AIBU to know diets don’t work but also need to lose 3-4 stone

[MoirasWigStand]

I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. 5’6” and weigh 14st 11. There is a reason, I had health issues last year which meant no exercise (even walking) for almost a year, as well as a period of time on steroids (which made me pile on weight).

I really, really, need to lose it now. I can exercise (although my efforts are pretty pathetic so far!). I started calorie counting and lost 6lbs in January, but it’s gone back on after a few stress do l weeks.

And I found it so hard. 1500 calories is so little food 😂. I clearly have issues with stress eating and bingeing. Also when ‘bored’ at home when wfh.

I need a massive kick up the arse. I know diets don’t work, I’ve read those books. But I really need to lose some weight, I’m disgusted in myself.

Me too.

The 'trick' is to not lower your calories to an amount that is unstainable. That way you are less likely to binge or eat when bored.

5:2 works for me as I have the weekend to look forward to. I couldn't be 100% strict all the time,I don't know how people do that. I love a Chinese and a prosecco on a saturday night for example.

Of course diets work. You just need to fine one that works for you. But it requires lifelong management as it’s a chronic relapsing condition, so you must make permanent lifestyle changes.

Easier said than done I know, but they do work.

Are you able to exercise? You'll struggle to make the changes you want by diet alone. Plus you'll get the endorphin buzz that will help you to be more in control of your food. Can you focus on healthy unprocessed foods rather than strict calorie control?

Hey! Please don't be disgusted :) your body and your mind has gone through some tough times, really, really tough times. Yes you know the weight needs to come off BUT it will take time, so this is pragmatic long term change contemplation, not diet time.

It's takes effort to implement a lifestyle which supports a healthy weight, and you can start those changes a bit at a time and you'll get there.

I'm overweight too, but one thing that's really helping me is aiming for 10 fruit and veg a day
I don't always hit it but you can have a massive amount of spinach, cucumber, salad, mushrooms etc etc for low calories and it helps bulk everything out
Like say a bacon barm would be high calorie, but if you have some bacon medallions, an egg, loads of mushrooms, a full tin of tomatoes if you want it's a decent amount of food

Yabu. 1500 calories is fine - it just depends on what makes up those 1500 calories.

I would read up on restrict/ binge cycle, restricting causes binges and I'd look up intuitive eating I'm learning about it now, wish I'd found out about it 20 years ago!

Well diets don’t generally work because I’ve 95% do relapse and don’t keep weight off long term. And they change your metabolism and hormones so that you usually end up actually heavier afterwards.

I’ve done 5:2 before, I was considering that.

diets do work, so do start with a positive attitude.
it's a long hard road and yes as your body ages it's something you will need to work at long term.

You don't need to go as low as 1500. Try 1800 calories to start with and 10,000 steps per day, you should still lose and it will be easier to stick to.

@Shmithecat2

Yabu. 1500 calories is fine - it just depends on what makes up those 1500 calories.

Ok, we’ll I was having porridge, then tuna wrap/eggs and smoked salmon on toast type thing for lunch and then chicken breast and veggies or tofu stir fry type thing for tea. And I was hungry. All the time.

I have recently started eating only between 10am and 6pm and it's great. I don't count calories so I don't feel I'm depriving myself and it took away the feeling of wanting to snack in front of the telly in the evening. I eat normally during the day but much smaller portions as I'm having three small meals. 10am, 1.30 and 5pm, finish eating by 6pm.

and by diet i mean healthy foods and reasonable portion sizes.
all foods have some nutrition some are more dense in calories than others.
metabolism changes with age diet or not.

Self hatred is not a good starting point I think. Sounds like you have had a tough couple of years. Start by walking every day - it won’t make you lose weight but could help manage your mood.

Oh yes , I’m 41 which seems to have made it all harder than in the past. I can exercise but my efforts are pretty pathetic at the moment. I can run about 2 miles or do some barbell weights, but not well (I can’t do lunges, I just fall over)

Eating less does work, and don't kid yourself that exercise is the problem, it isn't. I successfully lost 4 stone with no exercise at all, I couldn't even walk at the time, it's all what you eat. Exercise will make you feel better though and is good for muscle building, and heart and lung health, so it is important, but for different reasons.
1500 calories isn't a tiny amount of food, I don't eat much more than that every day. Telling yourself it is a tiny amount of food isn't helping your mindset. You just need to adjust.
Meal and snack plan in advance every day and don't deviate. Use your calories wisely, not in processed foods or white carbs, neither of which are nutritional. Make sure you get plenty of decent protein to keep you feeling full. Limit your sugar to stop energy dips. If you tend to reach for unhealthy foods at the same time or with the same triggers, you need to be aware of that and combat it before it happens. For example, I often get a blood sugar dip around 4:30pm. I make sure I have on hand a snack cheese like Babybel. I have that and it keeps me sustained until my next meal without reaching for chocolate or biscuits.

Eat 3 meals a day and plan/prep them in advance. Focus on nutritious foods that fill you up but are not high calorie.

Don't buy foods that you know you will binge on, or which aren't part of your planned meals.

Eat mindfully, e.g. always sit down at a laid table, with a glass of water, cutlery, cruet, etc., and focus on eating rather than munching while working, reading, scrolling on your phone.

Go and focus on something else after eating. When WFH you could try to schedule calls or meetings or other time specific tasks for immediately after breakfast and lunch. At the weekends or in the evenings, making a personal call is a good distraction as you can't eat when talking. Wash up the plates and tidy away after each meal so it's not easy to have another helping. In the evening, clean your teeth after dinner (and don't go back into the kitchen, if possible.)

Reduce alcohol and soft drinks as most of them are calorific, or at least not nutritionally helpful (and don't fill you up).

1500 calories is fine. The average woman has expenditure of about 1800 so cutting 300 cals is a sensible deficit.

For 1500 calories I could have…

A boiled egg and a piece of seedy toast and butter
A babybel and some fruit as a mid morning snack
A lovely salad with protein, dressing and nuts
A sensible portion of a ‘normal’ meal (pasta, fajitas, curry, roast)
A low cal treat like a Kit Kat, or a chocolatey protein yogurt, or a couple of biscuits

Anyone who thinks that is not enough food has food issues.

‘Diets don’t work’ is just semantics. If you don’t stick at something, no it doesn’t work. If you go back to your WOE which got you 2 stone overweight, no it doesn’t work.

You will be a hungry at first. It’s fine to be hungry and wait for your next meal. Hanger is just sugar and snacking addiction.

@DoubleChinWoes2

I have recently started eating only between 10am and 6pm and it's great. I don't count calories so I don't feel I'm depriving myself and it took away the feeling of wanting to snack in front of the telly in the evening. I eat normally during the day but much smaller portions as I'm having three small meals. 10am, 1.30 and 5pm, finish eating by 6pm.

A friend does this. Unfortunately it because of my DP’s work hours this wouldn’t work. I could eat later but I think you are supposed to include milk as food and not sure I could go most of the morning without tea or coffee.

Diets do work. I'm also 41. I've gone from 14.8 to 10.3 with weight watchers then calorie counting, and have maintained it for a year. At the end I was on 1345 cals and ate plenty.

The Nutracheck app really worked for me. Sticking to a daily calorie allowance didn't work for me either, as like you, I was constantly hungry, but you can set it so that you've a calorie limit, but exercise - including steps from walking - can give you more calories. This way I was able to eat more as long as I walked a lot.

Switching to a plant based diet (even for a % of the week) and cutting out alcohol are quite easy wins. Good luck. You've got this! X

Of course duets work. You just need to choose one and stick to it.