To not understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys?

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I did not realise this was a thing until I buzzed my 3 year olds hair in lockdown (had tried and failed to cut it so had to buzz).
My mother hated it, friends made comments. I then googled and people say it's trashy or something 🤷‍♀️
I thought it was cute and he is asking me to do it again because longer hair annoys him.
It was also way easier to bath/dry as he hates hair wash etc.

I want to do it again but so people thing it looks trashy/chavy whatever?

I know I shouldn't care what others think but I do 😬

"Personally I think anyone who associates a pre schooler with 'thug' has a problem. He is 3!"

Nobody here is actually accusing a 3 year old of being a thug. To many people, though, it presents an image of the family as a whole as wanting to appear aggressive, hard, unsophisticated or tough. This is because of the long-standing cultural associations with the haircut itself, and ideas about certain UK subcultures wanting to give "adult" or "aggressive" attributes to young children.

It's easy to call it "snobbery" but it's not that simple. Certain things have an enduring and widely-felt cultural resonance to them. That doesn't change no matter how accepting and non-judgemental you or I might want to be.

[quote CallMeDean]@houseofholbein

And you look fabulous! It really does suit you. [/quote]
Thank you! Wish I’d done it years ago tbh.

Love that the last two "I'm proud of being working class!" posters have both used c--- as a direct insult.

I'd rather be seen as a snob, if that's how we're doing things.

I have done this regularly with my sons. Whenever the "nits in school" letter comes home I just shave their heads. They look sweet. We live in Spain and perhaps there aren't the same prejudices about it.

skin heads

There are some VILE opinions on this thread.

It doesn''t matter what a child's hair looks like. Give them the hair cut that you like and that they like. That is all that matters. IT'S JUST HAIR.

I would be absolutely ashamed of myself if I was ignorant enough to spout some of snobbish crap people here are coming out with. And all this 'Well, short hair equals toxic masculinity in little boys, my son has longer hair because I want to subvert stereotypes' is such a laughable excuse for your attitude. If you really wanted to subvert gender stereotypes, you'd all give your little girls a short back and sides.

You want your little boys to have long hair because it's a middle-class fashion trend at the moment and you want them to look like they've just stepped out of a Boden catalogue. That's absolutely fine. But 1) at least admit that instead of tying yourself in knots trying to pretend it's something it's not and 2) accept that IT IS JUST HAIR and says nothing whatsoever about whether you or your child is nice or not.

It's easy to call it "snobbery" but it's not that simple.

I'm afraid it really is that simple. Sorry to burst your bubble.

my ex used to give our son a buzzcut he hated it, he looked like a skinhead and he got bullied at school for it.

his father was a nutcase who kept bitching that any hair longer then 2 inches looked like a girl and was convinced our son would be bullied in school for having long hair.

now he's gone my son has long hair almost down to his shoulders and he loves it, people at school say he looks like an anime character and he doesnt get bullied anymore for his hair.

@FelixViolet

I don't think its a class thing particularly its just not wanting to symbolically brand "I am a boy and I think its very important to look like a boy" on a male child's forehead

But you don't say the same about girls with long hair "I am a girl and I think it's very important to look like a girl".

I probably would say the same about a female child whose parents dressed her up to look like Violet Elizabeth Bott, all ribbons and whatnot. Extreme masculine/feminine stereotypes are not a great look on any children.

But since you ask, buzz-cuts do have certain toxic associations which long hair (on children of either sex) don't have. That cut has historically been associated with a certain sort of authoritarianism/brutal masculinity/militarism and at the extremes with far right groups.

Clearly not every parent who buzz-cuts their child's hair is a neo nazi or a member of a sectarian terrorist group or a thug. By a long chalk. And of course there are a million practical reasons for doing it. But its not snobbish to be aware of those associations.

From my perspective, the OP asked why some people didn't like them and I just think they have certain unpleasant connotations. That doesn't mean I will assume all parents hold those views. But the associations are there.

It isn’t just a haircut, it’s the traditional haircut of neo-nazis and prison inmates. Film directors sometimes give it to actors in a movie to show that their character is a psycho/bully.

That’s why people are reacting to it.

It’s a bit like certain breeds of dog, I suppose. Some people get bull or guard breeds because they just wanted a dog but others definitely get them as a sort of display of aggression.

I equate really short hair cuts with the same people who dress their children in Nike or Adidas tracksuits. I don’t like that look at all. I wouldn’t judge a child but i think we all make snap judgements based on how others present themselves.

It always makes me laugh that people on here look down on people in the army, yet are the first to scream “bring the army in” as soon as something goes awry. You’re all absolute bloody hypocrites and some of your floppy, haired little boys might want to be soldiers when they grow up too, you know.

This thread is actually disgusting. It’s one of the worst I’ve seen on here in a long time. DS2 shaved his head in lockdown, so while you all stuck your noses in the air and thought he was “poor, chavvy and thuggish etc” you couldn’t have been more wrong. It was so his mask would get a good seal when he was saving lives in A&E. I’d hate to live inside your heads.

longer/shorter boys' hair really suits some kids, not others. like my now 10 year old son has quite thin, lank hair, prone to being greasy, much as I'd [sometimes] like him to have flowing locks, hair that's longer than a couple of centimetres long just doesn't look good on him. over the last few years he's fairly consistently had short hair, a roughly a # 2 or #3 crop at the back & sides and usually [not always] a grade or two longer on top.

@FelixViolet I think the girls equivalent is those giant bows in their hair.

I equate really short hair cuts with the same people who dress their children in Nike or Adidas

And what type of people are they, then? Are they really bad people?

@FelixViolet I think the girls equivalent is those giant bows in their hair

Unsure how. Girls having long hair is a stereotype just the same as boys having short hair, but boys having really short hair is an issue, but girls having really long hair isn't. It doesn't make any sense.

Length of hair is a stereotype for both.

I don’t personally like buzz cuts on kids but it’s not because of some of the odd (and snobbish) reasons on here!

@incognitoforthisone

It's easy to call it "snobbery" but it's not that simple.

I'm afraid it really is that simple. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Exactly. All those people saying that 'short haircuts are associated with X, Y or Z' are the very ones who are perpetuating the stereotype.

Just because you associate short hair with 'thug' in your tiny mind, doesn't make it an acceptable viewpoint to hold.

And all this 'Well, short hair equals toxic masculinity in little boys, my son has longer hair because I want to subvert stereotypes' is such a laughable excuse for your attitude. If you really wanted to subvert gender stereotypes, you'd all give your little girls a short back and sides.

Precisely. I hope they put all their little boys in dresses every day and don't let them have anything with dinosaurs on them either, if "masculine stereotypes" are the issue with a buzz-cut. Just because your son has longer hair doesn't mean he doesn't still fit the masculine stereotype, because you're still cutting it shorter than most girls have theirs, and they probably all still wear traditionally masculine clothes the majority of the time.

I'd happily give me son a buzz-cut, I'd happily dress him in Air Max and Nike tracksuits, but I'd equally let him paint his nails and wear floral tops, tell him if he wanted long hair he could have it, let him be the princess.

This idea that you can judge me and my ideas about gender stereotypes just because you saw my child with a buzz-cut in a tracksuit is ridiculous.

Most children these days won't know much about football hooligans and all the old associations with buzz cuts. I did my dc's hair in the early 00's and I honestly never gave it a thought - I was thinking about my children's hatred for hair washing and prevalence of nuts in their primary school and nothing else. So all this nasty, snobbish association is being perpetuated by people who really are old enough to know and do better.

It's easy to call it "snobbery"

Wonder why that is?

Oh wait...

To many people, though, it presents an image of the family as a whole as wanting to appear aggressive, hard, unsophisticated or tough.

And all this 'Well, short hair equals toxic masculinity in little boys, my son has longer hair because I want to subvert stereotypes' is such a laughable excuse for your attitude. If you really wanted to subvert gender stereotypes, you'd all give your little girls a short back and sides.

People keep trotting out this "what about boys with long hair" thing but its a bit of an irrelevance: it's not particularly about subverting gender stereotypes.

a) Long hair doesn't have any particularly negative political overtones for children of either sex. Certain parents may not like it on boys (and that's a whole other thread) but it isn't associated with the far right.
b) It's not as if your only option is a buzz cut or long hair. There are plenty of standard short haircuts which you can choose which don't scream authoritarianism and toxic masculinity.

I wouldn't be inclined to get a buzz cut for either a boy or a girl for the same reasons, that I think it has overtones which I'm not wildly keen to signal. If a child of mine desperately wanted it it might be a different matter but I wouldn't be thrilled. I would be no more inclined to get it for a girl than a boy.

It's not particularly gendered for me -- I think my barely-conscious associations are with coercion (prisoners, conscription, 'punishments' of female collaborators etc).

People do get incredibly het up about small children's hairstyles, though. I remember when DS was about three and his hair was longer than usual just because he hated having it cut, and a neighbour I barely knew to talk to came up to me just after he'd had it cut, and cried 'Oh, we all WONDERED when you were going to cut it!'. I said I hadn't realised things were so quiet in the village that a toddler's hair could attract such excitement.