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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys?

364 replies

brightmonitorx2 · 28/02/2022 21:23

I did not realise this was a thing until I buzzed my 3 year olds hair in lockdown (had tried and failed to cut it so had to buzz).
My mother hated it, friends made comments. I then googled and people say it's trashy or something 🤷‍♀️
I thought it was cute and he is asking me to do it again because longer hair annoys him.
It was also way easier to bath/dry as he hates hair wash etc.

I want to do it again but so people thing it looks trashy/chavy whatever?

I know I shouldn't care what others think but I do 😬

OP posts:
ihatesoaps · 01/03/2022 09:20

As others have said...chavvy and thuggish.
Hate that look on little boys....

FelixViolet · 01/03/2022 09:22

I agree class markers exist, I just don't understand why being seen as WC and not MC is a bad thing.

FelixViolet · 01/03/2022 09:24

I don't think its a class thing particularly its just not wanting to symbolically brand "I am a boy and I think its very important to look like a boy" on a male child's forehead

But you don't say the same about girls with long hair "I am a girl and I think it's very important to look like a girl".

OneTC · 01/03/2022 09:32

How is having a buzzcut like being a skinhead?

Skins, the clue is in the name

In the 70s my mum loved me having long hair, when I got old enough to choose I cropped it off and have worn the same style ever since

No one, as far as I know, has ever thought oh look at that racist, and if they have then who gives a fuck because they're obviously hard of thinking

Fallingonice · 01/03/2022 09:32

I grew up in a very working class town and I don’t think (in my experience, anyway) the parents of the buzz-headed counterparts are commenting on how awful it is that anyone would judge a child’s haircut.

Try sending a floppy-haired child to school there - you’ll be told to your face ‘get some gel on that hair’ (yep really.) It goes with an incredible nosiness about everything you are doing as well and can be really oppressive and really enforces a small c conservatism, it is a real pressure to conform that manifests in attention to every tiny detail. Trainers, brand names, haircuts …

Maybe it is snobby but I don’t care, give me the middle class world where girls can wear boys hand me downs and boys can have floppy hair a thousand times!

Skydaze · 01/03/2022 09:46

DS2 is known for bombing about with his number 4 wearing sparkly nailpolish and sparkly rainbow gumboots so the haircut/ gender-role thing is not our experience at all.

And honestly, what is so bad about looking "poor" / working class? Being poor is hardly a character flaw (as much as capitalist societies want to paint it as such, so that way they can blame the people and ignore horrific systemic inequality that they might actually gasp be complicit in - but I digress).

IMO looking down on a certain style haircut that you associate with poorer people, because somehow they're such inherently awful people (?!) that you don't want to look like "them", is an attitude that is way way uglier than any haircut could ever be. Hair grows, attitudes like that hang around and poison everyone.

CallMeDean · 01/03/2022 09:50

Hair too short seemingly chavvy. Hair too long.. too feminine (because seemingly that’s a bad thing 🙄).

Feminine isn't a bad thing, but neither is being working class and/or "chavvy". It's like people who look down on the trainers and tracksuit wearers (not gym wear). Why?

It just comes across as being very up-yourself and holier-than-thou and I really wouldn't want to associate with these people.

Their children could happily play with so-and-so with the buzz-cut at school, without judging, but then their parents are at the school gates looking down their noses at this kid and their parents. Really awful, snobby people.

I've just googled little boys with buzz cuts and they don't look "thuggish" to me.

It really doesn't matter whether a boy has a buzz cut or long hair down to his waist that he wears in a ponytail. Nor does it make a difference if a girl has long hair or a buzz cut or a bob.

I simply don't understand the extent of the prejudice on this thread.

I see kids at school with all types of different hair. I can't say I've ever judged them for it, why would I? Confused

I'd frankly be embarrassed with myself if I had such classist views. Yes, some people have been prejudiced against the more middle-class parents on here, but that's clearly in retaliation to being looked down upon, that's completely understandable. The middle-class are not discriminated against in the same way, - it's a privilege to be middle-class.

Looking down on people you perceive as working-class and using "looking lower class" as a pejorative is disgusting.

And yet I bet all these parents on here proudly boasting about how they judge people for these things, will still say they are raising their children to not be discriminative and to judge people once you get to know them etc. What chance have their children got if they have such bigoted parents? Hmm

Toothsil · 01/03/2022 09:50

I don't like it on anyone. Couldn't you use the clippers on a different setting and still be able to do it yourself but less short?

Fallingonice · 01/03/2022 10:17

There’s a difference between looking down on and not liking the look of something. I can’t force myself to think skinheads look attractive.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/03/2022 10:24

Well it is snobbery , but it’s also just personal taste. Some people like it, some don’t.

My ds had a lockdown buzz cut as so many others did, from his Dad. He quite liked it but I don’t think it’d go down well at school - normal state primary but they do say “no extreme haircuts” and this might be considered extreme

RufusthefIorallovingreindeer · 01/03/2022 10:24

fallingonice

Just as well I wasn't using a one off during lockdown as an argument then.

Earlier in the thread (and I quite understand that you may have missed it) I was talking about ds2 who had a buzz cut all through infants.

80sMum · 01/03/2022 10:24

@RowanAlong

Poverty, army, Far Right thugs, skinhead...headlice.. Not great associations, no. It’s not a ‘style’, it’s a brutal shorn look on a 3 year old!!
I agree with this.
Fallingonice · 01/03/2022 10:26

I did miss it Rufus - honestly not being arsey here but be fair, it must have been obvious I was replying to your most recent post in the thread!

Proudboomer · 01/03/2022 10:32

Some people really need to get out more if they think a child with a buzz cut looks thuggish. It is just a practical hair cut.
25 years ago my eldest had a buzz cut. Now as an adult he has a number 2 with a slightly longer cut on top. He is not and has never been a thug. It is just a practical hair cut for him as he works in hot kitchens all day.
My younger son had long hair until the end of primary then wanted a short back and sides cut. He has kept his hair like this ever since. He wasn’t feminine when it was long. It was just hair.

Notanotherwindow · 01/03/2022 10:33

It does look thuggish. Makes them look like little Phil Mitchells

ThanksItHasPockets · 01/03/2022 10:36

DS doesn't have a short buzz cut but we do use clippers on the longest guard to trim his hair. A friend commented that it looked 'a bit Boy in the Striped Pyjamas'. I don't even know where to begin with the layers of offensiveness there.

Ponoka7 · 01/03/2022 10:37

"RowanAlong
"Poverty, army, Far Right thugs, skinhead...headlice.. Not great associations, no. It’s not a ‘style’, it’s a brutal shorn look on a 3 year old!!""

Is preventing nits a bad thing? We plait girls hair if there's an outbreak. The Army? So we should leave Ukraine to it then? We should have left Hitler to it as well? As for poverty, it's now WC and we shouldn't have to feel ashamed of that, they were the key workers we clapped for.

The peaky blinders look came back in, which I quite like, it goes back to Roman times and has been used by groups, who were fighting against the austerity and exploitation by the ruling classes, it was a movement against the powdered wigs, which were full of life and creatures.

RufusthefIorallovingreindeer · 01/03/2022 10:45

falling

Yes I realise that

And honestly I appreciate how easy it is to miss posts I do it all the time but I was just using ds1 example as a bit of a joke...he didn't look thuggish he just looked fat (his words!!!)

If I'm already on a thread commenting I don't expect to have to refer back to my earlier posts

I always think my children look gorgeous no matter what their hair looks like Grin

CallMeDean · 01/03/2022 10:45

There’s a difference between looking down on and not liking the look of something. I can’t force myself to think skinheads look attractive.

That's fine, the looking-down-on is apparent when people say they assume the parents are uneducated, chavvy, racist, thugs.

navigatingcrumbs · 01/03/2022 10:49

I did the number 8 buzz on DS in lockdown when his fringe was in his eyes , so it was the longest buzz length you can get. It suited my DS but he looked a bit unwell Shock I personally hate the very short buzz cuts it looks cheap.

HouseofHolbein · 01/03/2022 10:50

[quote DoorWasAJar]**@Hellocatshome* I’m a grown woman but have autism and sensory processing disorder which makes me freak out about shedding hair and hair touching my face or neck, I really* want a buzzcut but I know people will think I’m a nazi or skinhead or just a thug or something awful. When I was younger I had buzzcuts but I’ve become a coward for some reason. I just don’t want more reasons to get bullied. I have dermatillomania and it sucks, I hope your son grows out of his and that he will have nice friends who won’t bully him x[/quote]
I’m 52 and embraced the buzz cut in first lockdown. Never going back to hair 😊

Not been accused of anything tbh any comments I’ve had have been complimentary. Husband does it for me as required 👍

To not understand why people dislike buzz cuts on little boys?
Steelesauce · 01/03/2022 10:52

@VenusClapTrap

It screams toxic masculinity to me. The boys at my school with shaved heads were the ones with Dads who believed ‘boys don’t cry’ and any perceived feminine traits in their sons must be stamped out at all costs.
Thats hilarious. No toxic masculinity in my house, in fact, I'm a single Mum and my house is very feminine and me and their sister spend a lot of time trying to make them let us paint their nails Grin they have chavvy haircuts according to this thread haha
Marmelace · 01/03/2022 10:53

Actually quite upset that my sons would have been judged as thuggish and chavvy growing up. It was the most practical and easy haircut, as I could do it myself. My boys are well mannered and smart. I'd rather be lower class than be like some of the judgemental nasty cuts on here.

Caspianberg · 01/03/2022 10:55

It definitely has bad associations.

I worked for several years in Eastern European ‘orphanages’ back when they were common. They used to just shave all childrens hair for ease regardless of age or gender. Used to just make the children look ‘haunted’ until it grew out a bit, and definitely associated with institutionalised.

Since then, the same places exist, but run different, times have changed, and all the children get an actual hair cut. They just appear much more loved and respected. They go to various local therapies, the swimming pool, parks, zoos, trips and aren’t just looked at as ‘ orphans’ as they are so identifiable.

Ds is almost 2. His hair is pretty long. I’m just worried how to get it cut

CallMeDean · 01/03/2022 10:55

@houseofholbein

And you look fabulous! It really does suit you. Smile