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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys?

364 replies

brightmonitorx2 · 28/02/2022 21:23

I did not realise this was a thing until I buzzed my 3 year olds hair in lockdown (had tried and failed to cut it so had to buzz).
My mother hated it, friends made comments. I then googled and people say it's trashy or something 🤷‍♀️
I thought it was cute and he is asking me to do it again because longer hair annoys him.
It was also way easier to bath/dry as he hates hair wash etc.

I want to do it again but so people thing it looks trashy/chavy whatever?

I know I shouldn't care what others think but I do 😬

OP posts:
FelixViolet · 01/03/2022 19:40

Pressed send early

I thought they were saying they don't have negative associations with the style on black boys, just on white ones

OlympicProcrastinator · 01/03/2022 19:42

I could be wrong, but I interpreted that as she has negative associations with it on white boys (skinheads etc), whereas it's OK on afro hair because it's a way of "managing" the hair. I could be wrong, of course

That’s exactly what she meant. And I’m saying that’s racist.

FelixViolet · 01/03/2022 19:47

That’s exactly what she meant. And I’m saying that’s racist.

Ah, I thought it wasn't racist because they didn't look at it negatively with black boys. So, it would be less racist for them to have said it's thuggish on everyone, regardless of race. Apologies, thank you for explaining that.

FelixViolet · 01/03/2022 19:54

Oh, hang on, is it that the post implies the hair needs to be "managed" in the first place? Blush sorry, I was being a bit dense there!! I thought they meant managed as in because it was easier to care for like that, similar with braids... not because we disparage natural black hair (which we do of course). I read it wrong.

lightisnotwhite · 01/03/2022 21:05

@OlympicProcrastinator

How is black skin got anything to do with a fashion choice

Have you ever considered that for some of us, our natural hair, cultural hair or style is subject to this sort of prejudice and ‘just discussing negative associations’ is actually reinforcing harmful views that many of us can’t just ‘fashion’ ourselves out of.
Even the poster who said ‘oh it’s ok on Afro hair’ might not think they are being racist, but they are. Why is it ‘ok’ for black boys to have a buzz cut if you have so many nasty associations with it? Have a think about it.

So what are you saying black mens hair choices don’t reflect personal choice? A buzz cut, flattop, cornrows, an Afro or dreadlocks for example are just reflections of white societies prejudices?

You can have boring hair , messy hair or extreme hair whatever colour/ race you are,

Borland · 01/03/2022 21:23

Not my kid. Replace your phrase "the kids I know with buzz cuts are " with "the kids I know with black skin are " and have a good old think about yourself

What the actual what?! This makes zero sense - the kids I personally know with buzz cuts do come from football crazed families, I never said anything about your kid. But perhaps my remark was too close to the bone for you. By the way I am not white, Interesting you thought that I must be racist because I said something that you didn't like - maybe you are the one who should be having a good think about yourself and your assumptions.

MadgeMak · 01/03/2022 21:28

Where did I say you were racist? I was making a point about stereotypes and how harmful they can be. You also didn't attribute the buzz cut wearing kids as being merely "football crazed", you were the insinuating something else entirely.

Borland · 01/03/2022 21:40

@MadgeMak

Where did I say you were racist? I was making a point about stereotypes and how harmful they can be. You also didn't attribute the buzz cut wearing kids as being merely "football crazed", you were the insinuating something else entirely.
Of course you implied that by bringing race into it, don't back track and be so disingenuous. I specifically said I was speaking about kids I knew personally so therefore being careful not to stereotype ffs. And I wasn't 'insinuating' anything, I think I was being quite overt.
ButtockUp · 01/03/2022 21:47

Buzz cuts will die out soon enough.
Like long hair on boys have.

It'll be something else soon... kids hair fashions always change but, strangely enough, baby girls with all of their three strands of hair piled up in a top knot with a stupid oversized bow keeps lingering.

MadgeMak · 01/03/2022 21:52

I'm not back tracking or being disingenuous, not my fault you didn't understand the point I was making, that stereotypes are harmful regardless of whether they are based in your personal reality. It's irrelevant that you were supposedly only referencing kids you know personally, isn't it? Just like it's harmful if someone was to invoke a stereotype about black people to prove their point too.

HAF1119 · 01/03/2022 21:53

Whatever hair style you and DC like is all that matters :)

Mine has it shaved on occasion, he's 2.5 but he gets really excited by having it really short and when he sees it is really happy. He says 'hair too long' when it's getting long

When he was younger he had it longer but I must admit I find it smarter short (it's not as short as a buzz when shaved - either a 3 or 4 slightly longer on top - but it is short)

I think the boys all look cute whatever length. Personal preference, genuinely not worried what anyone else thinks

And I have had a few (grandparents) say 'that's too short he won't like that' but he says 'I like my hair short I like hair cut' lol then they go quiet

Skydaze · 01/03/2022 22:13

For those who are amused at boys being "annoyed" by longer hair, DS1 (9 at the time) wanted a floppy haircut so he grew it and we had it styled. It looked amazing. However, he also is prone to developing physical tics and within a week had developed a very noticeable head-jerk motion to flip the hair across his forehead - every few minutes with increasing force and completely involuntary. Classmates picked up on it, it caused extremely tight sore neck muscles and headaches, and ended in DS highly distressed in tears one night because he couldn't stop the tic and he was in so much pain. He chose a #4 the next day and we've kept it short to medium-short ever since - his choice.

DS2 conversely embraces the Westie bogan look and would wear his surfer hair forever and a day - we mostly let him and only cut when he says it's too hot / in his ears. I agree with PP who said people don't generally grow boys hair to the same length as girls, so it's often more annoying and difficult to manage as ponytails, buns and hair clips / bands aren't as much of an option for boys. Some of our local schools have even banned "man buns" or ponytails on boys which is just ridiculous. Hair is just hair, and it shouldn't be the domain of anyone but the person who it belongs to.

Borland · 01/03/2022 22:18

@MadgeMak

I'm not back tracking or being disingenuous, not my fault you didn't understand the point I was making, that stereotypes are harmful regardless of whether they are based in your personal reality. It's irrelevant that you were supposedly only referencing kids you know personally, isn't it? Just like it's harmful if someone was to invoke a stereotype about black people to prove their point too.
I haven't misunderstood anything but I think you are missing the point of a discussion board, people discuss their own experiences and give their opinions based on what the OP was asking. The OP asked why people don't like buzz cuts on kids therefore inviting people's personal opinions, and my experience of kids with buzz cuts is what I gave. It's not really in your gift to police the thread and chastise other posters. Thanks so much for your patronising explanation of the dangers of stereotypes though, you've really made the world a better place tonight.
MadgeMak · 01/03/2022 22:34

I only further explained what my initial post was pertaining to because you got the wrong end of the stick in the first place, perhaps if you'd actually considered what I was actually saying instead of knee jerk reacting with how dare you call me a racist then I wouldn't have had to.

Thanks for your (also patronising) explanation of a discussion board. People offer opinions, other people respond in agreement or otherwise. Which is what I'm doing.

brightmonitorx2 · 01/03/2022 22:34

Honestly, this thread kind of has put me off letting him have a buzz cut and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but it makes me a bit sad.

OP posts:
RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 01/03/2022 22:35

For those who are amused at boys being "annoyed" by longer hair, DS1

When ds1 was about 9 he decided his fringe was too long and was winding him up so he took a pair of scissors to it

Cut right into the hairline and hacked at the back as well, took masses off all over

The hairdresser was shut for training but very kindly agreed to open, she looked at it and said ‘ you know there is no way i can salvage this’ 😀

Borland · 01/03/2022 22:37

@MadgeMak

I only further explained what my initial post was pertaining to because you got the wrong end of the stick in the first place, perhaps if you'd actually considered what I was actually saying instead of knee jerk reacting with how dare you call me a racist then I wouldn't have had to.

Thanks for your (also patronising) explanation of a discussion board. People offer opinions, other people respond in agreement or otherwise. Which is what I'm doing.

I'll let you have the last word then as it's obviously really important to you so I won't address your comment :)
RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 01/03/2022 22:37

@brightmonitorx2

Honestly, this thread kind of has put me off letting him have a buzz cut and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but it makes me a bit sad.
It seems a shame that he can’t have the easy to maintain haircut he would like

If people are bing mean in real life well I suppose thats fair enough

But I wouldn’t take the opinion of anyone on here whatever they believe

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 01/03/2022 22:38

Being

Bloody ipad 😀

5zeds · 01/03/2022 22:42

I like buzz cuts. It’s a fairly standard cut for boys/men. I really doubt people think we’re “chavvy”. I’m not keen on mullets or longer hair and associate that “look” with 70s footballers.

HikingforScenery · 01/03/2022 22:52

@LowlandLucky

If you think a 3 year old looks thuggish you are the problem not the child
100% this
Skydaze · 01/03/2022 22:53

@RufustheFloralmissingreindeer oh gosh I could so see my youngest doing that Grin love the hairdressers comment!

VestaTilley · 01/03/2022 23:03

Firstly, as long as your DS is happy and his school are happy then please don’t worry about what others think. That style is far more common place now so not quite as surprising on a small boy as it used to be.

Personally I think it’s reminiscent of army hair styles in the US, and I don’t like seeing children’s hair clipped like that. But it’s not worth losing sleep over. My DS has a traditional little boy’s scissor cut, but if he wants it shorter when he’s older I don’t I’ll make a thing of it.

VestaTilley · 01/03/2022 23:03

*doubt

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 01/03/2022 23:03

sky

The dreadful thing was i didn’t notice for ages…and he honestly had bald patches 😀

Ive still no idea what he did with the hair clippings 🤔

Took photos…natch