People who tuck in before everyone is served - rude?

[SarahAndQuack]

Say you have family/friends over and you are cooking a meal for, say, 8 or 10 people - enough that it takes a bit of time to get on the table. Either you dish it up on plates and pass them out, or you serve everyone at table - you do guests first, of course. Guests tuck in straight away, while everyone else is still being served.

Is that rude?

I was brought up to think you wait for everyone to be served, if it's a sit-down meal.

What do you think?

Yes it's so rude, you wait for the host who spent all that time cooking for you to be seated - it just comes across as ungrateful. Unless of course the host encouraged you to dig in!

Terrible, I often cook, literally 4 or 5 hours for my inlaws / extended family (usually about 16 people).

I'm sick of cooking it to perfection, timing it so everything comes out simultaneously with hot plates and serving dishes, and sitting down to find I sometimes don't even get a share.

@Comefromaway

It would never occur to me to wait. We were always brought up to start eating straight away so you were eating the food at its best.

This is incredibly rude. And with a bs excuse to try to justify being rude.

Yes it's rude to start eating before everyone has been served.. and why I make sure FIL is always the last to get his Christmas dinner. He'd have wolfed the lot down before I'd finished serving if I didn't.
My mum always insisted on table manners and waiting for everyone to be served was a biggie.

I wait. It's rude to start eating before everyone has been served.

I'd always say start don't wait as I'm serving and I think most hosts I've eaten with would as well.

Yes, it’s rude. So greedy.

If we’re talking accepted social norms - yes it’s rude.

My understanding is this filtered down over a long time from the upper class and waiting was only for cold food, not hot.

Either way, I think people who don’t wait are rude.

@ofwarren

Why does it matter? I wouldn't even notice. Just eat when you have got your food.

To me it matters because I'd expect people to be polite and I feel cross when people aren't!

Practically, it matters because it means there's no sociable element to a meal - if everyone's first priority is shovelling food down asap, why bother asking for a sit-down meal? You don't get a chance to chat as the people who sat down first soon get up again to take seconds.

With a hot neap, the only person you want for is the Queen, otherwise you are being rude to the cook

I urge guests to start eating before it goes cold and have never dined with anyone else where that wasn’t also said.

But I never cook for anyone but good friends and therefore I’m really not offended by whatever they choose to do.

Neap?? Meal

I'd always wait for everyone to have their food - same as when dining out as a group but if I'm the one waiting for a meal I'd always encourage others to start.

Once I was at a work function - 10 to a table and one lady sent her meal back as not cooked how she would like. We all waited and looked at each other nervously. Nobody wanted to be the first to tuck in while she had no food. I was willing her to tell us not to wait for her but she bloody didn't and we all had stone cold food by the time her meal reappeared.

I really couldn't give a shit and can't say that I'd notice. I'd probably tell people to start eating though because I wouldn't want my friends sitting around waiting.

I'm baffled this would be an issue!

@FixTheBone

Terrible, I often cook, literally 4 or 5 hours for my inlaws / extended family (usually about 16 people).

I'm sick of cooking it to perfection, timing it so everything comes out simultaneously with hot plates and serving dishes, and sitting down to find I sometimes don't even get a share.

Well that is definitely rude - I'd ask (order) someone to plate yours up for you while you are busy serving.

Honestly, if I had time to say 'please start in while it's hot,' I would.

But often, we are literally talking about passing out eight plates of food, on heated plates. If the plates are too hot, I'll be told the food isn't right because it needs to cool, so this is clearly not about catering to people who like their meals piping hot.

Wait. Obviously wait.

Always wait. However if I’m say at a restaurant and still waiting on my food I always get others to eat.
DH always cites Footermans rule which is that once two or more are served you may begin to eat.

Sorry, futterman for footerman.

I dont know how rude it is to start. It is incredibly awkward to be the one sat waiting to be served and having people with plates in front of them sat waiting! Id urge people to start!

I honestly couldn't care less. I probably wait for most people to start eating, but it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if I was still waiting on my food and someone started eating theirs. Sure what's the point in it sitting getting cold!

It is rude yes. Host tells all to dig in etc then that’s fine.

Some people don’t know any better though, if they weren’t brought up knowing that then how would they know? Just totally oblivious to it.

On business lunches or out with friends I find it such bad manners to start when everyone hasn’t received their meal, if the people waiting say dig in then it’s fine to do so.

Proper etiquette is to wait unless the host indicates other.

Shoveling in while others have no food is uncouth to say the least.

I read an article recently, can’t remember where, that said that in fact correct etiquette is to start eating immediately as it’s considered ruder to allow your food to get cold. It’s probably a class thing from the olden days but I’d rather people ate their food hot and enjoyed it. I was brought up to wait till everyone could start which seems more polite but does indeed mean cold food sometimes.

In my household we pray prior to dishing up. I can't imagine just expecting people to wait around. It's not greedy to eat the food you're being given, blimey.