To not understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys?

[brightmonitorx2]

I did not realise this was a thing until I buzzed my 3 year olds hair in lockdown (had tried and failed to cut it so had to buzz).
My mother hated it, friends made comments. I then googled and people say it's trashy or something 🤷‍♀️
I thought it was cute and he is asking me to do it again because longer hair annoys him.
It was also way easier to bath/dry as he hates hair wash etc.

I want to do it again but so people thing it looks trashy/chavy whatever?

I know I shouldn't care what others think but I do 😬

Is this a grown out buzz cut? This is the little boy from American Gothic TV show from 1990s. I always thought he look very cute.

I always thought he looked cute

Cute!? He looks like he'll be smoking at the back of the school by the age of 12, innit

Knew a load of boys with longer hair who did that anyway.

@Roarsomemore that's it! That is pretty much exactly what my little boys hair was like and how he wants it again. Same colour as well.
I didn't know it was grown out 🤷‍♀️

Everyone saying to do a longer one, my practical problem is that I can't blend the shorter sides into the longer top myself (I've watched the videos and tried, I am just crap at it).

Interesting point about the tv characters and buzz cuts. I was thinking about River Phoenix in Stand By Me because that's sort of how my boy looks but I suppose he was meant to be the "bad kid" in the show, and actually he goes on to disprove all those (and these current) horrible stereotypes. Main theme of the film.

Saying that, Vern also has a buzz cut if I remember correctly.

I wonder if it's quite American (I love American!).

A lot of the whole class wars thing wrt appearance is based on different perceptions of what is age appropriate. So if my DH chooses a grade 3, or an older boy chooses a more fashion look, that doesn't mean I want the same for my young primary aged children.

@brightmonitorx2
I was thinking of River Phonix too! These little boys remind me of my brother in the 80s. He was so sweet. Everyone brings their different perceptions and experiences, don't they.

Nobody has a ‘tiny mind’ because that mind has soaked up certain images presented by society. Places I’ve seen shaved heads recently: TV dramas where the protagonist is being punished or coerced (it’s a cliche), reports on prisoners in other countries, a really upsetting article about a teenager whose father shaved her head as punishment. This fits with what I’ve seen over the course of my life and as a result I associate this style with loss of control and individuality.

Tiny minds comes into it when we refuse to accept that those images may not be the end of the story - people choose it for themselves! it can really suit them! - but I don’t think I’m disgusting or unacceptable for an initial reaction.

@HouseofHolbein

You really remind me of Miranda Richardson (and totally rock the buzz cut).

When my son was 4 he saw stars being shaved into hair at the barbers and wanted it for himself. He was 4. It made him happy. I took him to a playgroup and it was brilliant. I quickly got to see who made sarky comments and gave us funny looks and who just saw a little boy who enjoyed a buzz cut with stars in his hair and complimented him.
I knew straight away who I definitely wouldn’t be making friends with and who was worth developing friendships with.
Years later we still have a couple of friends from that group.
And my son is now 16 and still hasn’t committed a crime or whatever else some people judged us over his hair thought he’d do.

@JunkIsland

Nobody has a ‘tiny mind’ because that mind has soaked up certain images presented by society. Places I’ve seen shaved heads recently: TV dramas where the protagonist is being punished or coerced (it’s a cliche), reports on prisoners in other countries, a really upsetting article about a teenager whose father shaved her head as punishment. This fits with what I’ve seen over the course of my life and as a result I associate this style with loss of control and individuality.

Tiny minds comes into it when we refuse to accept that those images may not be the end of the story - people choose it for themselves! it can really suit them! - but I don’t think I’m disgusting or unacceptable for an initial reaction.

This. We don't live in a social vacuum.

It would be horribly snobbish to decide that someone was automatically a chav or a thug because they shaved their kid's head.

It's not snobbish to point out that these hair cuts have certain negative associations.

It's not snobbish to point out that these hair cuts have certain negative associations

That’s exactly what it is. If you keep pointing out negative connotations associated with someone’s features you are perpetuating the prejudice. Even if you say, ‘well I’m just saying OTHER people think like that but of course I can see past that.’

I have knee jerk, negative reactions to both buzz cuts on young boys and floppy haired do's, tbh. It doesn't mean you can't look past them to see the individual doesn't fit your gut response, but it is a natural part of how people think.

@FelixViolet

Why is it OK to look down on "chavs"?

Because poor people don't have to look like chavs? It's not a culture... it's a look. Don't want to look like a chav? Then don't.

Because poor people don't have to look like chavs? It's not a culture... it's a look. Don't want to look like a chav? Then don't.

I know they don't. But if they like wearing that style of clothes, what's the issue? Why do they deserve scorn for dressing a certain way? I just don't get what's wrong with the "chav" look anyway

I'm amused by people who claim they cut their sons hair short for practical reasons (or because 'it annoys them') when they would never buzz cut their girls hair. Girls have magical powers to make long hair practical and not to be annoyed I guess .

A lot of postes have pointed out the class bias on this thread. The misandry is going unchallenged.

Not all masculinity is toxic. There are traditional masculine virtues: a willingness to take risks to move things forward; discipline; bravery; self sacrifice; protectiveness;etc.

When you look at a buzz cut you can see a skin head or a military man. Your perception says more about you than them. It’s a litmus test for your feelings on masculinity: do you appreciate it? Or are you afraid of it?

@Empressofthemundane

A lot of postes have pointed out the class bias on this thread. The misandry is going unchallenged.

Not all masculinity is toxic. There are traditional masculine virtues: a willingness to take risks to move things forward; discipline; bravery; self sacrifice; protectiveness;etc.

When you look at a buzz cut you can see a skin head or a military man. Your perception says more about you than them. It’s a litmus test for your feelings on masculinity: do you appreciate it? Or are you afraid of it?

That's why people have been specifying toxic masculinity...

Girls have magical powers to make long hair practical and not to be annoyed I guess grin.

It's because they don't actually let their sons have hair as long as the girls. t
They grow it to that awkward length where you can't tie it up or braid it out if the way, it just sort of flops there.
If they let it grow to a length where they could put it in a ponytail or a bun, it may not annoy their sons as much.

But, yes, people often feel more comfortable taking a young boy's hair shorter than they do girl's, because society has ingrained that as a gender expectation.

thuggish" 3 year olds?
A 3 well 3.5 year old once called me a cunt when I did a home visit to support mum! The child kept getting mums chin and turning it to him to get her attention and wouldnt let me talk to her. I asked if I could talk to mummy for a few minutes and that was the response.
Of course it is learned behaviour but it doesnt bode well. I wont go into whether he had a buzz cut or not!! 🤣

My boys have had both short and long hair. There's no toxic masculinity in my house, no football hooligans or neo Nazis or thugs either. Their haircut has literally made zero difference to how they turned out in life. Anyone who would negatively judge a family on this basis are fucking weird and horrible.

They just look awful, and the kids I know with buzz cuts are wearing their dad's football team's strip from such an early age and are brainwashed into that kind of awful tribalism that football brings out in so many men.

Feminine isn't a bad thing, but neither is being working class and/or "chavvy". It's like people who look down on the trainers and tracksuit wearers (not gym wear). Why?

That’s what I was saying. Nothing is wrong with either, but people will judge or have certain associations regardless.

I am curious though. Is nits/lice that common here on the U.K.? I remember having those checks in primary school once in a blue moon, but never had them nor knew anyone who had them personally.

Once those routine checks stopped, nits became more frequent. It needs the whole class and all the families to be checked and treated at the same time ideally to nip it in the bud.
Some parents are very lax at dealing with nits

"It's not snobbish to point out that these hair cuts have certain negative associations"

"That’s exactly what it is. If you keep pointing out negative connotations associated with someone’s features you are perpetuating the prejudice. Even if you say, ‘well I’m just saying OTHER people think like that but of course I can see past that.’"

Should we not have answered the OPs question just to prove we're not snobs? The fact is that our culture causes some things to be linked with others. We could sit here and virtue-signal and polish our halos all day because those links are "not nice", but that doesn't make them any less real.

I don't think the cultural link between buzz cuts and lower-class brutishness is "nice" either! But it won't go away just because we consider ourselves too pure to even mention it. I think the last thing that's going to perpetuate a stereotype is an open discussion about the cultural connotations involved, and the history/background/context of that stereotype, nice or not.

I was reminded of this thread this morning when I saw a sweet little boy with a buzz cut in a London Park with his family. They all had suitcases and were speaking another language, obvs just arrived on holiday. I did wonder to myself how they'd feel if they knew how many people here would be sneering at them and judging their little boy "thuggish" and rough looking.

It doesn't assume the 3 year old to be "thuggish", but it speaks volumes about the parents if they think this is the sort of hairstyle that will ensure they do well in life...research the history of skinhead fashion and you might think differently about how to style your child's hair.