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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jo Malone candles and MIL.

448 replies

Flatdeadfrog · 02/03/2022 19:34

I've name changed as details are a little bit outing as I've talked to friends about this.

My MIL is a bit of a scented candle aficionado and can be a bit precious about the types of scented candles she'll have in the house. That's fair enough, as you like what you like. BUT for mothers day, she has specified she wants a new scented candle for her hall.

DH likes to oblige his mum as she's actually lovely, but his default is to just buy an expensive Jo Malone candle. We don't actually have a Jo Malone budget, as we are feeling the pinch as I am on maternity leave and we're struggling a bit financially because of it.

DH and I have had an argument about it tonight, as I feel that MIL would be upset to think that we're spending our weekly food budget on an expensive candle (and frankly I think it's a waste), but DH really wants to get something nice for his mum. MIL loves scented candles, but something cheaper like a Yankee candle would just be shoved to the back of the cupboard.

AIBU to think MIL can do without a candle this year? Or can anybody recommend anything nice scent/candle wise that wouldn't get wasted like a Yankee candle would?

MIL is lovely, she would be appalled at the idea we'd spent our weekly food shop on a candle, but DH can't see past getting his mum a gift for mothers day and getting what she's asked for.

OP posts:
Frollop · 02/03/2022 20:49

I think a high end price candle can be like a high end bag to some people. Therefore I wouldn't get them an Aldi candle if they desire a Jo Malone etc.

VivaJen · 02/03/2022 20:50

So she has asked for a candle but it sounds like she didn't specifically ask for JM. That was just DH.

How would you feel about making her one? I occasionally make jar candles, and it's sooooo much cheaper (and I only use quality ingredients). Actually, a diffuser would be ridiculously easy (you add fragrance oil to a base, pour into bottle, wrap nicely with reeds) try candle-shack.co.uk/products/black-pomegranate

itssquidstella · 02/03/2022 20:50

Rituals or The White Company would be a good middle ground, I think.

Blossomtoes · 02/03/2022 20:50

T K Maxx is your friend. There are lots of very nice candles for around a tenner. If you buy something obscure she’ll be happy.

impressivelycunty · 02/03/2022 20:52

Massive candle snob here. Jo Malone since she left and set up Jo loves, is not nearly as good quality IMO. I'd suggest White Company Seychelles (£20) or the Zara X Jo Malone which are all gorgeous. Don't buy a Yankee candle - nothing wrong with them, but if that's not her thing she'll not be impressed.

Anne8850 · 02/03/2022 20:52

www.johnlewis.com/browse/home-garden/candles-home-fragrance/candles/max-benjamin/_/N-ccbZ1yzuvln

Max Benjamin are an Irish brand and fabulous, might be worth a look

LostForWords2021 · 02/03/2022 20:54

I’ve also just ordered from wonky candles.
I ordered their starter burner which includes a JM dupe - lime, basil and mandarin £13.50 plus delivery.

RJnomore1 · 02/03/2022 20:54

Can I recommend this from the white company

www.thewhitecompany.com/uk/No-155-2-Wick-Candle/p/OFDCA?swatch=No+Colour

Smells and looks lovely, on sale with a good discount, and £5 goes to a women and girls charity when you buy a candle from them just now so there’s a story to tell her about how her gift also helped others less fortunate. I’m awRe £21 is still quite a bit when you’re struggling but it’s a lot less than jo Malone.

YisforWanky · 02/03/2022 20:55

Why can't people just talk to one another?

OP to husband: we can't seriously spend a week's food money on a Mother's Day present.

Husband to his mother: Sorry, Mum, but money's tight this year. I love you just the same, though, and here's (insert nice, thoughtful thing that doesn't cost the earth). Big hug.

The End.

BlueTuesday20 · 02/03/2022 20:55

This isn't about candles really. This is about why your DH won't fess up to his mum that you are not as well off as you are making out.

SeaToSki · 02/03/2022 20:56

How about, given the situation in Ukraine, that you donate to a charity supporting the refugees and get the dc to make her a card with a picture of a candle that they have drawn. Then you can donate what you can afford and she can display the card and its a win win (and helps some people, who really need it right now)

Missyandtinker · 02/03/2022 20:56

I bought a DIVINE candle the other week from some new company my sister saw on Facebook.
Google ‘The Wicked Elk’
They hand-make it all apparently & they do these lush lids that come with the candles too.
Honestly, it’s something a bit different which maybe your MIL might like.
Anyway, good luck!

HotMummaSummer · 02/03/2022 20:58

Try a local candle business if there are any in her area. There's one in my city and they do lovely candles named after all the parks. I think it's a lovely thoughtful gift

Happymum12345 · 02/03/2022 21:00

Surely she knows a rough idea of your budget? Why would she ask for such an expensive gift?

tothemoonandbackbuses · 02/03/2022 21:02

I would get St Eval. They are a world away from Yankee candles in scent and quality but not price. The fragrance church candles are my favourites.

AncientofMuMu · 02/03/2022 21:02

I really like The Candle Brand and Glass and Wick for candles, both small businesses and they smell amazing

KindlyKanga · 02/03/2022 21:03

@SeaToSki

How about, given the situation in Ukraine, that you donate to a charity supporting the refugees and get the dc to make her a card with a picture of a candle that they have drawn. Then you can donate what you can afford and she can display the card and its a win win (and helps some people, who really need it right now)
That's like giving someone a goat from oxfam for Christmas. Donate in your own name if you want to donate don't pretend it's a gift for MIL. MIL cna donate if she wants to.
Hopikins · 02/03/2022 21:03

Check what stores sell Jo Malone Candles and get her a store voucher and a bunch of daffodils.
I would be horrified if my children bought gifts they could ill afford. Tell her you thought the voucher was a better idea and she could put it towards a Jo Malone Candle of her choice. Your. husband is being ridiculous.

rosegoldwatcher · 02/03/2022 21:03

I love a scented candle. Both sons know this and buy me them for Christmas/birthdays. But I would be mortified if either of them spent the amount that a Jo Malone candle would cost.

In my experience, scented candles with good projection and that won't break the bank can be found in Homesense - Sand&Fog is my personal favourite brand.

Iloveacurry · 02/03/2022 21:04

You buy her a cheaper candle and if she moans about it, remind her you’re currently on maternity leave ….

Queencranberry · 02/03/2022 21:04

@Missyandtinker

I bought a DIVINE candle the other week from some new company my sister saw on Facebook. Google ‘The Wicked Elk’ They hand-make it all apparently & they do these lush lids that come with the candles too. Honestly, it’s something a bit different which maybe your MIL might like. Anyway, good luck!
Oh, I've heard of them! Saw the FB feed and did the same as your sister. If you're near Cardiff OP, I think they've opened a shop. The candles are lovely and I think everything down to the lids are hand made/crafted.

Might be worth a look for your MIL OP?

itsalwayscycling · 02/03/2022 21:04

I like Skye candles skyecandles.co.uk/ they have a wee shop in Glasgow I usually pop into when I’m there, they’re good quality candles and nice natural scents plus the packaging etc looks good

hulahooper2 · 02/03/2022 21:05

Hi nalone are nice but definitely not worth the money , shearers are fab , not nearly as expensive, raspberry and rhubarb , and watermelon are my favourites

LottyD32 · 02/03/2022 21:06

Get her a candle holder or a snuff instead.