To be totally terrified ***edited by MNHQ to make clear this relates to the invasion of Ukraine***

[Petrolblues]

I can’t sleep, I can’t eat.
I keep looking at my 3 year old and crying.

I’m terrified of a nuclear attack.

It’s always been a fear of mine, even more so now that I have a child.
I feel sick. I just read an article which basically says Putin may well press the button as he’s never backed down on threats before and now I’m shaking.

Please help calm me down. I have ASD and ADHD. I had a full scale panic attack yesterday. I hate the not knowing and I feel like I can’t protect my son
I can’t quite believe we’ve had a global pandemic and now this.
I feel like I may be locked up soon, I’m losing it.

No one is getting nuked, no matter how much of a lunatic Putin comes across as.
He is not going to press any buttons especially over Ukraine.
He's flexing his muscles that's all, causing a nuclear war would wipe out half the world, no one is going to let him do that.
We are not even at war, he has invaded a country that is quite rightly defending itself.
The international community will step in long before any buttons are pushed.
Seriously, take a breath, try not to overreact, it's not going to happen.
I know it's scary but no one is daft enough to start a nuclear war.

Also, get out and about if you can. Seeing real people acting normally and not hysterical helped me massively.

Putin can’t press the button on his own. He needs the support of his generals, it’s a process to push the button.

There’s two things you need to remember.

If the button is pushed, then Russia would be annihilated within minutes. It would be gone. The west would nuke back. Putin knows this. As do his generals. It’s hugely likely if he tried to go there one of them would put a bullet in his head.

Secondly the west will have a lot of intelligence that we don’t know, if he goes to push it, then there will be covert agents in the Ukraine and ability to bomb and take him out immediately.

Right now there is not enough reason to take him out. You can’t kill him for sly threats. If it was about to happen, I have full confidence someone close to him or the west would prevent it.

Is it a risk, sure. The wests nuclear weapons will also be on high alert and pointed at Russia. But the moment the button exists, is the moment Russia no longer exists. And they all know it.

In the nicest possible way, you need to get a grip. I'm feeling the same deep down but trying my best to say Fuck You, Putin.

I am doing this by:
-switching off my phone.
-going for a walk
-doing some exercise
-playing with my children

Putin is a bastard and knows exactly how to terrify people. Don't play into his hands and fall for it. Carry on with your life and enjoy all the freedoms you have that he wishes he could steip you off but can't, really.

It's a horrible time but, as Valenskyy has said 'the morning will come'.

Ban yourself from reading/watching the news and social media. This is doing you no good. Please seek help for your anxiety. It can’t be good for your 3yo to see their mum obsess over the news/social media and avoid sleep and food.

Sending you a massive hug. Im a world class worrier, but strangely not worrying too much at this moment about us being attacked. I'm not foolish to think this is Putin posturing but he also knows the consequences.

If you can, step back from news and SM. Try and avoid personal conversations about it, because lets face it we're all clueless. x

I’ve felt really fearful and upset about what’s happening in Ukraine but I’m genuinely not at all bothered about nuclear stuff. We literally won’t know if it happens. I find that means I just don’t care. The scenes of people fleeing war have been devastating so I give my daughter extra cuddles and make more of an effort to count my blessings. I try to stay informed but also get off my phone, turn off the radio, go for a walk, chat to people about other stuff, do something rewarding like bake bread.

This isn’t going away overnight so try and get some balance back. For your son at least. He’s looking to you for safety and normality and comfort. It’s fine to show emotions but you can’t fall apart, you can’t, because he needs you.

Start now and small. Get dressed, decide on two things you’ll do today, tell him, do them.

I’ve just seen your post on Facebook. I’m the same as you, I keep telling myself that although he’s clearly a nutcase and doesn’t care about dying I’m sure the rest of his military command don’t want to see a nuclear war which would involve their families being fried. And he can’t push the button on his own. Let’s just hope he receives a bullet to the head soon. He’s currently the worlds most hated man, people have been taken out for much less.

I’m an absolute nervous wreck at the minute, just can’t stop crying with worry. My eldest son (21) is in Gran Canaria on holiday and I’ve spent the last couple of days not eating, sleeping or anything due to the worry about him not being able to get home if anything kicks off further with Russia. He’s due home tonight and I’m just a nervous wreck about him getting back safely.

OP are you referring to the BBC article which reads as though written by a 13 year old?

my dd is abroad, living
i keep looking at the country she is on on gov.uk
i have sent her the link to what to do in a crisis.

good advice to stay away from the news. we really are powerless. enjoy your week as best you can, make time

@LadyPenelope68

Why won't your son get home safe?

Goodness me. Flights from the Canaries aren't stopping, nor are flights anywhere except over the Ukraine which is nearly 4,000 miles away.

@TerraNovaTwo

I'm not sure why ASD and ADHD should be mentioned as some sort of justification for your reaction? Plenty of neurological people are feeling just as distraught.

Because people with ASD / ADHD have a tendency to hyper focus on stuff?

I was reading about Russias nuclear weapons yesterday. It's not the 'big red button end of the world' thing we all believe it is. Their nuclear weapons could destroy Ukraine but they're not going to wipe out the planet.

If they destroy Ukraine, we have nuclear weapons and so do America.
It'd be pretty easy to wipe out Russia too.

If there was a nuclear weapon that could wipe out the planet, we'd be dead before we knew what was happening.

My DH is feeling very worried too. I avoid reading newspapers, but he read it all. On the weekend he wanted to go out and do lots of things with the DC because he said he was worried we would be all dead in a month and wanted to make the most of now.
You should really go about your life and make good memories. Shutting yourself away and not taking your son to nursery won’t change anything. If we were nuked you would still be effected inside. Make memories that you can look back on (because as others say I think it’s unlikely). Otherwise you are just giving yourself your own lockdown to look back on with regret. We are generally living through scary times for lots of reasons at the moment. All we can do is live our lives and hope for the best. I know that’s much easier said than done though. Perhaps you could do with some medication to help you through it all. A trip to the GP before your anxiety gets out of control is perhaps a good idea.

The media seems to thrive on scaring the bejesus out of everyone these days.

@LadyPenelope68

I’m an absolute nervous wreck at the minute, just can’t stop crying with worry. My eldest son (21) is in Gran Canaria on holiday and I’ve spent the last couple of days not eating, sleeping or anything due to the worry about him not being able to get home if anything kicks off further with Russia. He’s due home tonight and I’m just a nervous wreck about him getting back safely.

What on earth could stop your son getting back from the Canary Islands?

The biggest problem would be a delay if he's on British Airways as they are having knock on problems from cancelling all their short haul flights on Saturday. The Ukraine situation couldn't possibly affect flights in that region.

@girlmom21

I was reading about Russias nuclear weapons yesterday. It's not the 'big red button end of the world' thing we all believe it is. Their nuclear weapons could destroy Ukraine but they're not going to wipe out the planet.

If they destroy Ukraine, we have nuclear weapons and so do America.
It'd be pretty easy to wipe out Russia too.

If there was a nuclear weapon that could wipe out the planet, we'd be dead before we knew what was happening.

They have nuclear weapons that can reach far further than Ukraine.

[quote Petrolblues]@TerraNovaTwo that’s a good point. I guess I mentioned it as I struggle to think logically at times and I also get hyper-fixated on topics due to my ADHD.[/quote]
I have adhd too and I get fixated on these sorts of things too so can totally relate. My husband calmed me down last night. We have to think about what we can control. Which is very little in this situation. I'm sorry I don't have more advice but ur definitely not alone. I have tried to limit reading about it online but with hyper fixation it's incredibly difficult. 💗

@Petrolblues

I just keep thinking what’s the point in doing the day to days things? My DP has gone to work, I tried to stop him going but of course he didn’t. I want us to all be together if something happens. I’m considering keeping my 3 year old from nursery this week in case. My parents live the other side of the country so I can’t be with them either

It isn't going to happen. You need to do some exercise. Go out for a walk with your child in the pushchair. Find a park and set yourself a target to walk as fast as you can until your heartbeat is really thumping. Repeat several times. It will get rid of all that adrenaline. Then breathe. Enjoy the spring beginning to come. Talk to your little boy about what signs of spring you can see. Take some grapes and feed the ducks. It will be okay. Stay off social media. Watch the BBC news once a day for facts. Read proper papers not the dross. Get yourself out of your house and out of your head. We are very ,very lucky. You are not standing in a queue with your child trying to get into Poland. You will be fine.

OP, there is no big red button that a maniac can go and press. Launching nuclear weapons takes a team effort. However insane Putin may be, the people around him know that an attack by Russia will be met with a counter attack that will destroy the country. This is not a cause that Russian people will consider worth the destruction of the world. In the 80s we grew up against a constant backdrop of this and still, here we all are. Please try not to dwell. Distract yourself, go about your business. If you cant step away then Google some of the articles on why they're won't be a nuclear war.

I live in London so if they bomb anywhere it will be us and we will be immediately evaporated

I find that comforting because there is NOTHING you can do about it

NOTHING at all - so live your life, all control is gone - there's no need for anxiety if you can't do anything

I think like I said when hyper focused having adhd. it's very difficult being told to just not look. I did follow a lot of reporters in unkrain then deleted them so a step. It just wasn't helpful for me. And also the could be so much misinformation anyways. Going for walk is good idea. I'm going when my food delivery has come 💗

If there was a nuclear war there is nothing you can do about it anyway, we had al the same shite when the gulf war kicked off, it will get sorted eventually might take a few years, it is in nobody's interest to use nuclear weapons someone in his own government will turn on him before it gets to that point.