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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Come tell me I’m an awful mum

314 replies

PancakeDisaster · 01/03/2022 18:11

Pancake day obviously

I always dread it. I’m a fairly ok cook but there are two things I can’t do, fry anything or mash anything. I burn fried stuff or undercook it and I can never get none lumpy mash.

I had ago at making pancakes for DD and I.

Whatever I did it didn’t work as it came out lumpy and uncooked in the middle.

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Just me and her at home so no-one else to have another attempt. I’ve used all my milk, flour and eggs trying to make them, I had several attempts.

Why am I so useless? Tell me I’m an awful mother and she’s never going to forgive me.

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty) and last year I had one of those ready made batters and it still went wrong!

OP posts:

SummerHouse · 01/03/2022 18:24

I am excellent at pancakes.

However my children are currently playing Fortnite downstairs while I hide in the bedroom scrolling Mumsnet.

We are all imperfect. But our kids think otherwise.

Whatever she is saying to you, you are her world.

Could you salvage this with a hot chocolate and a biscuit or something. Bet none of the 26 have had that tonight.

mangoontoast · 01/03/2022 18:25

@Brefugee

why didn't you just buy ready made ones?

What didn't you even read the OP?

YouHaveYourFathersBreasts · 01/03/2022 18:25

You’re better off buying ready made ones, either the big crepe style ones or the smaller American style ones as others have said. This is no reflection on you as a mother. Your daughter is disappointed, fair enough, but I’d be expecting an apology for saying something hurtful to you- the I hate you.

Original poster

PancakeDisaster · 01/03/2022 18:25

@junglejane66

My DH makes a great pancake but he just cant flip them at all, he really is a useless tosser

@junglejane66 Thank you I needed that giggle

OP posts:

KindlyKanga · 01/03/2022 18:26

Oh no, you're not a terrible mum. When she is older she will remember how you did your best every year to make her pancakes even if they were disappointing. One year you'll get it or maybe you won't but as she gets older it will become an amusing challenge. Maybe get some ready made ones on standby next year her taste might change. Or fake it and pretend you made them . Anyway ignore the random photos of pancakes on Facebook.

Marmite27 · 01/03/2022 18:26

For your mash, you need a ricer, they make perfect mash. They’re like a big garlic press.

Original poster

PancakeDisaster · 01/03/2022 18:28

She will be made to apologise for saying "I hate you" don't worry, I get she's disappointed, she's got Additional Needs so can react without thinking, she was excited and the disappointment got to her.

I'll let her calm down then go see her in half an hour or so.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 01/03/2022 18:28

She’s being an ungrateful madam, but everyone gets hangry sometimes suppose.

Can you go out somewhere for dessert or nip to a supermarket now?

Talk with her about learning this skill and how it can be a project you both share on how to perfect pancakes. It’s really just practise and accepting you’ll waste some eggs along the way.

RedHelenB · 01/03/2022 18:29

Can't you just get a mix?

Mariposista · 01/03/2022 18:29

I hope after using language like 'I hate you' she will be staying in her room for the rest of the night!
You are a brilliant mum for trying, and it didn't work out - that happens in life. She should be grateful to have a mummy who cares enough to try, even though it's something she's not that good at, and have a good giggle over it and help clean up the mess.

NoSquirrels · 01/03/2022 18:30

Don’t suppose any grandparents or family live close to you? To throw yourselves into n their mercy?

BluebellsGreenbells · 01/03/2022 18:31

Mash - needs work!! Add a spoon of butter and a splash of milk and keep going!!

If it’s not mash quality add more butter.

Pancakes - flour first then eggs - mix until it’s all clumped together then ease it apart with a splash of milk and work it!! You need some elbow grease and some resilience!

Tell your DD you promise to practice every week and give her a score card! You can do this.

Stressedout1009 · 01/03/2022 18:31

Hi op. You are not an awful mum. This is a fool proof recipe for next time.

1 cup flour
2tbs baking powder
a pinch of salt
3 tbs sugar
1 cup milk
1tsp vanilla extract
1egg

Everything goes in a blender. Let it sit in the fridge for 10 min to thicken. In the mean while Melt 2tbps butter and heat your pan. Add the melted butter to your mixture and start making pancakes!

CombatBarbie · 01/03/2022 18:31

I'd have just bought them from the shop and put them in microwave....

My pancakes I've kinda mastered. Heat on 7 (induction hob) knob of butter and then one ladel of mix and turn down to 6....and keep shaking the pan so it doesn't stick. The first one always end up in the bin though 😂

Dembones292 · 01/03/2022 18:31

When it was going wrong did you get stressed or did you turn it into a joke? It's times like these that you look back on as an adult at laugh at. My mum was a horrible cook, wonderful mum but christ the shit we had to eat. Its endearing though, she's not perfect, no one is!

For what its worth I forgot all about pancake day and when DS reminded me I realised we'd run out of sugar and I can't be arsed going to the shops so we'll do it later in the week. It's real life isn't it, not airbrushed social media bullshit.

Ilovethewild · 01/03/2022 18:32

Op, why not encourage your Dd to make you pancakes. She could follow a you tube video!

LetsGoCrazyPurpleBanana · 01/03/2022 18:32

I can't do pancakes to save my life but I find American pancakes a doddle. They are a bit more... forgiving.

HoneyItIsntGoodLuck · 01/03/2022 18:32

Eek - I strongly disagree that the pan needs to be ‘really hot’.

It needs to be warm, and it needs to be fully warmed up before you put the first pancake on the pan.

I have my pan at medium low and will up the heat by minute increments as needed to get perfectly golden pancakes every time.

I’m a Kiwi, so of course it’s the Edmonds recipe for me.

Hugasauras · 01/03/2022 18:38

We have pancakes a lot anyway as DD loves them, and the trick in our house is to get pan fairly hot to start and then turn down to more medium heat. If it's too hot and you're making thick American-style or Scotch pancakes, you just end up burning either side while inside doesn't cook properly, so you need a more medium heat.

The traditional thin kind I actually find more forgiving to cook (but not flip!) as you don't have to worry about uncooked bits and I don't find the heat requires as much tinkering.

Hugasauras · 01/03/2022 18:39

And the first pancake is always the worst! You have to persevere!

Iwishiwereamillionaire · 01/03/2022 18:42

I put all the ingredients in a tall jug and use a hand blender to mix, that way there’s zero lumps!
I find the pancakes get better as I go along so just keep going

YouHaveYourFathersBreasts · 01/03/2022 18:44

@PancakeDisaster

I'll let her calm down then go see her in half an hour or so.

Massive sympathies. My son has SEN and can be impulsive with his words too. Hopefully all will be sorted and you have cuddles ASAP and laugh about mummy’s mad pancakes rather than being upset about it.

Original poster

PancakeDisaster · 01/03/2022 18:44

DDs just come and gave me a hug and said sorry, says she'll buy me a chocolate bar from the shop on the way to school tomorrow (I didn't teach her that btw).

I've said I understand she was disappointed but I tried. I will get practicing ready for next year.

She just said we should go to Granny's next year (my mum).

OP posts:

ghostyslovesheets · 01/03/2022 18:45

get the pan hot
add butter
use kitchen towel to wipe away the excess
add batter (100gr plain flour, 2 eggs, 300ml milk)
add batter in the middle then wiggle the pan to spread out - very thin
wait until the sides curl to flip
serve

I make great pancakes - if it helps I am shit at cooking everything else!

Thinkbiglittleone · 01/03/2022 18:45

The first pancake is always "for the pan". It just gets it in its groove.

For a starter you only need flour, milk and egg - your toppings will give it its best flavour

Put a cup of flour in a bowl, add milk and stir until it's a bit sticky, then add egg , mix the egg in then just add either a tad more flour to thicken it or milk to make it thinner.

Get a pan with some melted butter on a medium heat and only put enough to cover the pan, thick pancakes are to heavy, they should be thin and light, if it looks like it may be getting stuck put some butter on your fish slice and "rim" (excuse the phrase) the pan so the butter drips down and loosens the pancake, keep it coking until slightly coloured with bits of brown on and flip it over.

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