To be totally terrified ***edited by MNHQ to make clear this relates to the invasion of Ukraine***

[Petrolblues]

I can’t sleep, I can’t eat.
I keep looking at my 3 year old and crying.

I’m terrified of a nuclear attack.

It’s always been a fear of mine, even more so now that I have a child.
I feel sick. I just read an article which basically says Putin may well press the button as he’s never backed down on threats before and now I’m shaking.

Please help calm me down. I have ASD and ADHD. I had a full scale panic attack yesterday. I hate the not knowing and I feel like I can’t protect my son
I can’t quite believe we’ve had a global pandemic and now this.
I feel like I may be locked up soon, I’m losing it.

Putin may be a lunatic, but he is also far too clever to start a nuclear war.

@freckles999
@Roussette
@Twentypast
Maybe if you suffered from anxiety, you’d realise that things like this make you irrationally anxious. Maybe have a bit more compassion for people rather than trying to make them feel and look stupid.

On a practical level OP, I think you need to 'normal out' by doing your routine and watching other people do the same. We're heavily inclined to take our emotional cues from each other, so get out there amongst people who are living their lives without fear, and let some of that rub off on you, or at least distract you. I hope the thread has helped, but on the other hand it's going to attract people who are also frightened, and people end up affirming each others fears. You have your child to care for and the important thing is to do whatever you can to try and overcome your fear paralysis and get on with your lives.

@MagicFox

Thank you for the reassuring posts and I just wanted to offer solidarity to those struggling. I am finding it very difficult regarding my children, just like a pp. I too am not able to really function at the moment, to eat or sleep. Goodness knows how I'll go to work today!

Going to work is the very best thing you can do. You will plunge into the usual stuff of whatever job you do and it will stop you thinking about anything other than whatever you are supposed to be doing. Don't disappear inside your head. Get out, get on . It will all pass.

@LadyPenelope68

Funny you should say that, I DO suffer with panic disorder/GAD and a whole host of other mental issues ..... plus I have Aspergers! :-)

@AngelinaFibres yes you’re totally right !! I am the same when flying to be honest !! Think the stress was passed down by my mum as she was a real worrier !! I am trying my best to act normal in front of my teenage kids and not pass on the worry !!

It's worrying but try to remember that the US intelligence knew he was planning to invade Ukraine and they warned the world, so when he did it he couldn't try and lie about why he was doing it. They clearly have ways of getting intelligence, they would know what he's planning and hopefully how to stop that from happening too.

I am too worried.

I dont find any comfort in the "it's all just big talk nothings going to happen" and "Putin will know its the end of Russia", as no one knows what Putin is capable of and what hes thinking, it's all just speculation and hes already followed through on some of what we perceived as 'big talk' threats.

What I do find comforting however is learning about the logistics.

As people have said, it's not just one man with a button, it's a joint effort that some would resist.

Many countries have defensive measures in place.

Theres insider intelligence who may be one step ahead.

I'm sorry if this doesn't help, I don't genuinely believe we are going to get nuked, but people downplaying the risk by just calling it willy waving actually make me worry more. I personally find it helpful to learn about what steps are involved in these decisions and the repercussions, as that makes me realise its something much more complex process than one man pressing a button.

Oh ffs get a grip. Your daily life is unaffected at the moment and highly highly unlikely to be. Why on earth would we be nuked we've not even gone to fight in Ukraine. Honestly everyone loves something to be "anxious" over these days. The people in Ukraine are scared they've had to leave their homes and husbands, fathers behind. You probably woke up in your cosy 3 bed semi and are sitting with a coffee. Perspective.

The term Willy waving really annoys me. Makes me envision Putins Micro penis 🤮

Ben Wallace, the defence chap, has just spoken about his 12 year old son phoning him, worried about the situation. He has said:

“I would say to parents up and down this country we will not do anything to escalate in that area.
"We will not do anything to feed any miscalculation. We take it very, very seriously."

I take comfort from that.

I read a lovely phrase on here which really helped me over the weekend:

Fetch the wood, carry the water.

When it all gets too much, just focus on the everyday immediate problems. Today I am fetching wood and carrying water (and staying away from the news!)

OP, look to the “cabin crew” in this situation. Imagine you’re on a plane going through some bumpy turbulence. What are the crew doing? Carrying on with their duties, albeit maybe not serving hot teas & coffees. Calmly fastened into their seatbelts. They won’t be freaking out, screaming and praying as they’ve experienced far worse over their careers. Look to those who are being calm, practical and pragmatic about things and do likewise.

I felt exactly the same as you in Feb 2020 with covid, to the extent that I bought bushcraft knives as I thought civilisation would collapse and we’d be attempting to live off the land. Covid was shit... long covid, bereavements and financial impacts of lockdown etc but it wasn’t cataclysmic like I feared. I literally could only sleep for about an hour per night late feb/early march 2020 and completely lost my appetite.

I got practical about it... bolstered my health cutting out sugar & processed foods, took vit D, took up gardening in lockdown, adopted a positive mindset... fear is the biggest nuke you can detonate on the human body and soul. Attend anti-war protests if that’s your thing, support the Ukrainian people through eg Red Cross/MSF. Look to the courage of those defending their homeland right now, those in Kyiv just keeping on with going to work in their hospitals and factories, and the seriously brave anti-war protestors in Moscow.

@ShittyFingers I use the term "men being men". Means the same thing, but less graphic. Also brings out the NAMALT crowd.

It never ceases to amaze me how people manage to make any given situation all about them.

There are millions of people in Ukraine with a real and imminent threat of missiles/guns/tanks etc hanging over them. Families being separated, men called up to fight, babies being born in subway stations. But of course, sit in the comfort of your home thousands of miles away and worry about what it means for you.

You have a young child, and you have a responsibility to keep a lid on your emotions and anxiety for their sake.

Am also autistic with anxiety. I'm okay. This hasn't fazed me. We're not under attack, nor are we going to be.

I credit this to being partly on mirtazapine; doing regular exercise and eating healthily. I really recommend this.

I'm hugely, desperately sorry for everyone who is though, and trying to work out how I can help.

OP, please try not to worry.

Back in the 80s the threat was just as real as it is now. The only difference is we didn’t have social media! This is psychological warfare as well as all the usual horrible stuff.

It’s hard to avoid panic and propaganda in this day snd she because it’s shoved in our faces.

Putin would need a lot of people as mentally unstable as he is to get through the chain town to the last person who would press the switch on an atomic bomb.

Obviously I know fuck all, but I do hope that there are not as many unhinged megalomaniacs involved in this as Putin. I think we have to use Hope as our defences and try to go about our daily business. Try to live in the now and just separate yourself from getting too involved. We are coming out of a pandemic and it’s been tough on us all. Our brains are all a bit fried.

@IfIHadAHeart

It never ceases to amaze me how people manage to make any given situation all about them.

There are millions of people in Ukraine with a real and imminent threat of missiles/guns/tanks etc hanging over them. Families being separated, men called up to fight, babies being born in subway stations. But of course, sit in the comfort of your home thousands of miles away and worry about what it means for you.

You have a young child, and you have a responsibility to keep a lid on your emotions and anxiety for their sake.

Yes, anxious people should just stop being anxious. Same with the depressed folk, if they just stopped being depressed they would feel much better about life!

Oh fuck off typos.

YABU

Honestly I'm usually very anxious about death etc. but surprisingly, I'm very calm when reading the news, it's absolutely awful what is happening in Ukraine. But I know in my heart of hearts, I feel it in my gut that it's not physically going to effect the UK. I know it so I'm calm.

@IfIHadAHeart

It never ceases to amaze me how people manage to make any given situation all about them.

There are millions of people in Ukraine with a real and imminent threat of missiles/guns/tanks etc hanging over them. Families being separated, men called up to fight, babies being born in subway stations. But of course, sit in the comfort of your home thousands of miles away and worry about what it means for you.

You have a young child, and you have a responsibility to keep a lid on your emotions and anxiety for their sake.

She isn't doing it on purpose. Leave her alone.
She has anxiety and if it was as easy as just "keeping a lid on your emotions" then surely she would have tried that.

@BahHumbygge

OP, look to the “cabin crew” in this situation. Imagine you’re on a plane going through some bumpy turbulence. What are the crew doing? Carrying on with their duties, albeit maybe not serving hot teas & coffees. Calmly fastened into their seatbelts. They won’t be freaking out, screaming and praying as they’ve experienced far worse over their careers. Look to those who are being calm, practical and pragmatic about things and do likewise.

I felt exactly the same as you in Feb 2020 with covid, to the extent that I bought bushcraft knives as I thought civilisation would collapse and we’d be attempting to live off the land. Covid was shit... long covid, bereavements and financial impacts of lockdown etc but it wasn’t cataclysmic like I feared. I literally could only sleep for about an hour per night late feb/early march 2020 and completely lost my appetite.

I got practical about it... bolstered my health cutting out sugar & processed foods, took vit D, took up gardening in lockdown, adopted a positive mindset... fear is the biggest nuke you can detonate on the human body and soul. Attend anti-war protests if that’s your thing, support the Ukrainian people through eg Red Cross/MSF. Look to the courage of those defending their homeland right now, those in Kyiv just keeping on with going to work in their hospitals and factories, and the seriously brave anti-war protestors in Moscow.

Excellent post
I love the cabin crew analogy

www.businessinsider.com/vladimir-putin-macho-stunts-that-arent-as-impressive-as-they-seem-2018-3?r=US&IR=T#riding-with-a-russian-motorcycle-club-known-as-the-night-wolves-alongside-its-leader-the-surgeon-but-doing-so-really-slowly-7

Honestly, it's straight up posturing. The above are examples of the shit that he talks. He's an incredibly insecure idiot with small man syndrome.

I also dont think its fair to say that worrying it may go further than the Ukraine is making it all about ourselves.

At the onset when there was not a concern it could affect us, I was deeply saddened and scared for the Ukraine, and I still am, I understand their situation is significantly more dire than anywhere else and its horrific. But the fact that Putin has now directly threatened the west and nuclear has been mentioned, it does bring us into the situation somewhat.

You can worry about two things at once. I both wish Ukraine wasnt in the situation it is in now, and I also wish that I wasnt worrying the situation will escalate outside of Ukraine.

Also I emphasis that I do not believe we will get nuked, but it isnt selfish or rediculous to worry and it doesnt mean that you dont understand that the situation is worse for Ukrainians.