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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys?

364 replies

brightmonitorx2 · 28/02/2022 21:23

I did not realise this was a thing until I buzzed my 3 year olds hair in lockdown (had tried and failed to cut it so had to buzz).
My mother hated it, friends made comments. I then googled and people say it's trashy or something 🤷‍♀️
I thought it was cute and he is asking me to do it again because longer hair annoys him.
It was also way easier to bath/dry as he hates hair wash etc.

I want to do it again but so people thing it looks trashy/chavy whatever?

I know I shouldn't care what others think but I do 😬

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/03/2022 14:15

@Amnotamug

My sons are both in their 20s…absolutely no way would they have their hair destroyed by a buzz cut…they are too cool and definitely do not want to be looking like a chav !!
Destroyed? Get a massive grip.
ImAvingOops · 01/03/2022 14:19

@shrunkenhead

It doesn't assume the 3 year old to be "thuggish", but it speaks volumes about the parents if they think this is the sort of hairstyle that will ensure they do well in life...research the history of skinhead fashion and you might think differently about how to style your child's hair.
My kids had this haircut and have done well in life.
CallMeDean · 01/03/2022 14:20

think this is the sort of hairstyle that will ensure they do well in life

My uncle has always had one and he's done very well in life. Ditto, his sons also have them and he's instilled his amazing work-ethic into them. Some people would say they dress like "chavs", but they are nice young men, both work hard at their jobs, and one is also in university. None are doing badly.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't have buzz-cuts who have done worse than them.

LondonWolf · 01/03/2022 14:23

@CallMeDean

think this is the sort of hairstyle that will ensure they do well in life

My uncle has always had one and he's done very well in life. Ditto, his sons also have them and he's instilled his amazing work-ethic into them. Some people would say they dress like "chavs", but they are nice young men, both work hard at their jobs, and one is also in university. None are doing badly.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't have buzz-cuts who have done worse than them.

Multiple family members and friends had these cuts because they were military. Some of them have done very well, achieving high rank and living their lives abroad in charge of huge military organisations, learning languages etc, keeping various defence installations secure. I suppose MNetters wouldn't think that as being successful in The Right Way though...
rainbowmash · 01/03/2022 14:28

@CallMeDean

think this is the sort of hairstyle that will ensure they do well in life

My uncle has always had one and he's done very well in life. Ditto, his sons also have them and he's instilled his amazing work-ethic into them. Some people would say they dress like "chavs", but they are nice young men, both work hard at their jobs, and one is also in university. None are doing badly.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't have buzz-cuts who have done worse than them.

That's great, but the original post was "I don't understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys", not "I think everyone with a buzz cut is dodgy with a crap job - prove me wrong with anecdotal evidence".

Nobody has claimed that everyone with a #3 cut or shorter is a violent waster.

Half the people here are explaining truthfully that there exists a prevalent cultural link between buzz cuts on toddlers and aggression/trad. gender roles/poverty (whether or not that link is true, nice, or useful). The other half are deciding to take it personally.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 01/03/2022 14:31

@DyingForACuppa

I'm amused by people who claim they cut their sons hair short for practical reasons (or because 'it annoys them') when they would never buzz cut their girls hair. Girls have magical powers to make long hair practical and not to be annoyed I guess Grin.
My eldest has a buzz cut in lockdown as they were both due a cut. My youngest point blank refused when he saw his dad and brother and hasn't had his hair cut sinc 🤣 its halfway down his back now. He has it ties up and clipped back for school
CallMeDean · 01/03/2022 14:32

That's great, but the original post was "I don't understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys", not "I think everyone with a buzz cut is dodgy with a crap job - prove me wrong with anecdotal evidence".

Was I replying to the OP, or was I replying to someone who said they judge parents as it's not the type of hairstyle to ensure you do well in life? Hmm

KMTKaren · 01/03/2022 14:43

@IHateWasps

It looks thuggish. It makes me think of This Is England.
Was also going to say it reminds me of this is England. However don’t personally find it thuggish. It is just a hair style after all Smile
OlympicProcrastinator · 01/03/2022 16:11

Should we not have answered the OPs question just to prove we're not snobs? The fact is that our culture causes some things to be linked with others. We could sit here and virtue-signal and polish our halos all day because those links are "not nice", but that doesn't make them any less real

No. Nobody should be saying anything about their disgusting attitudes that have been shown on here. Nobody should be answering the OP’s question by saying, for example, ‘it speaks volumes about the parents’ and about how well the kids might do in life. Nobody should be calling kids chavs or thugs. Do you not realise by offering those opinions you are reinforcing and validating discrimination?

boobot1 · 01/03/2022 16:33

@Blueuggboots

I'd much rather see a young boy with a buzz cut than the utterly ridiculous fashion for long curls on young boys that seems to abound currently!
I love long hair on a little boy
mumof2exhausted · 01/03/2022 16:43

It looks thuggish / scally. And also I’d assume that they had nits so all had to be shaved off. Makes young boys look much older which I don’t like either.

Lifedonttalktomeaboutlife · 01/03/2022 16:51

“I'm amused by people who claim they cut their sons hair short for practical reasons (or because 'it annoys them') when they would never buzz cut their girls hair. Girls have magical powers to make long hair practical and not to be annoyed I guess“

@DyingForACuppa - I’m one of those posters. I’m amused by the huge assumption there. If it made my girls life better and she wanted it I would absolutely cut off all her hair same as I did for my son.

boobot1 · 01/03/2022 16:58

I don't have any negative associations with a buzz cut, I just think its harsh and unforgiving.

bellamountain · 01/03/2022 17:02

I think it's money, it can cost a bit every 6 weeks for a decent boys haircut into a style. A simple trim on girls long hair or all over with the clippers on a boy doesn't cost anything. However, I take my son to the salon. I like him to have a smart floppy haircut!

OneTC · 01/03/2022 17:11

Half the people here are explaining truthfully that there exists a prevalent cultural link between buzz cuts on toddlers and aggression/trad. gender roles/poverty (whether or not that link is true, nice, or useful).

It doesn't assume the 3 year old to be "thuggish", but it speaks volumes about the parents if they think this is the sort of hairstyle that will ensure they do well in life...research the history of skinhead fashion and you might think differently about how to style your child's hair

Where does the above comment fit in on that 50:50 divide?

I understand that some people do view it as thuggish, there's enough people itt who've said precisely that is their opinion, not offering an impartial commentary on social attitudes.

When explaining why some people view it as thuggish or aggressive or far right you could just say "because some people are fucking stupid" rather than basically justifying the position

HouseofHolbein · 01/03/2022 17:17

My daughter copied me with a buzz cut. My eldest daughter has done the same at times. It’s hair. It grows back 🤷‍♀️

balalake · 01/03/2022 17:25

Looks awful, and you should be teaching a child to take care and wash their hair, not dodging the issue. Tough love in my view, the sooner any child is aware there are things to do which are not lovely, the better.

CallMeDean · 01/03/2022 17:50

do some research into skinhead culture, maybe then...

Dr Martens used to have some bad associations, although they are very fashionable now.

I used to match my Doc laces to my hair. I remember having purple hair with purple laces, and blue hair with blue laces. Well, turns out there is a whole culture of symbolism with Dr Martens laces. Purple laces are apparently a gay pride signifier, and blue is something to do with hating law enforcement. But that certainly wasn't why I was wearing them. Red apparently means you are a neo-nazi ("laces of Red, they want Jews dead").

Can't say I would judge someone with red laces in their Docs, even knowing the history. I would judge them for their personality, how they speak about people, their beliefs, their treatment and empathy of others etc.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 01/03/2022 18:12

@DyingForACuppa

I'm amused by people who claim they cut their sons hair short for practical reasons (or because 'it annoys them') when they would never buzz cut their girls hair. Girls have magical powers to make long hair practical and not to be annoyed I guess Grin.
Dd didn’t want her hair buzz cut

And neither did ds1

So we didn’t do it to either of them

lightisnotwhite · 01/03/2022 19:07

@Empressofthemundane

A lot of postes have pointed out the class bias on this thread. The misandry is going unchallenged.

Not all masculinity is toxic. There are traditional masculine virtues: a willingness to take risks to move things forward; discipline; bravery; self sacrifice; protectiveness;etc.

When you look at a buzz cut you can see a skin head or a military man. Your perception says more about you than them. It’s a litmus test for your feelings on masculinity: do you appreciate it? Or are you afraid of it?

Interesting . I’d have said the opposite. The long hair on rock musicians/ rugby players is far more masculine to my way of thinking.

A shaved head is also about loss of identity. The nuns and monks the army haircut.

Plenty of threads on mumsnet are about women with long hair selling out to the male notions of masculinity. We aren’t all the same and we have choices. Why is it wrong is it discuss them?

MadgeMak · 01/03/2022 19:08

@Borland

They just look awful, and the kids I know with buzz cuts are wearing their dad's football team's strip from such an early age and are brainwashed into that kind of awful tribalism that football brings out in so many men.
Not my kid. Replace your phrase "the kids I know with buzz cuts are " with "the kids I know with black skin are " and have a good old think about yourself.
lightisnotwhite · 01/03/2022 19:26

How is black skin got anything to do with a fashion choice?

OlympicProcrastinator · 01/03/2022 19:34

How is black skin got anything to do with a fashion choice

Have you ever considered that for some of us, our natural hair, cultural hair or style is subject to this sort of prejudice and ‘just discussing negative associations’ is actually reinforcing harmful views that many of us can’t just ‘fashion’ ourselves out of.
Even the poster who said ‘oh it’s ok on Afro hair’ might not think they are being racist, but they are. Why is it ‘ok’ for black boys to have a buzz cut if you have so many nasty associations with it? Have a think about it.

Cheekypeach · 01/03/2022 19:36

There was a thread a while back about little boys with long hair. One or two posters said they didn’t like it, that it looked twee and a bit wet. They were absolutely piled on, lots of posts of ‘it’s only hair’ and ‘stop projecting your stereotypes’.

Interesting to see MN doesn’t hold the same view when it comes to ‘chavvy’ haircuts isn’t it?

FelixViolet · 01/03/2022 19:39

Why is it ‘ok’ for black boys to have a buzz cut if you have so many nasty associations with it? Have a think about it.

I could be wrong, but I interpreted that as she has negative associations with it on white boys (skinheads etc), whereas it's OK on afro hair because it's a way of "managing" the hair. I could be wrong, of course.