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Original poster

How do you accept that you aren't beautiful?

204 replies

000oooh · 26/02/2022 22:36

I know it really isn't the most important thing in life. But still, it would be great to look in the mirror and not scrutinise myself.
Today my partner and I talked to one of his friend's new girlfriends, she was exceptionally beautiful, far more attractive than me and I'm sure 99% of people would say so. I know my partner loves the way I look and is with me, but I'd be a fool if I said he wouldn't have also found her very beautiful.

Sometimes I'm just tempted to get cosmetic enhancements. I've already had nose filler, but only surgery would truly solve it.

I don't think I am unattractive, but I'm just not beautiful. I get told I look 'cute' a lot, and I saw my partner's male friend smiling sweetly at me as if I were a puppy.

I make the best of myself and try to focus on other achievements/things I like about myself.

I sometimes just wish I could be beautiful.

OP posts:
DG123 · 27/02/2022 19:17

What would change if you were more beautiful?

RobertaFirmino · 01/03/2022 00:00

Rebecca Adlington. She's got a big nose. Doesn't stop her from being beautiful. Lovely smile, amazing hair, seems like a nice person, strong and healthy and an absolute fucking champion.

StrawberrySquash · 01/03/2022 00:12

Think about the people you love and care about. Are they objectively beautiful? Or do their faces bring you joy because they belong to them. Beauty is nice and all, but it's one factor of many. And soon runs out.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/03/2022 00:24

@Lyonic

All men who pathetically insist on spouting misogynist shit on a predominantly female forum are revolting to women.

So rest assured, even those of us over thirty aren't interested in settling for little incels like you Smile

AnotherSillawithanS · 01/03/2022 00:31

Op, if you're not happy with your nose, you know what to do.

Life is too short to constantly feel shit about yourself.

DoorWasAJar · 01/03/2022 03:07

@youkiddingme

Stop trying to live up to standards set by cosmetics industries that have a vested interest in making money from your insecurities. Look at some art throughout the ages and recognise that beauty is both subjective and seen through an ever-changing societal lens. Define beauty in your own terms and know that you are beautiful. It really all is in the eye of the beholder.
This is so true, proper good art makes me feel less ugly 😃
Strawberry33 · 01/03/2022 04:20

Think of your body/face as a tool to live your life and do all the things you love. It’s the paintbrush not the painting. As long as it can do what you want it to then it really doesn’t matter what it looks like.

autienotnaughty · 01/03/2022 04:26

Beauty is a concept and it's only one part of what makes up a person. And in my opinion not that important a part.

It seems like you suffer from low self esteem I'd definitely consider therapy.

gunnersgold · 01/03/2022 08:38

@RobertaFirmino she had her nose fixed 🤣.. conforming to society's idea of beauty right there !

SartresSoul · 01/03/2022 09:30

It’s all incredibly subjective. People find various different things beautiful or attractive. Example being some may find women who have had various cosmetic procedures and who wear lots of fake tan and make up attractive but I just don’t. Nobody loves the way they look anyway, even if they’re conventionally beautiful. Most people want to change something about themselves, it’s just the human design.

CounsellorTroi · 01/03/2022 09:50

Example being some may find women who have had various cosmetic procedures and who wear lots of fake tan and make up attractive but I just don’t.

I agree with you. The kind of woman I find attractive is the Bargain Hunt presenter Natasha Raskin Sharp.

Onlyrainbows · 01/03/2022 09:54

I don't think I'm pretty, I'm an exotic beauty at best... But I think some men would find me attractive given my mix of "exoticness and slim but hourglass body". I still don't love photographs of myself most of the times.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 01/03/2022 12:46

I'd rather be interesting tbh. Smile

How do you accept that you aren't beautiful?
MistyGreenAndBlue · 01/03/2022 12:47

According to my mother I've nailed it Grin

Lurking9to5 · 01/03/2022 15:11

@MistyGreenAndBlue

According to my mother I've nailed it Grin
Ha ha sounds like my own mother
KatyRebecca84 · 01/03/2022 15:26

Without sounding big headed, I am quite attractive and get told a lot.. by my partners and others. However I was still very insecure and jealous of others. My mother is very jealous and brought us up thinking any other women are a threat.
I’ve dealt with my insecurities by observing other woman are attractive and accepting that but also accepting parts of myself that I love too.

Your partner will find you much more attractive if you’re confident about your looks and appreciative of others!

Sunpotter · 01/03/2022 15:35

I'm ugly and out of proportion and I would love to be average let alone pretty so you've got one up there!

I'd like to be able to look in mirrors, I've made a real effort to let people take photos of me as I now regret there's none of me from age 15-27 but I won't look at the photos myself.

Nobody likes how they look entirely so that's an impossible aim, but I also think being beautiful would be lovely!

As everyone has said though, it's not everything and your bf loves you, nobody else, you wouldn't pick beautiful if you had to give up a good personality trait for it would you?

Cheesechips · 01/03/2022 15:36

I've been called beautiful but I don't think it makes much of a difference better or worse to my life. I work hard and have achievements not based on appearance. People still like me/dislike me and I definitely don't have a privileged life. Cent rely on looks forever anyway.

doadeer · 01/03/2022 15:41

I'm beautiful to the people who matter to me. I honestly don't care about other people.

Cameleongirl · 01/03/2022 16:58

@doadeer

I'm beautiful to the people who matter to me. I honestly don't care about other people.
Exactly, that’s what it boils down to @doadeer. Tbh, when you love someone, you don’t really see them as they are, you see the person inside. My DH knows I’m nearly 50 with a saggy middle and greying temples, but he still looks soppy and calls me beautiful. I see his kind eyes, not his belly…although I know it’s there when I hug him. 🤣
Lurking9to5 · 01/03/2022 17:11

Yeh, im not above average attractive, only qverage, but i realised a while ago that unless you have a secure sense of yourself, then all you get for your good looks is a better looking arsehole boyfriend than the ordinary looking girl with similarly fragile sense of her real self.

Girlmumdogmumboymum · 01/03/2022 18:08

I find comfort in skills that I offer. I'm a wealth of knowledge, highly practical, supportive, a good mum, funny, and an excellent cook.
I'm good to have in an emergency.

I will not approach 40/50/60 and have people see my worth as diminishing because my beauty has started to slip away. I used to wish that I was truly beautiful, I'm ok- and men have commented I'm their "dream woman" but more for my personality than my looks.

I'm not too worried because I have worth that isn't linked to my personal appearance and that will be longer lasting.

groovergirl · 02/03/2022 05:06

OP, your pics show have a fabulous nose -- well formed, straight and, as far as I can tell, it suits your face. Own it! Go and get a proper make-up lesson and learn how to enhance your features. I say make-up rather than fillers or surgery because a good artist will analyse your face and highlight aspects that you might not have thought beautiful.

Create your own style, wear clothes you love and enjoy your body. We're not living in these flesh-and-bone cases for very long, so let us celebrate them by stepping out in gorgeousness. (I do.)

Keely199 · 28/04/2024 19:42

Kumbaya12 · 27/02/2022 00:19

Going to get flamed for this but it's really easy to look 'beautiful' for the majority of women, who have decent skin.
Good grooming (hair, well-fitting clothes). Good foundation and lipstick. That's all.

Obviously some aren't just beautiful, but 'stunning'. For the majority however looking beautiful isn't hard.

That's not true I have my hair done nicely and put on makeup yet I'm still feel ugly as fuck.

entropynow · 30/04/2024 23:22

000oooh · 26/02/2022 22:36

I know it really isn't the most important thing in life. But still, it would be great to look in the mirror and not scrutinise myself.
Today my partner and I talked to one of his friend's new girlfriends, she was exceptionally beautiful, far more attractive than me and I'm sure 99% of people would say so. I know my partner loves the way I look and is with me, but I'd be a fool if I said he wouldn't have also found her very beautiful.

Sometimes I'm just tempted to get cosmetic enhancements. I've already had nose filler, but only surgery would truly solve it.

I don't think I am unattractive, but I'm just not beautiful. I get told I look 'cute' a lot, and I saw my partner's male friend smiling sweetly at me as if I were a puppy.

I make the best of myself and try to focus on other achievements/things I like about myself.

I sometimes just wish I could be beautiful.

Well I wish I could be 5ft 6 or so but it ain't gonna happen. Look outside yourself and enjoy living fgs. It don't half go quick!

Yrs, someone who wouldn't even make cute, and no longer gives a stuff.

And don't get surgery, you'll probably spoil the looks you do have.