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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children told about war in Russia in school

278 replies

ShepherdMoons · 28/02/2022 17:49

Dd is a sensitive soul in year 3 and today their class was told that people in Ukraine are having to leave their country with their pets for fear of being shot by Russians (this is the gist of what dd says). We haven't spoken about this at home.

AIBU to think the school shouldn't be talking to such young children about this?

OP posts:
ddl1 · 28/02/2022 20:28

Anyone with access to TV/ radio/Internet will hear something about this-best that they hear about it in an accurate, non-garbled way from teachers.

Mydogmylife · 28/02/2022 20:29

@ShepherdMoons

actually I do remember newsround and I thought it was very boring as a child. nothing went in!
Do you actually think this is something to be proud of ?
Woollystockings · 28/02/2022 20:32

I also just don't feel she has the maturity to understand,

But you’re not giving her a chance to understand. You are holding her back. When 9/11 happened, my child was only three. We talked about it.

Newuser82 · 28/02/2022 20:36

We used to turn the news off on the radio every time it came on as it would upset our very sensitive son. We have since gone through cbt for him and they said that this was actually making him more worried about what could have been happening instead of actually protecting him like we thought. He listens to it now and at the moment is quite interested in the Ukraine situation so every day we sit down with him, watch news round and talk about any concerns he has. He is dealing with it brilliantly. He is 8.

CarlCarlson · 28/02/2022 20:39

YABVU

It’s very important kids know and to some extent appreciate the horror. Education and appreciation of the consequences is all that will stop this kind of thing (and the other political and societal unpleasantness) repeating again and again

It is not the objective of school or childhood years to just have kids believe the world is sunshine and rainbows

MrsPuddle · 28/02/2022 20:42

aren't we just ripping away the innocence from our children

What a dramatic statement. Your child is 8years old. What is innocence in this context anyway?

Swap innocence for ignorance, that makes more sense I think.

killerofhouseplants · 28/02/2022 20:42

There might be children in the school who are affected - family in Ukraine or who are seeing refugees in Poland, Romania, Hungary, the Baltic states. There may also be refugee children at the school eg from Afghanistan, Iraq or Syria. This might be far closer to their reality than to yours and should be discussed appropriately so children learn to make sense of the world around them.

AlexaShutUp · 28/02/2022 20:44

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

I'm the opposite to the OP - I'm considering emailing the school and praising them for making space in the day to discuss this. It's so important.

Our school coveted what is happening and why, lots of focus on fake news and where to yet genuine info from, and they had a free for all Q&A and have been told they can ask questions about it whenever they need.

Please do. I'm sure that schools get complaints from the irate parents like the OP who want to wrap their kids in cotton wool, but the silent majority are probably grateful that the school is helping the kids to understand this. It's important that those voices are heard.
ddl1 · 28/02/2022 20:45

When I was that sort of age, I wanted to grow up to be very rich, not for the usual reasons, though I am sure they played a part, but so that I could bribe 'all the soldiers' not to drop the atom bomb. I also wondered why bomb disposal people couldn't dismantle every atom bomb that ever was. And no, the adults around me weren't obsessed with the atom bomb, but one couldn't avoid the topic, growing up during the Cold War.

AlexaShutUp · 28/02/2022 20:45

@Woollystockings

I also just don't feel she has the maturity to understand,

But you’re not giving her a chance to understand. You are holding her back. When 9/11 happened, my child was only three. We talked about it.

The child probably isn't mature enough if her mum constantly treats her like a baby who won't understand anything. The kid doesn't really stand a chance of developing that maturity.
LouisRenault · 28/02/2022 20:45

I have five primary ages dc ages 6-10 not one of them knows about the situation in Ukraine.

How do you know they don't?

How do they not hear other children talking about it in the playground?

Parker231 · 28/02/2022 20:47

live.firstnews.co.uk/fyi/sky-kids-fyi/

Worth children watching the sky news for kids and presented by kids

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/02/2022 20:47

@LouisRenault How do they not hear other children talking about it in the playground? they are home educated.

Woollystockings · 28/02/2022 20:50

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]**@LouisRenault* How do they not hear other children talking about it in the playground?* they are home educated.[/quote]
Then you have an even greater responsibility to educate your children about the world.

Original poster
ShepherdMoons · 28/02/2022 20:50

Did someone actually say that they discussed 9/11 with their three year old????!!!!

OP posts:
LouisRenault · 28/02/2022 20:51

they are home educated.

And they never mix with other children, or have any conversations that you don't hear?

HELLITHURT · 28/02/2022 20:52

As a parent your job is to explain the world!

The school will not accommodate your child's potential SEN, they're assuming that the children don't have SEN.

You remind me about a situation where a pigeon was dead just outside the school gates, so many mums saying it's not dead, it's asleep. I told my children the truth, it's dead, it was probably sick and then attacked by foxes etc.

queue, oh you shouldn't say that Billy and anne are upset, I told them it was asleep!

No, life is what it is, wars, dead animals etc!

Thecommentsmakemechuckle · 28/02/2022 20:52

My daughter is p3 which I think is the same age group as y3 in England, came home today and told me they’d been talking about it at school with their teacher as she had overheard pupils discussing it. From what I can gather it was fairly well put and age appropriate. I hadn’t spoken to her about it as I don’t watch the news as such (tend to read it) but am not unhappy it’s been spoken about at school with a teacher. She seems to have a better gist of the situation than I did at first. We also spoke about it not being the Russian citizens at fault but the big boss man so we must remain kind to anyone at school who is from there, I only made this point after reading in a local group about older children thinking they could be vicious to their peers if they were from russia.

Woollystockings · 28/02/2022 20:53

@ShepherdMoons

Did someone actually say that they discussed 9/11 with their three year old????!!!!
Yes, that was me. Of course I did. Her father was in America at the time and couldn’t come home. Everyone was talking about 9/11. She had older siblings who talked about it at school.
Creameggs223 · 28/02/2022 20:53

My dd6 knows about it because I told her about it children need to know, I told my dd in a child friendly way as she is going to hear about it from someone so best from me first.

Original poster
ShepherdMoons · 28/02/2022 20:54

Wow.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 28/02/2022 20:54

@ShepherdMoons

Did someone actually say that they discussed 9/11 with their three year old????!!!!
I think it's sensible. If done in an age appropriate way.
Libraryghost · 28/02/2022 20:54

Surely it's not healthy to brings kids up in a bubble. Wouldn't they be traumatised when they got older and inevitably find out that life isn't all unicorns and rainbows? Obviously you don't need to scare the shit out of them but there must be a happy medium. Kids should be innocent but not ignorant. Unfortunately the world is a bit scary at times, there is no protecting kids completely, they will find out sooner rather than later.

Original poster
ShepherdMoons · 28/02/2022 20:55

How? With puppets?

OP posts:
Creameggs223 · 28/02/2022 20:56

@ShepherdMoons

Did someone actually say that they discussed 9/11 with their three year old????!!!!
Do you plan on shielding your dc forever, any bad situation is best coming from a trusted adult who will explain in the best way possible rather than older siblings or kids in the playground.