Dreading upcoming holiday, so want to cancel but family will be disappointed

[Sleepescapesme]

We’ve had a holiday to New York booked for over 2 years now.
It’s repeatedly been moved forward due to covid and we are now due to go Easter weekend.
When we booked originally ‘kids’ were 18 and 16 so it was the final big trip before they flew the nest into uni etc.
They are now 21 and nearly 19 so things have changed a bit but they still seem keen to go.
All trip admin is down to me to organise- no point in asking DH to do anything except pay as he wouldn’t have a clue and I’d never relax.
I’ve had to sort estas, insurance, we have to have a supervised covid test in the 24 hour window before we leave, everything is pricey, car parking etc.
All this organisation is stressing me out and I’m not looking forward to it at all.
I keep reading how crime ridden NYC has become, the war in Ukraine has me worried me closer to home our dog is now elderly and she’s not going to be gear left with the dog sitter like she may have been 2 plus years ago.
Final payment time is looming, we’ve already dropped around 1k on deposit and NYV passes / insurance/ estas.
I want to cancel so much, I have no interest in going whatsoever but I know DH and DD especially will be really disappointed. It’s not up to me to decide to pull the rug on a family trip.
WWYD?

I'm a Brit who has been living in NYC for the past 15 months.

The ways the Newspapers bang on out about it you'd imagine it is some kind of anarchic hell hole right now! It's not - NYC is still here, and it's a great city, and so long as you're careful and sensible you'll likely be fine (for example, watching for pickpockets, don't ride the subway alone at 3am etc.) I've also spent many years living in London, Hong Kong and Tokyo and don't feel that much more unsafe here than I did in London, and I live in a part of Brooklyn traditionally considered "the hood". Areas like Times Square and midtown can be a wee bit dodgy, and there is a big problem with homelessness and mental illness, especially on the subway, but for the most part if you mind your own business people won't bother you.

There is a lot to do here, it is great fun, and I think your sons would love it here. And it doesn't need to be stressful - perfectly possible to have a relaxing time here - leisurely brunch and people watching, stroll in the park, even enjoy a Korean spa etc.

One thing I will say is that it is significantly more expensive than London or Tokyo (my supermarket spending is 3x what it was in London) and eating out, too - especially when you factor in the essentially obligatory 20% tip.

After the pandemic and now what is happening with Ukraine, I have personally resolved to grab chances when they come along because you never know when you might NOT be able to travel or whatever for another year or two.

Good luck OP, hope you can destress soon!

Hi OP. Just jumping on here to say I completely understand how you feel. We went to Florida earlier this year to visit family and I was soooo stressed out beforehand with everything I had to organise plus worrying about one of us catching covid beforehand. Had it not been for the fact we were visiting family I would've tried to cancel as it all just felt so overwhelming. Guidelines kept changing too so I was continuously trying to keep up to date and amend tests etc.

What I will say though is the tests we did the day before via video call were super easy and it was all very straightforward and organised at the airport. Once we were there it was fine and we had a great time.
I just wanted to reassure you that it worked out well for us in the end, however, I completely appreciate how you probably feel right now.
Have a great time if you manage to go!

@Sleepescapesme don't get too stressed about having an itinerary, I went to NY almost 20 years ago with no set itinerary and had a great time. as long as you see the main sites, empire states building, times square, central park, Ellis Island and statue of liberty. just take each day as it comes and you'll find lots to do. shopping is great, macys, blooming dales etc. your teens will definitely love the shopping. We used the subway everyday and found it completely safe and didn't witness any crime anywhere. I completely understand your stress and anxiety though as I'm like this now too as I've got older, so much so that it can rule my life if I let it. please go and you'll be glad you did and will wonder what all the worrying was about. Tell your family how stressful you are finding it all and ask for their support in preparing for the holiday. just think, do you rule your thoughts or do your thoughts rule you? sounds like your thoughts and anxieties are ruling you on this occasion which could make you miss out on the holiday of a lifetime.

I assume you're talking about parking your British car, not about parking a car in NYC, right?

Kids that age should be helping plan, there must be things in New York they want to do. Give them a day each to come up with suggestions that are practical, ie you can get there, not massively expensive, that everyone can do, everyone picks food for an evening, etc, ask them if there should be a day off everyone does their own thing. Tell your dh if he hasn’t organised it he’s not allowed to sulk, either because you’re stressed or because he doesn’t like the plans.

New York is a fantastic city and - if you stay in tourist areas in Manhattan it’s as safe as any big city.

If it helps, we're going at the same time as you and I've been advised to wait to book the covid tests as the rules may change by then

Took my DS16 to NYC at half term with my DH and we had a blast. It was relatively quiet, we did not experience crime, though there was plenty happening in the city, as there is in any big city. There were lots of men begging on the subway, but only 2 eye popping events. Having said that, we live in London so it’s all relative really. No one was rude, service was consistently excellent everywhere, and even JFK arrival was better than I’ve experienced before.
The admin was a ballache. No getting away from that. If you go, I hope you have as good a time as we did.

It’s your last family holiday. Your kids are still keen to go! Which is a great thing and you are very fortunate. It’s just all this drama with tests and stuff stressing you. Foreign travel is just a minefield atm. I’ve had 3 sleepless nights this week because my son is going skiing with his school just worrying about random stuff.

Go OP you’ll love it and it’ll be a great memory for your kids at that age and something you will prob never repeat.

On a side note … was anyone shocked at JFK airport? Like going back to the 80s! We’ve been spoilt with gatwick and Heathrow … and prob most of the other major airports in the UK.

Also we've bought a 3 day New York Pass. It covers hundreds of attractions and let's you queue jump. It's an app you download onto your phone so no having to have tickets on you. One thing though I spoke to a colleague who went a few weeks ago and she said between using her phone for the pass and to show your vaccination status everywhere her battery was going down quirw quickly so I've invested in a power bank so I can charge on the go.

@Witchcraftandhokum

Also we've bought a 3 day New York Pass. It covers hundreds of attractions and let's you queue jump. It's an app you download onto your phone so no having to have tickets on you. One thing though I spoke to a colleague who went a few weeks ago and she said between using her phone for the pass and to show your vaccination status everywhere her battery was going down quirw quickly so I've invested in a power bank so I can charge on the go.

You’ll also need to show ID with your vacc status (if the requirement is still in force when you go), so take your photo driving licence too. Preferable to taking your passport everywhere.

I actually went to NY with my parents when my sister and I were 19/21 and it was really special, we still talk about it 20 years later. My mum and I both suffer very badly with anxiety and it's quite bad around travel. I've travelled lots and pretty much every time have thought about just not going the closer the trip gets. Try and talk to someone about it if you can - it might not be the trip that's the issue, it does sound like you're anxious and you can get help with that. It's been a tough two years but try and imagine all the things you will see and the family time

Ffs get a grip OP. It's hardly a lot of admin. I am an expat and I flew with my family to my home country (North America) three times during this pandemic. It's really not a big deal. In fact it was better as airport was quiet and so were some of the flights we took.

New York is great. I'd be more afraid of being the victim of a crime in London than New York. the last time we went we were there for almost a month. We made the most of every day and even then didn't get to see/do everything. Travel is stressful - more so now with Covid etc. But go. It is a great city. And there is lots to do that's free - the Statan Island Ferry for example. Just walking around is an experience. My son was 10 on our last trip and we did our own Ghostbusters and Home Alone tours.

We have all got unused to travelling due to Covid. Reluctance is understandable, but go anyway if you have never been. You will not regret it.

I liked Greenwich Village and Central Park; but when I went the Northern part of the park was occupied by down-and-outs and litter, possibly quite different now.