Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleazy creep or am I being unfair

150 replies

PrincessDani90 · 03/03/2022 05:58

Nothing says creep more than religiously 👍 or ❤️ my bikini selfies whilst you're quite obviously in a relationship with another woman... like away cos if you're that disrespectful to current GF why any better to me? Biggest turn off and creep-dar indicator in my eyes🤮 anyone else agree? Or am I wrong?

Different if he's a mate and gives the same attention to other stuff I post, but when he's in a relationship and quite obviously only reacting to photos that I've made an effort in (I am single!) and not to others with DC or DN&Ns for example. Just gives me the ick🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
wingscrow · 03/03/2022 07:35

Yes, that's creepy.

But why do you feel the need to post several 'bikini selfies'?

I assume the aim is that you want people to like/comment on them? If you don't like men doing so then stop the selfies...

and you can simply block any guy who creeps you out.

I just sounds a bit like attention-seeking to me...

WizardOfAus · 03/03/2022 07:37

Is this a serious thread?

Etinoxaurus · 03/03/2022 07:39

I posted a picture of me looking fab in a bikini on Facebook. Got loads of likes. Grin
However I’m 53 and my friends list is 93% female. Apart from my husband not one of the 20 males I have on fb reacted.
Framing it in a shark cage rather victim blaming way, here are these are the factors I took into account when posting it.
•my SM is completely locked down.
•I’m manifestly not single all my SM posts are about politics, VAWG and my family.
•the focus of the picture was wild swimming, not my body.
•as above, it wasn’t a Selfie

The shark cage I mentioned above is a dv framing. Many women say things like ‘it’s like I’ve got a sign on my head’ as abusers (and a sleaze bag is an abuser in training IMO) can spot them.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

TulipsGarden · 03/03/2022 07:39

What does it matter? Block him if you don't want him to see you, ignore him if you actually don't mind. He's in a relationship so him giving you the ick is neither here nor there.

KindlyKanga · 03/03/2022 07:43

What is it you were hoping for when you posted the picture?

Strugglingtodomybest · 03/03/2022 07:49

Yes, it's sleazy.

Out of interest, what do you mean by:
like away cos if you're that disrespectful to current GF why any better to me?

Is it etiquette now that if you 'like' a photo it means you want to go out with the person whose photo it is? In which case, I'm in serious trouble!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/03/2022 07:49

Hmm. Some of the responses here are verging on victim blamey. Would you all be blaming a woman for dressing a certain way if a man was harassing a woman in a street?

Man in relationship likes photo of woman in bikini and it's the woman's fault for wanting "attention".

MissTrip82 · 03/03/2022 07:51

Why is it creepy? You're not posting them to give men their jollies.

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 07:53

@Waxonwaxoff0

Hmm. Some of the responses here are verging on victim blamey. Would you all be blaming a woman for dressing a certain way if a man was harassing a woman in a street?

Man in relationship likes photo of woman in bikini and it's the woman's fault for wanting "attention".

Is the whole point of posting on social media not for attention?

If she doesn't like him liking her pictures she can block or delete him. She's not a victim here so it's not victim blaming.

ElsieLappin · 03/03/2022 07:54

Perhaps he is just replying to you as a mate? IMO you are doing single people a disservice to read anything else into it if other friends are doing the same
You can choose what you post and they can choose how they react. That's SM for you

KindlyKanga · 03/03/2022 07:55

@Waxonwaxoff0

Hmm. Some of the responses here are verging on victim blamey. Would you all be blaming a woman for dressing a certain way if a man was harassing a woman in a street?

Man in relationship likes photo of woman in bikini and it's the woman's fault for wanting "attention".

But she wants the likes? It's just a bit confusing what OP wants. Likes but only from certain people?
MRex · 03/03/2022 08:00

@Waxonwaxoff0

Hmm. Some of the responses here are verging on victim blamey. Would you all be blaming a woman for dressing a certain way if a man was harassing a woman in a street?

Man in relationship likes photo of woman in bikini and it's the woman's fault for wanting "attention".

Can you not spot any difference between:
  1. wearing few clothes at a pool / beach, and
  2. posting photos wearing few clothes.
Mummytobe93 · 03/03/2022 08:01

It’s similar to another thread where OP was concerned about one of the “school dads” watching her Instastories.

Honestly, the internet is full of horrible horrible things, sleazy predators etc. Someone leaving a thumb up or a heart emoji isn’t really that bad.

If you’re worried about it, set your profile as private. If it remains public then you have to come to terms with the fact that millions of people can view it and some might leave a comment.

devildeepbluesea · 03/03/2022 08:02

@burnthur5t

Wants attention, gets attention, complains
😂😂😂 nail on head.
bonfireheart · 03/03/2022 08:02

It's only "victim blaming" if there's a victim involved. Not sure what OP is a victim of?

KrisAkabusi · 03/03/2022 08:03

@Waxonwaxoff0

Hmm. Some of the responses here are verging on victim blamey. Would you all be blaming a woman for dressing a certain way if a man was harassing a woman in a street?

Man in relationship likes photo of woman in bikini and it's the woman's fault for wanting "attention".

But it's not harassment. The only reason for putting a photo of yourself on Instagram is to get likes. By liking her photos, people are reacting in the way the OP wants. She just doesn't like some of the people doing it. And she has the choice of stopping them, but nowhere has she said she's doing that.
Cakelover17 · 03/03/2022 08:04

@Waxonwaxoff0

Hmm. Some of the responses here are verging on victim blamey. Would you all be blaming a woman for dressing a certain way if a man was harassing a woman in a street?

Man in relationship likes photo of woman in bikini and it's the woman's fault for wanting "attention".

Oh give over, there is no victim. Or anyone to ‘blame’ for the actual liking of pics, woman posts half naked pics of self on a social media platform to attract likes, she isn’t a victim. The guy is free to like whatever he wants, he’s not harassing her and it’s the whole point of pics on social media. People are taking issue with the woman then coming on here to bitch and moan about this guy liking her pics when she is totally in control of what she posts and who can see it. She wouldn’t be able to control it if she was walking down the street half naked, and he wouldn’t be able to ‘like’ her picture if it wasn’t online, so it isn’t the same thing.
NETSRIK · 03/03/2022 08:05

@burnthur5t

Wants attention, gets attention, complains
👆
DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 03/03/2022 08:09

but when he's in a relationship and quite obviously only reacting to photos that I've made an effort in (I am single!)

So you are posting to attract attention because you want men to drool over your bikini pics because you are single - as stated.

Is it like publicity, no publicity is bad publicity?

You're advertising yourself - blatantly stated in your OP.

You are going to attract unwanted/wanted attention.

suckingonchillidogs · 03/03/2022 08:12

I get you OP - sometimes I post on here and some utter tosser replies to me, what the hell's that about?

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 08:13

OP, bit of advice:

Generally men worth attracting aren't already on your Facebook friends list and will be attracted to you without bikini photos.

I say this kindly because you mention that you're single so it sounds like you're looking for a certain kind of attention - apologies if I've misunderstood. If you're posting them solely because they make you feel good then fair enough.

Thewindwhispers · 03/03/2022 08:19

Posting bikini selfies online then complaining about creeps is a bit like putting a fishing net in water then complaining that it caught fish.

I’m not saying don’t wear a bikini, but why do you have to post selfies of yourself in it?! 🤣

queenMab99 · 03/03/2022 08:24

I would think he was posting because he felt sorry for you, being so desperate.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/03/2022 08:31

OP isn't a victim of course. But it's telling that so many people are ripping into her for daring to show body parts on social media. MN is so weird about this kind of thing.

TheBareTree · 03/03/2022 08:32

I genuinely don’t understand this. Why do you post bikini selfies if you don’t want people to like them. What’s the point?

Swipe left for the next trending thread