don't know so they don't comment

beingsunny · 03/03/2022 08:32

Wow! Class WhatsApp groups were invented for exactly this!! Also for requesting sympathy over bloody book week and the like Grin

These lot sound awful, I'd be tempted to send a snarky response to monocle mum Wink

OrangeBlossomsinthesun · 03/03/2022 08:34

Wow what a load of cunts. What else is a class whatsapp group for, for crying out loud? I presume they all know about your bereavement too?

Thatsplentyjack · 03/03/2022 08:35

Yanbu. I would take too much offence from the ones who didn't reply, they probably have it on mute.
I would be patiently waiting for monocle mum to post a question so I could fine one right back at her.

Original poster
whatstheteamarie · 03/03/2022 08:36

Glad it's not just me.

It is quite a quiet group, so quite possible that some are on mute.

DC2s WhatsApp group pings all the time with questions like this; just wondered if it was different at senior school.

OP posts:
WTF475878237NC · 03/03/2022 08:36

That's really unkind. I'd like to see them have a bit of humility and compassion given your bereavement and you know, being a human and all.

Sorry for your loss. I'd leave the group!

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 03/03/2022 08:36

"Basically suggesting" nothing. It would never occur to me that's what the monocle means- do you know this mom? Is she an absolute arsehole? I'd use that for I don't know, or let me see, or confusion/suspicion if it was the right context. Never as good work it out yourself.

No idea why no one else answered

Wedonttalkaboutboris · 03/03/2022 08:37

Yanbu -

They sound awful. I’d write a short paragraph summarising what you’ve said to us here about struggling with having to juggle everything since your dh died suddenly and then perhaps leave the group!

Wedonttalkaboutboris · 03/03/2022 08:38

This

clarrylove · 03/03/2022 08:38

I wouldn't have interpreted that emoji in the way you have, just that she is seeking the info too.

Original poster
whatstheteamarie · 03/03/2022 08:38

Well, the monocle was put up left for a while and then deleted, so if it was a positive comment or someone also wanting the answer wouldn't they have left it up?

OP posts:
WTF475878237NC · 03/03/2022 08:40

Exactly. If it meant I'll look it up for you or I want to know too it wouldn't have been deleted.

Sportslady44 · 03/03/2022 08:40

What do they talk about then. Most of them are full of people sending memes or videos which is very boring.

TeenPlusCat · 03/03/2022 08:40

Your senior (do you mean secondary level?) has a class WhatsApp for parents?!?