Come tell me I’m an awful mum

[PancakeDisaster]

Pancake day obviously

I always dread it. I’m a fairly ok cook but there are two things I can’t do, fry anything or mash anything. I burn fried stuff or undercook it and I can never get none lumpy mash.

I had ago at making pancakes for DD and I.

Whatever I did it didn’t work as it came out lumpy and uncooked in the middle.

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Just me and her at home so no-one else to have another attempt. I’ve used all my milk, flour and eggs trying to make them, I had several attempts.

Why am I so useless? Tell me I’m an awful mother and she’s never going to forgive me.

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty) and last year I had one of those ready made batters and it still went wrong!

We haven't done pancakes today either.....I was on nights last night and tonight with limited childcare in between so I'm shattered and can't be arsed 🤣 at least you tried! I get the pan really hot and then turn it down once the mixture is in so it doesn't burn before cooking through.

Also - nobody's measure of being a good parent is based on being able to make a pancake!! Stop beating yourself up

If my child spoke to me like that over Pancakes I would give them hell.
No one can make Pancakes and all non sweet Pancakes are shite. Just buy them next time and heat them up.

You need the Breville Crepe Maker . Foolproof. Could NEVER make crepes until we got it and now they are amazing !
Cheap too - about 30 euro from Amazon.

@TheProvincialLady

Your daughter has behaved really badly. Saying “I hate you” for some failed pancakes is just horrible. I wouldn’t bother trying to make any more this year if that’s her attitude.

This.

I’d be mindful of what you’re showing your daughter. You don’t want to teach her your self fulfilling prophecies. Of course you can make pancakes: you just need good instruction (YouTube) and practice. If you tell her you can’t make them and then don't try again she Will adopt the same approach to other things she finds difficult in future

Try not to be so defeatist.

Another vote for a crepe maker!

Often it's the pan used. Some are just not up for the job. Even brand new ones often aren't great! My best frying pan is a salter one!

But don't feel bad. I made some up before the kids got home from school to re heat when they got home to save time. Dd liked them but Ds told me they were disgusting without even trying them and wanted to eat 'normal' pancakes - by that he means warburtons scotch pancakes out the packet 😅

What is your pan like, for the pancakes? Is it a pan with a heavy base? If you leave these to get hot they heat up much more evenly than a thin pan.

My recipe is 2oz flour to 1 egg to 1/4 pint of milk, 3 eggs does 3-4 people. Then I add about 1 tbsp of sugar to the mixture. I find it means the pancakes are much less likely to tear as you try and make them, but it does mean you want the pan medium hot rather than incredibly hot.

How do you pour the batter in would be my next question? I find I need to lightly butter the pan, then pour in enough mixture to cover 1/3 ISH, maybe 40% of the base of the pan then lift it up and tip it so the mixture covers the whole of the base of the pan.

Then wait til the edges of the pancake start to go crispy, and use a fairly stiff plastic spatula to lift and loosen the edges then the whole pancake before flipping it over manually with said spatula. I can't flip pancakes in the pan!

Separately re Mash - you need to cook the potatoes to the point where if you put a knife in and twist it the potato falls apart. Don't undercook them. Then mash really thoroughly without any butter or milk, then add milk and optional butter little by little at the end.

@PancakeDisaster

Will buy a ricer thanks everyone, I really want to do nice mash!

The tri k too good mash is cooking the potatoes until they are really soft, drain and then stick them back on the hob for a few seconds to get them nice and dry. Lots of butter, some milk, double cream and salt (all added aittle bit at a time till the taste good) and mash until they are creamy. Also adding well boiled mash carrots makes them really really good, and then you can't really tell if the mash is lumpy because the carrots will always be a little bit lumpy.

@Nat94

Not that you need to as you've tried your best and done nothing wrong but why don't you maybe order a dessert take away on uber eats for you and you daughter to be delivered if that might help you feel better about things?

Not a chance I would be doing that after the way she behaved over Pancakes. Bowl of broccoli for her dinner

If they are lumpy just use a stick blender to make sure the mixture is properly mixed. Then you'll need a very good nonstick pan, use a knob of butter to cook them in and use only a very thin layer of mixture. It should really only be just enough mixture to cover the surface of the pan. Difficult to undercook thin pancakes.

I made them with self raising flour, as I run out of plain, and they came out lovely.

I should have explained better, but like this 👇🏻

"How do you pour the batter in would be my next question? I find I need to lightly butter the pan, then pour in enough mixture to cover 1/3 ISH, maybe 40% of the base of the pan then lift it up and tip it so the mixture covers the whole of the base of the pan." @Gladioli23 👍🏼

My dad used to always do the pancakes and from what i look back on now at 36 i dont think 'ah they were great pancakes' (although they were!) it was the process of tossing them and making them that was the fun part i remember. Next year do them together, the first ones for the pan be prepared to chuck that but they will get better and if they dont taste great at least you've had a laugh trying

Allow the mixture to rest, I use 300g SRFlour
2 medium eggs and 300 ml milk, 50g caster sugar for sweet ones or cracked black pepper and a dash of salt for savoury.in a Pyrex jug Mix the eggs with a hand whisk and add them to the flour then measure 300 ml milk into the jug you’ve just emptied, stick the whisk in the milk it grabs all the remaining egg and whips air into the milk. Add the milk and whisk all together til the batter is smooth. Leave to rest for 15 mins. In a frying pan add a little Pat of butter, just enough to grease the pan and not have it swimming in grease. Use a measure such as a ladle in the batter. Put the pan on mark 4/6 and let it get hot. Add an amount of batter to the centre of the pan but not too much. Let the batter cook, don’t move it, until you see bubbles forming on the top and the pancake rises a bit, then you can flip using your wrist and a spatula, no fancy pan flips needed. Cook the other side and serve but be warned the first one is always worse then the next, as the batter rests it gets better to use. You don’t need the pan on red hot, you don’t need half a bottle of oil or loads of butter, you don’t need to be able to flip them like a pro. Just a regular flat frying pan will do to cook them in. We have pancakes quite often savoury and sweet ones. Today we had them with corned beef hash and tomorrow we will have sweet ones my boys love them with syrup and strawberries but I prefer the savoury ones.

Mix your ingredients in a blender.

@Brefugee

why didn't you just buy ready made ones?

She's already said!! Her DD doesn't like them!

@PancakeDisaster

Next year, book pancake tea at your mums!!

I use butter in the pan. First one is always a bit of a mess, I wipe with paper towel between each pancake & a fresh knob of butter (real butter).

Use cold milk in the batter.

Tell DD to stop it! Telling you she hates you, at 7, because the pancakes didn't work out is not acceptable. You're FAR from a bad mum! A 'bad mum' wouldn't have even tried! (& even that's not exactly 'bad' is it!!)

I understand she's disappointed, but that doesn't give her the right to tell you she hates you & act like a total brat.

As for the pancakes, you CAN do it, but it can be trial &error until you find a good pan, the right recipe, the right temperature etc. once you get there, you'll be a pancake flipper for life!

This is quite specific but works for us!

110g plain flour
1 egg
300 mls milk

Whisk together
We have a pancake pan which means it's easier to get thinner pancakes (the children eat them nearly every weekend). Get the pan hot but then turn it down. I use a silicone pastry brush to wipe the pan with oil and a ladle full of mix. Swoosh the pan and then let it cook. Once you can see it's cooked on one side then flip

Don't feel awful once you master it you'll be sorted!!

DP has the ability to make something burned and raw in the middle.

I finally worked out the problem - he put the frying pan on the largest hob and turned the heat up so high that the flames were licking up round the sides, leaving the bit of the pan in the middle far cooler than the sides.

Change to a smaller hob, keep the flame on less than full blast and things cook more evenly - and turning the heat down to about a quarter and putting a lid on top solves many problems, as the bit in the middle steams.

I do, however, insist upon making my own omelettes as he forgets everything about chilling the fuck out and letting them cook and either presents burned dry scrambled egg or a two inch thick puddle of egg and ingredients. And sometimes I just want to bloody eat within an hour.

Bugger I forgot ; . ;

So much has been going on. I cook pancakes every saturday though so it's not a huge occasion in our house. Wish I had remembered though.

Pancakes are so easy, anyone who can't Make one must be pretty useless! How on earth do manage to get through life if simple tasks prove such a bloody challenge?

Do you need help fucking off, or can you do it yourself?

OP, two things:
a) the way she spoke to you really wasn't acceptable; this needs calling out / discussing with her.
b) I suspect it's your pan but whatever, declare 2 March Croissant/Waffle/Scone Day each year and buy from a shop. Or have a Welsh cake!

I can totally sympathise OP as I totally messed up my pancakes last year (horrible, falling apart omelette type things) so this year I found a different recipe (Jamie Oliver not BBC Good Food) and watched a couple of videos from the French Cooking Academy and they came out perfect

and

If you can summon the energy maybe try again tomorrow?

It says right there in the OP that her daughter doesn't like ready made ones.

sorry missed that. Mea culpa

I don’t think the pancakes are the failure/issue here.

As the parent of a 6 year old who sees both parents constantly tired and making sub standard pancakes (!) - I can’t imagine him saying next year he hates us in any context at all. It’s appalling behaviour and I don’t understand how you’re allowing it (or why she feels able to say that)