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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jo Malone candles and MIL.

448 replies

Flatdeadfrog · 02/03/2022 19:34

I've name changed as details are a little bit outing as I've talked to friends about this.

My MIL is a bit of a scented candle aficionado and can be a bit precious about the types of scented candles she'll have in the house. That's fair enough, as you like what you like. BUT for mothers day, she has specified she wants a new scented candle for her hall.

DH likes to oblige his mum as she's actually lovely, but his default is to just buy an expensive Jo Malone candle. We don't actually have a Jo Malone budget, as we are feeling the pinch as I am on maternity leave and we're struggling a bit financially because of it.

DH and I have had an argument about it tonight, as I feel that MIL would be upset to think that we're spending our weekly food budget on an expensive candle (and frankly I think it's a waste), but DH really wants to get something nice for his mum. MIL loves scented candles, but something cheaper like a Yankee candle would just be shoved to the back of the cupboard.

AIBU to think MIL can do without a candle this year? Or can anybody recommend anything nice scent/candle wise that wouldn't get wasted like a Yankee candle would?

MIL is lovely, she would be appalled at the idea we'd spent our weekly food shop on a candle, but DH can't see past getting his mum a gift for mothers day and getting what she's asked for.

OP posts:
Mistressiggi · 02/03/2022 21:06

So what is the budget for your mil, OP?
I am getting the sense the answer might be £0!

KindlyKanga · 02/03/2022 21:07

@LottyD32

Get her a candle holder or a snuff instead.
Good idea
Verbena87 · 02/03/2022 21:07

My lovely mother in law once bought me a Jo malone candle and I felt awful about it as it wasn’t nearly nice enough to justify the price! What about some lovely essential oils she can diffuse? Bergamot has a lovely zesty fresh complex smell I think (I chuck some in the shower tray while I wash my hair in the morning and it wakes me up).

Lanascz · 02/03/2022 21:08

This was the company I liked when someone sent me one (I had Peak Forest, I think) - they do a Mother's Day set for £15 www.peakdistrictcandles.com/products/mini-candle-gift-set

Frollop · 02/03/2022 21:08

Loccitaine have a small charity candle for £8 smells of vanilla if she likes that scent. Could get flowers too.

yoyo1234 · 02/03/2022 21:09

"Why can't people just talk to one another?

OP to husband: we can't seriously spend a week's food money on a Mother's Day present.

Husband to his mother: Sorry, Mum, but money's tight this year. I love you just the same, though, and here's (insert nice, thoughtful thing that doesn't cost the earth). Big hug.

The End."

That is perfect, though sometimes even when you try to do something similar to above it doesn't work, you're basically told no you still have to exchange countless gifts even when you're struggling to feed/clothe a baby/child.

Libertybear80 · 02/03/2022 21:10

Just off to check out Aldi candles 😁

RumJerrySailorRum · 02/03/2022 21:11

Partylite are lovely candles for future gift buying reference.

Also, Oliver Drew.

But, as every one else has said, TK Maxx and Homesense are your best bet. Loads of beautiful scents and jars.

Try the clearance section first.

HelloDulling · 02/03/2022 21:12

I like expensive candles, and would give a Yankee or an Aldi dupe to the charity shop.

I would love a White Co candle, and if she likes the froo-froo of the box etc from Jo Malone, the carrier bag and tissue is nice from White Co too.

Alternatively, TK Maxx had some wonderful Aromatherapy Associates ones this week, which have the most incredible throw.

Cleanbedlinen12 · 02/03/2022 21:12

Umm. Could you get a nice, less ridiculously expensive candle and make your own label? Dh could draw hearts all over it or something?

KindlyKanga · 02/03/2022 21:12

Oh the hotel chocolat one smells lovely

user1493494961 · 02/03/2022 21:13

Home Bargains sell a Lime, Basil and Mandarin and also a Pomegranate. They're very similar to Jo Malone (I can't tell the difference).

Original poster
Flatdeadfrog · 02/03/2022 21:13

@Verbena87

My lovely mother in law once bought me a Jo malone candle and I felt awful about it as it wasn’t nearly nice enough to justify the price! What about some lovely essential oils she can diffuse? Bergamot has a lovely zesty fresh complex smell I think (I chuck some in the shower tray while I wash my hair in the morning and it wakes me up).
She can't use essential oils as she has a kamikaze Bengal cat who is slightly bonkers and would tip it over and get it on his fur. which he's already done

DH is adamant we get MIL a candle. What the fuck is wrong with a bunch of flowers and a card is beyond me.

OP posts:
GADDay · 02/03/2022 21:14

I love candles and have started making my own. Would a candle making kit be a better investment for a birthday or christmas present. Box of thorntons for mother's day?

Purpleheadgirl · 02/03/2022 21:14

Try a candle making set so something for her to do as well

Original poster
Flatdeadfrog · 02/03/2022 21:14

@Mistressiggi

So what is the budget for your mil, OP? I am getting the sense the answer might be £0!
Yep, that's pretty much it! Except DH likes to flash the cash where his mother is concerned. Don't get me started on the expensive spa break he booked her for her 60th!
OP posts:
HELLITHURT · 02/03/2022 21:15

Do not buy a cheaper candle or essential oils etc, just give her a bunch of daffs and a photo of your DC!

Honestly, it's just a bloody token gift.

nikkimoonface · 02/03/2022 21:17

Try one of these. I got one as a present, absolutely gorgeous and great value for money if you get the gift box option.

valentte.com/organic/home-fragrance-gift-box/#configuration

Mynameisnew · 02/03/2022 21:19

There are some on ebay at the moment

KindlyKanga · 02/03/2022 21:20

What's he getting you?

MissJanetifyonasty · 02/03/2022 21:23

Interesting topic of conversation. I love candles and anything scented. Have you tried a company called The Wicked Elk. I now buy my wax melts from them which are A-MAZ-ING. Believe me when I say…… I’ve tried many. But these are by far the best I have ever bought. Their candles look like they make perfect gifts but no-ones got me one yet. Hint-hint 😜

Anyway, worth a look.

Good luck in your search 🧐

Mistressiggi · 02/03/2022 21:25

I don't think a man wanting to buy nice things for his mother is anything to be annoyed about. Of course we don't know your financial situation - if you are on the breadline that's different. But wanting to show his mum his appreciation of her, that's not a negative.

colette1970 · 02/03/2022 21:26

Ebay loads on there that are a lot cheaper than buying in shops etc

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