Come tell me I’m an awful mum

[PancakeDisaster]

Pancake day obviously

I always dread it. I’m a fairly ok cook but there are two things I can’t do, fry anything or mash anything. I burn fried stuff or undercook it and I can never get none lumpy mash.

I had ago at making pancakes for DD and I.

Whatever I did it didn’t work as it came out lumpy and uncooked in the middle.

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Just me and her at home so no-one else to have another attempt. I’ve used all my milk, flour and eggs trying to make them, I had several attempts.

Why am I so useless? Tell me I’m an awful mother and she’s never going to forgive me.

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty) and last year I had one of those ready made batters and it still went wrong!

I'm glad your daughter has apologised and hopefully you're both feeling less stressed

You can definitely do it though! I'm not a particularly accomplished chef but pancakes are super simple. Just mix milk, flour & egg, only use a tiny amount of oil in the pan, pour in a small amount of mixture and tilt the pan to cover with the mix. Making them nice & thin will mean you don't need to worry about the middle not cooking.

I always find my first pancake is a bit rubbish & then the rest turn out fine.

Get a bit of practice in before next year (and get some extra ingredients in just in case) and you'll be a pro!

@Stressedout1009

Hi op. You are not an awful mum. This is a fool proof recipe for next time.

1 cup flour
2tbs baking powder
a pinch of salt
3 tbs sugar
1 cup milk
1tsp vanilla extract
1egg

Everything goes in a blender. Let it sit in the fridge for 10 min to thicken. In the mean while Melt 2tbps butter and heat your pan. Add the melted butter to your mixture and start making pancakes!

Surely not 2tbs baking powder?!

Crepes are a good idea.

I know McDonald’s does like (not sure what they’re like) or find somewhere that cooks them and make it a special treat once a year to go and eat out.

Three words: ready-made pancake mix.

Pancakes are notoriously temperamental. I make them from scratch too and sometimes they’re fine, sometimes they’re awful.

Poor you! Next time buy already made ones!

Looking at the bright side, at least you used all your flour, which is the very purpose of it.

I thought I got away with my kids not knowing it was pancake day until bed time when my 5 year old said it’s pancake day.. oh well!

OP the two things that helped me make really good pancakes are:

• buying a proper pancake pan

-- adding 1- 2 tablespoons of melted butter to the batter before cooking (let it cool a bit before adding). I use a tiny bit of oil to grease the pan for the first pancake but that's it

You’re not as awful as me. I made a lovely batter with DD (nearly 5 yo). Made ahead of time so it wouldn’t be stressful. Chopped up strawberries and found some sprinkles as that was what she wanted on her pancake. Talked her through how to flip it and to be careful only to touch the handle of the pan. Got her to stand with me and both hold the handle. In the one second I looked up at her little brother in his high chair, she grabbed the very end metal bit where the handle meets the pan big blister on her finger, hysterical tears and basically a panic attack ensued. Partly because it was 6pm and she was really tired too. I feel awful. Pancake day will always be the day she burned herself on the pan. We held it under the cold tap for ages and she’s asleep now but oh god I felt bloody awful. Could I not have looked away for that second???!

So you are a much better mother than I am. Also I now hate pancake day.

I’ve been making pancakes for over 50 years and I always have to throw the first one in the bin. You would think I’d have learned by now to get the pan hot enough. 🥴

Order in. Simples.

Practice for next year. Took me tears to get right and my other half is an expert! A non stick frying pan. Milk, flour, pinch salt, one egg, more milk than you think you need. Make the batter runny, like soup ifysmim. 10p size of oil, run it round hot pan, then half a ladle of mixture. Have a plastic spatula to hand, loosen as soon as one side is cooked. Less than 1 minute each side. Flip over twice using the spatula. Good luck.

@Bigoldmachine

You’re not as awful as me. I made a lovely batter with DD (nearly 5 yo). Made ahead of time so it wouldn’t be stressful. Chopped up strawberries and found some sprinkles as that was what she wanted on her pancake. Talked her through how to flip it and to be careful only to touch the handle of the pan. Got her to stand with me and both hold the handle. In the one second I looked up at her little brother in his high chair, she grabbed the very end metal bit where the handle meets the pan big blister on her finger, hysterical tears and basically a panic attack ensued. Partly because it was 6pm and she was really tired too. I feel awful. Pancake day will always be the day she burned herself on the pan. We held it under the cold tap for ages and she’s asleep now but oh god I felt bloody awful. Could I not have looked away for that second???!

So you are a much better mother than I am. Also I now hate pancake day.

@Bigoldmachine Sending hugs, hopefully your DD has learnt to trust you when you say she shouldn't touch something.

Delia smith has nice clear instructions when you feel like having another go.
www.deliaonline.com/recipes/main-ingredient/eggs-recipes/basic-pancakes
Certainly not a bad Mum though - we can all see that
Btw lumpy mash is easier to avoid if you use a potato ricer and then plenty of butter, milk. There is a good opportunity here to show her perserverence pays off!

In future just buy ready made ones you can still flip them and have fun filling them with whatever have another pancake day tomorrow we'll done for trying I'm shit at them too FYI

Will buy a ricer thanks everyone, I really want to do nice mash!

unlimited amount of daddies biscuits (viennese whirls)

This made me smile. When I was little, daddy’s biscuits were bourbon creams.

I can't make them either, even the ones out the bottle and I follow the instructions. My husband makes them in our house. I used to get the ready made ones ( like crepes not the scotch pancake type) and just microwave and add toppings.

Fry them in lard, not oil - on the hottest setting (on my average-type ceramic hob). Lard can get very hot without burning and it needs to be very hot before you start.

Had pancakes today but used them as a ‘filler’ very successfully with young children - we usually had eggs, flour and milk however behind with the shopping,

You're not a bad mum

I had a rough time once and a wise therapist told me to stop worrying about what I couldn't do and focus on doing what I could do as well as possible.

You could buy waffles tomorrow, shove them in the toaster and have them with icecream and tinned fruit or chopped bananas. Make your own tradition for pancake day and laugh at the fact you are Britain's worst pancake maker. Teach your daughter that life is about more than ticking boxes and being the same as everyone else.

Your child doesn't need pancakes they just need a fun thing with their mum.

Oh and as pp said leave the mixture to thicken, I give it half an hour. Then stir again.

Not much to add that hasn't already been said, EXCEPT
please don't put 2 tablespoons of baking powder in the mixture, (surely a typo!), you'll put her off pancakes for life!! Flour, eggs and milk is all you need.

The fact that you care so much, shows what an incredible mum you are. Don't beat yourself up. Also don't compare to Facebook, it's not all real!

Goodness I’d nip that attitude in the bid sharpish! Of course she can be disappointed but she expressed it extremely rudely, assuming no SEN.

You have 20/26 class parents on FB?? They can’t all possibly be close friends, I’d hide a load of them so you don’t have to see their posts if they’ll just make you feel bad. Come on OP, FB is such a snapshot of life, you know this, don’t let it undermine your parenting.

You are most definitely not an awful Mum, you need to be a bit kinder to yourself.

It’s all about the right pan, and having it hot. But nothing wrong with going to the co-op and getting some ready made ones.

If it helps, I once threw a birthday cake I was making in the sink because it was so completely SHIT.

I have never bothered making one since, I take my kids to the best cake shop and let them choose, we are all extremely happy with this tradition.

Not that you need to as you've tried your best and done nothing wrong but why don't you maybe order a dessert take away on uber eats for you and you daughter to be delivered if that might help you feel better about things?