Genuine question to everyone on this thread who feels poor. What are you doing with your kids to make sure they’re not in the same position? Are you teaching them to work hard, doing homework with them, making sure they’re top of the class and aspiring to a good career?
Well, mines pretty much worked out by watching me through her life that 'hard work' doesn't automatically = financial success, because she has been shunted off to family (and yes I'm damned grateful to have them) until she was old enough to look after herself, so I could work ft+ for most of her life, the older she's got, the more hours she's seen me do, she's also seeing the effects of that hard work on my body as I develop arthritis and have treatment for other joint issues and back problems, and we're not much better off and won't be at all when these rises take full effect.
But yes, I did the homework with her, I attended the parents evenings, I encouraged the extra classes after school, I paid the son of a friend to help her fill in the gaps that school blatantly missed, because I couldn't afford a private tutor and her school were at that time, useless if the kids were doing ok.
I have always said that she should get a degree, because even if she changes her mind after 5 years, she's proved she can work at that professional level and that gives her more choices.
But she never was and never will be top of the class, no matter how hard she works and I accepted that and supported her to accept it, it doesn't mean she doesn't try, it means she plays to her strengths and doesn't stress herself silly trying to attain something she's unlikely to, even with all the work in the world.
If university is what she wants, I will move into my mothers garden shed to facilitate it if I have to, I have supported her to the best of my ability, but my own lack of contacts and knowledge around university and professional careers is a stumbling block, one I've tried hard to get past, but it's not something I've grown up knowing about or having experience of, it's all new to me too.
And, here's the rub, she needs work experience to get in - we don't know anyone in the field and have been turned down by all we've tried, talking to people online about it, most people get their work experience because of who they know, well, we don't know anyone, because we don't have the right connections. College are trying to get her a placement at the moment, it's her last real hope.
And she has no choice but to live away from home because the local university doesn't do the degree she wants to do, so there's no option to save money there living at home, she's probably also going to need to work p/t through university, if she can around the placements she needs to do in order to survive. I will help her as much as I can, but I'm limited.
I sometimes think that people assume us paupers can't be bothered and we make up these problems to cover laziness, because they've never been in the situation, it can't possibly be an issue.