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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Come tell me I’m an awful mum

314 replies

PancakeDisaster · 01/03/2022 18:11

Pancake day obviously

I always dread it. I’m a fairly ok cook but there are two things I can’t do, fry anything or mash anything. I burn fried stuff or undercook it and I can never get none lumpy mash.

I had ago at making pancakes for DD and I.

Whatever I did it didn’t work as it came out lumpy and uncooked in the middle.

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Just me and her at home so no-one else to have another attempt. I’ve used all my milk, flour and eggs trying to make them, I had several attempts.

Why am I so useless? Tell me I’m an awful mother and she’s never going to forgive me.

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty) and last year I had one of those ready made batters and it still went wrong!

OP posts:
EthelTheAardvark · 01/03/2022 18:46

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty)

Put loads of sugar on plus filling of choice, should drown out any saltiness.

Or show DH and DD a recipe and instruction video and leave them to it.

WonderfulYou · 01/03/2022 18:46

Explain to her that you’re not very good at cooking pancakes but that it’s ok as we can’t all be good at everything - it will be a good lesson for her.

You could say to make up for it you’ll go to your mums and ask her to make her pancakes and you’ll practice doing them too.

Is the batter smooth when you do it?
Is it too think?
Are you putting too much in the pan?
I find it easier to cook if its more runny (not too runny) and then pour some in and move the pan so it spreads out.
If I do it too thick or put too much batter in it doesn’t cook properly.

Iwonder08 · 01/03/2022 18:46

I have an idea for you. At 7 she should be able to have a go at making pancakes herself. Get the ingredients let her find YouTube videos on how to make pancakes and let her try

Thinkbiglittleone · 01/03/2022 18:46

And oh, I forgot completely if it was today, we did have pancakes on Sunday but I had no idea it was pancake day Sad

Breastfeedingworries · 01/03/2022 18:46

Does anyone else buy the crepes? I just microwaved them with choc and my dd loved it. Why didn’t you fake it? It’s bit of a faff. My dd is 3 tho…

Come tell me I’m an awful mum
BoredZelda · 01/03/2022 18:47

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Not awful for not being able to make pancakes, but you might need to work on building some resilience and perspective in your 7 year old. Also, why in earth would you have the entire class’ parents on FB?

Just another excuse for supermarkets to extract money from us. Don’t feel bad. I can’t remember having them as a child and I survived.

Shrove Tuesday has been around a whole lot longer than supermarkets.

carriebradshawwithlessshoes · 01/03/2022 18:48

I consider myself a great cook. I can make anything. But not a pancake! Christ knows why. I get mush too or stuck to pan. The best year was when I thought I was doing ok, flipped it and hot oil splashed all up my arm and scalded it.

Waaaay over rated. I’m sure the shop ones are all different. Doesn’t she like any? M and S do a good one.

Harrysmummy246 · 01/03/2022 18:48

@PancakeDisaster

Pancake day obviously

I always dread it. I’m a fairly ok cook but there are two things I can’t do, fry anything or mash anything. I burn fried stuff or undercook it and I can never get none lumpy mash.

I had ago at making pancakes for DD and I.

Whatever I did it didn’t work as it came out lumpy and uncooked in the middle.

DD (aged 7) is now crying saying all her friends at school will be having pancakes and it’s not fair – she’s right, from FB I can see at least 20 of the 26 in her class have had pancakes today. She’s stomped off to her room after telling me she hates me.

Just me and her at home so no-one else to have another attempt. I’ve used all my milk, flour and eggs trying to make them, I had several attempts.

Why am I so useless? Tell me I’m an awful mother and she’s never going to forgive me.

DD doesn't like the ready made pancakes (finds them salty) and last year I had one of those ready made batters and it still went wrong!

Trick for mash potatoes is cook them longer to almost falling apart and then use a ricer, not a silly square grid masher which requires elbow grease.

Frankly, with her attitude, she doesn't deserve the effort you've gone to.

Weekendvibes · 01/03/2022 18:49

You are not a bad mum just because you can't make pancakes. Don't feel bad and let this get you down.

Your dd was rude but obviously she was disappointed.

You could either have another go tomorrow or buy her some from somewhere that she will eat. McDonald's or maybe a cafe?

American style ones might be a bit easier.

Glugglejug · 01/03/2022 18:49

I was going to say that you should just cut your losses and both go out for pancakes but your daughter says she hates you so fuck that. Leave the bratty kid home and take yourself out for wine.

sonjadog · 01/03/2022 18:49

If you can't get them to work, try another frying pan. I make excellent pancakes (if I do say so myself), but they are entirely pan-dependent. In the wrong pan, they get either burnt or stuck. You need a thick bottomed, completely flat pan. I have an old iron pan that I use for them. My usual frying pan just produces a burnt or lumpy mess.

bellocchild · 01/03/2022 18:50

Could your mum make some, then layer them in greaseproof paper, and deliver them to you for reheating?

WutheringHeights66 · 01/03/2022 18:51

I could never make them when mine were kids, I used to send them to my mums on pancake day or buy them and warm them in a dry frying pan or do the American ones from packet mix which were very easy and my kids loved. They have no recollection that pancake day was shit most years.

But I do.

Wam90 · 01/03/2022 18:52

Definitely not a terrible mum!
Could you maybe suggest to DD about a trip out for pancakes over the weekend if she’s feeling a bit upset and you’re feeling bad?

LacasadeBernadaAlba · 01/03/2022 18:52

Long story short, I ended up,ordering crepes this evening form a local sweet takeaway place. It was amazing. I wouldn’t do it normally but we’re having one of those days/weeks/months and I just wanted the treat.

FTB2022 · 01/03/2022 18:53

My mum has just sent me this great recipe... not sure it's one for your daughter though!!

Come tell me I’m an awful mum
CambsAlways · 01/03/2022 18:53

Nah you aren’t an awful mum! But for your daughter to stomp off to her room saying she hates you is a bit ott, I get she’s disappointed but sounds a right madam

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 01/03/2022 18:53

Next year, make it together with your dd. It will be a lot of fun, and taste great went you both had fun making it together.

Pancake is very easy to master. You just need no stick pan and a bit of practice.

Original poster
PancakeDisaster · 01/03/2022 18:54

@bellocchild

Could your mum make some, then layer them in greaseproof paper, and deliver them to you for reheating?
@bellocchild My mum only lives a few miles away so we can always go to hers, I should of taken up her offer but I wanted ago myself.

Lesson learnt.

OP posts:
HailAdrian · 01/03/2022 18:54

You should definitely make a note to remind her of this when she's older. Honestly though if i can manage a decent pancake, anyone can.

BusinessMindThoughts · 01/03/2022 18:56

We use a stick blender to mix the mixture so it's smooth. I also disagree that the pan needs to be super hot !

EthelTheAardvark · 01/03/2022 18:57

I'm curious, OP, what do you do to frying eggs that means it doesn't work?

EthelTheAardvark · 01/03/2022 18:58

@PancakeDisaster

She will be made to apologise for saying "I hate you" don't worry, I get she's disappointed, she's got Additional Needs so can react without thinking, she was excited and the disappointment got to her.

I'll let her calm down then go see her in half an hour or so.

Maybe it'll be helpful to her in the future to understand that adults too can struggle to achieve things.
pantsandpringles · 01/03/2022 18:59

Today my three year old didn't get pancakes. She has however had a domino's pizza, an unlimited amount of daddies biscuits (viennese whirls) and a big bowl of ice cream. This is because I'm in agony, stressed and my partner has been in bed all day ill so the house is a tip too.

And I'm normally one of those parents who plays with their child all day, makes crafty stuff and cooks healthy meals from scratch every day. I just cannot be fucked today.

Exteachergirl · 01/03/2022 19:00

I bet there are loads of things that you do brilliantly that other mothers are not so good at. It's understandable that you are very upset about this but try not to be so harsh on yourself. I suggest that next year you laugh about what a disaster it was this year and see if you can find someone who could invite you round for tea on pancake day.