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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sleazy creep or am I being unfair

150 replies

PrincessDani90 · 03/03/2022 05:58

Nothing says creep more than religiously 👍 or ❤️ my bikini selfies whilst you're quite obviously in a relationship with another woman... like away cos if you're that disrespectful to current GF why any better to me? Biggest turn off and creep-dar indicator in my eyes🤮 anyone else agree? Or am I wrong?

Different if he's a mate and gives the same attention to other stuff I post, but when he's in a relationship and quite obviously only reacting to photos that I've made an effort in (I am single!) and not to others with DC or DN&Ns for example. Just gives me the ick🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

Gonnagetgoing · 03/03/2022 11:40

You could also choose to ignore him and not block him...

It is him though that has the issue, not you. You're not coming onto him and he's chancing his luck.

PrincessNutella · 03/03/2022 11:45

Two things can be true at the same time. If you were at a beach and someone took a nice photo of you and you posted it and it was just sort of a natural thingmaybe it was a flattering photo or it was a nice memory or maybe you were with your friends, or you were escaping a giant shark, or there was some reason for itthat's one thing. But taking bikini selfies is a bit objectifying in my opinion. You can do it, but I wouldn't be surprised if some men felt as if they'd been given a signal that it's okay to comment. On the other hand, I would consider those kinds of men losers.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 03/03/2022 11:49

So you and others have labelled him a sleazy pervert even though you're not actually wearing a bikini and on "show". What's sleazy about liking a photo of someone covered up by a kaftan

Original poster

PrincessDani90 · 03/03/2022 12:00

Certainly more skin on show than in other pictures I post but not really revealing in any way. I don't post lots of pictures of myself. It is obvious he has only liked these ones in an album or group of photos but not the overall post iykwim if he had then I would not find it odd or creepy.

OP posts:

MRex · 03/03/2022 12:11

@PrincessDani90

Thanks for all the replies I haven't had a chance to read all as have work. Not in UK and warm enough for the beach! Not posting just me a bloody bikini constant, but I put up a mix of photos from days out etc and just used the bikini as example but only 2 photos on my social media of me in swimwear. One is a bikini with kaftan over the top and no cleavage at all as high necked. The other was a tankini again high necked that's my DSIS had sent me for my birthday which is why I took took the photo! It was just an example that he'd go through a selection and only react to certain ones. I don't have a beach body. Nothing I post is revealing and not confident at all to be all here's me and my bits😂 I stated I was single but I'm not interested in meeting anyone at all. I'm happy with my kids and my friends. I don't post for attention, I share with friends and family not on the same country or local and it's not revealing only fans type stuff if I did then I wouldn't and couldn't say much! It's friends family landscapes places of interest with rarely more than one selfie type headshot once every few weeks. But every single one he's on it. Bypasses photos of mutual friends that are included that he is closer to than I am. Always in a group of 5-10 photos of a day. I was going to block him but thought I'd ask on here first whether IABU

So rather than commenting on "bikini selfies" he has only actually "liked" 2 photos, neither of which are revealing. He hasn't commented on photos with small children who he doesn't know. Erm. It's tough to see where he went wrong actually, on this version. Can we get a version 3 to try again?

KindlyKanga · 03/03/2022 12:23

I was going to block him but thought I'd ask on here first whether IABU why? If you are uncomfortable with it that's enough to block him/remove from your friends list whatever. You don't need us to tell you what to do.

HangOnToYourself · 03/03/2022 12:31

@PrincessDani90

Nothing I post could be suggested as being sexy or revealing or suggestive. I do know him. We have met at events locally and we have mutual friends. I don't have anyone I don't know on RL on there

If that's the case how is he a creep for liking them 🤷‍♀️

KindlyKanga · 03/03/2022 12:32

Nothing I post could be suggested as being sexy or revealing or suggestive I too am not getting how he is creepy but it doesn't matter. If you aren't happy then you don't need to let him see your photos. He's not owed anything.

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 12:33

You presented this as a man perving over your bikini pictures but now it's not bikinis - you're completely covered up.

Maybe he thinks it's weird to like pictures of your children or your nieces and nephews but thinks you look nice in completely appropriate selfies?

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 12:36

My question is would a man posting topless face this level of scrutiny

The OP said he was creepy for liking her bikini pics - that's the equivalent of a man posting speedo selfies - which yes, would face the same level of scrutiny.

Now it's OP posting pictures fully clothed, which means he's not being particularly strange. If OP feels uncomfortable with his attention she should block him, but it's not fair to accuse him of being creepy really.

Lockheart · 03/03/2022 12:55

If it's not slutty to post then it's not sleazy to like. That's my rule anyway.

Parpophone · 03/03/2022 13:43

@PrincessDani90

My first post wasn't clear and didn't give enough information.

There was enough information.

You don't like the answers you are getting so you have significantly changed the story.

"My bikini selfies" plural has now changed to "completely covered in a kaftan" and "a high necked tankini" (whatever on earth that is!)

FlasherMcGruff · 03/03/2022 13:53

Throw bones, attract dogs.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2022 15:34

That’s a 180 if ever I saw one. I can see the skid marks from here.

DrSbaitso · 03/03/2022 15:38

It's almost as if it's a load of old cobblers.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2022 16:02

@AnyFucker

That’s a 180 if ever I saw one. I can see the skid marks from here.

Are you zooming in on her bikini? 🤣🤣

steff13 · 03/03/2022 16:32

The point of posting photos is for other people to see them. Those people might "like" them. Nothing wrong with either of those things. If you feel uncomfortable with it, block him.

I am wondering about this statement:

like away cos if you're that disrespectful to current GF why any better to me

Do you think he's trying to pursue a relationship with you?

Movinghouseatlast · 03/03/2022 16:35

Jesus. Isn't a bikini selfie a bit like a dick pic?

What do you want from these pictures, what is the impact you want to have? Men wanking over pictures of you? Because that's what they will be doing.

DrSbaitso · 03/03/2022 16:42

Jesus. Isn't a bikini selfie a bit like a dick pic?

What? Do you not see the difference between beachwear and exposed genitalia?

AnyFucker · 03/03/2022 17:04

Are you zooming in on her bikini?

Not a mental picture I am enjoying right now

HangOnToYourself · 03/03/2022 17:14

Are you zooming in on her bikini?

Snigger

Movinghouseatlast · 03/03/2022 19:59

The message of beachwear and exposed genitalia is the same in the context of posting selfies on Instagram I would say.

DrSbaitso · 03/03/2022 20:01

@Movinghouseatlast

The message of beachwear and exposed genitalia is the same in the context of posting selfies on Instagram I would say.

Why would Instagram make an obscene image out of a picture of a woman in swimwear?

didshedidntshe · 04/03/2022 13:57

Okay question, to the people here who don't understand bikini selfies (and some who think they're the same as dick pics lol) would you reaction be the same if it was a bikini pic, but not a selfie? Like say, me on the beach in a bikini?

Same360 · 30/03/2022 14:32

If they’re not at all revealing or sexy then what’s the problem with him liking them?

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