Dreading upcoming holiday, so want to cancel but family will be disappointed

[Sleepescapesme]

We’ve had a holiday to New York booked for over 2 years now.
It’s repeatedly been moved forward due to covid and we are now due to go Easter weekend.
When we booked originally ‘kids’ were 18 and 16 so it was the final big trip before they flew the nest into uni etc.
They are now 21 and nearly 19 so things have changed a bit but they still seem keen to go.
All trip admin is down to me to organise- no point in asking DH to do anything except pay as he wouldn’t have a clue and I’d never relax.
I’ve had to sort estas, insurance, we have to have a supervised covid test in the 24 hour window before we leave, everything is pricey, car parking etc.
All this organisation is stressing me out and I’m not looking forward to it at all.
I keep reading how crime ridden NYC has become, the war in Ukraine has me worried me closer to home our dog is now elderly and she’s not going to be gear left with the dog sitter like she may have been 2 plus years ago.
Final payment time is looming, we’ve already dropped around 1k on deposit and NYV passes / insurance/ estas.
I want to cancel so much, I have no interest in going whatsoever but I know DH and DD especially will be really disappointed. It’s not up to me to decide to pull the rug on a family trip.
WWYD?

@Landedonfeet

Feb 22 San Diego

This applies as per gov website

* Before boarding a flight to the USA, most passengers - regardless of vaccination status - are required to show a negative COVID-19 test result taken no more than 1 day before travel. *

Then you were very lucky because as per the gov website further information can be found on the US CDC website which I linked and it clearly says supervised. The CDC information trumps our FO @Landonfeet and the UK link clearly says that you should check

Which provider did you use that meant they didnt watch you take the test? (Then uploading a picture of the test at the end before sending through a certificate) and what airline let you do so. It is shoddy by the airline to let you travel (the US relies on the airline to check)

I say go .. I just got back from a holiday .. I was super stressed and really didn't want to go ... but I had a great time

All the holiday admin is pretty daunting, because much of it is new - all the COVID stuff certainly. We got back from a holiday today, where LOTS of prep was needed. Had to have COVID test done where the sample is taken for you, and that result (plus vax status proof) had to be uploaded on that country's app. Had to fill in a customs declaration on line. Researched insurance policies covering pre-existing conditions, whilst checking out the COVID cover. Had to make arrangements for the kids to be looked after. Dog to sitter. Airport transfers arranged. New clothes bought to accommodate the post-lockdown extra pounds. Pack for me & DH.... the list is almost endless.

Reason I'm telling you this - it was SO worth it!! Once there, I forgot all about the ag & faff of getting there, and just had the most incredible time. I felt like you beforehand, but am so glad I did not cancel.

Realistically, this could be your last holiday with your DC... go and have a wonderful time

Just go. Seriously - I live near New York, in Philly. Crime is everywhere - my son found a .45 casing on the corner of our block last week, and we have a crack house on the corner. The parts of New York you would be staying in as tourists are not going to be like that. Don't sweat it. Yes, booking is a pain and so many reasons to prefer to stay home, but you promised your kids and they are excited. They likely looked forward to it throughout the last miserable years.

Life is short. Spend quality family time. Make memories with those kids.

@Sleepescapesme

Yes, I keep waking at 2-3am worrying about it all. I’d gladly cancel at this very minute and go back to sleep relaxed. DS has covid at the moment too so we are all awaiting to see whether the rest of us catch it too which isn’t helping. I’m going to have a chat with them all tomorrow. I know DH will be pissed off but I’d rather have a few days of him sulking.

I’ve often felt like this about holidays recently. Like I couldn’t be bothered going.

Some of the ones I’ve dreaded most have been the happiest once I’ve gone.

Im heading to NYC in May, this was our delayed trip from last July. We have been to NYC before as a couple and then with the kids (then 16/17). NYC is amazing and if you cancel you will regret it! Try not to think of the crime rate there is crim in every city. New Yorkers are so friendly and helpful and there is so much to see and do. You are going to love it. Just think as your kids like mine are older, they might not want to go on holiday any more with the parents. Enjoy yourselves and have fun!

I never really want to go on holiday but always enjoy it once I escape work x

It’s not much admin and it will be great fun. Live a little! Go.

@Landedonfeet

Feb 22 San Diego

This applies as per gov website

* Before boarding a flight to the USA, most passengers - regardless of vaccination status - are required to show a negative COVID-19 test result taken no more than 1 day before travel. *

It 100% does need to be supervised - I travel to the US every other week and have seen people turned away at check in because they had an unsupervised test result, and Verifly won't accept a certificate that does not show supervision. But you can be supervised on video - I use Klarity, which does exactly that.

www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/travelers/testing-international-air-travelers.html#anchor_1635127081

Wouldn't bother with NY, its heyday has long passed. Chicago is much better.

You are not being unreasonable. Your situation is similar to mine when I booked our trip to the USA last November. I had to do everything on line as my husband is not computer literate. Booking flights, ESTAS, insurance, tests etc. it was a stressful nightmare. We too have an elderly dog who I thought might not survive kennels, but I knew how disappointed my son and my grandchildren, who we were visiting, would be if we cancelled. So we went, and had a wonderful memorable holiday (and the testing regulations changed while we were there too). Do go, you’ve done all the hard work now. Once your sitting on that plane you will know it was all worth while. And our dog was fine too.

Please go! New York is an amazing city. There might be crime, but no more than any other major city. There is a huge police presence in New York and they want tourists to feel safe. I really hope you don't cancel because of the admin. You and your family will have a great time 😁

I get like this before every family holiday. I stress about everything, often playing out ridiculous disasters in my mind (lost/wrong passports, wrong airport etc). I can't relax until I'm on the plane (once I'm sure we're going to the right destination!).
Once I'm there it's like a huge weight off my shoulders.
Write yourself a list with all the things to do then take great joy in ticking everything off. Then go and enjoy your break.

I hope you have a wonderful time . I love NY best city in the world. Come back snd tell us all about it💐💐💐

Have you considered staying at home yourself with your dog and the family going without you? You sound stressed and like you just need some quiet time.

I had the same fear as you! We've just been to Barbados and they have their own app that you have to download everything on to. I got myself in a right pickle about it all but my 15 year old daughter did it all for me. She filled out all the forms and downloaded the pcr results onto the app so when we arrived we were just waved through as it was all on the app. I don't know what I'd have done without her! Bloody husband was useless!
For the first time in my life I was glad that she knew how to do all this stuff on a phone.
I'm sure your two kids will think it's a doddle and wonder why you are worrying about it.

Go and enjoy!

I am absolutely with you, OP. My husband wants to do an Oz trip (he has been several times before) but I spent my working life travelling and have really no desire to go (unless I could be beamed up and plonked there without the hassle of travelling). Plus, I would be desperately unhappy about leaving my three dogs in case anything happened to them while I was away, as it did to a friend's cat when she was in NZ. I feel I may seem a bit bonkers to see things this way but I can't help but feel anxious.

Let them go without you? They're all grownups. They can do it.

Hi go and have fun. You’ll be ok when you’re all booked in. By the way are you in your early 50s? I have menopausal stress about things which I woul have taken in my stride a few ago.

I lost my 19yo son a month ago, his death was completely unexpected. One of the few things that keeps me going is the memory of family holidays and “dream trips”. Life is short. You never know what’s around the corner. Yes it’s a pain to organise but those memories are priceless. And NY really isn’t that crime-ridden, I’ve ridden the subway at 3am on my own and felt perfectly safe. Go, enjoy, take a million photos and treasure every minute.

I've been to NYC and although it was quite a long time ago I think if you stick to the tourist areas you'd be fine. Have you tried sharing how you feel with DH or your now adult kids?

@NarkyNarwhal

I don’t know what to say, I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. I am trying my best to pull myself together and get excited. I definitely won’t cancel as you are right, time spent with my loved ones is precious and it may be something we wont do again.

I’ve asked DH to sort the car parking, DS and DD have been tasked with thinking places they want to visit and making a rough schedule.

I’ll book the supervised LFTs and get the verifly app downloaded. I’ll get there, I’m sure it’ll be worth it

May be let your kids go on their own? NYC is fun for young people.

Have an amazing time, I’m so glad you’re going xx