AIBU to know diets don’t work but also need to lose 3-4 stone

[MoirasWigStand]

I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. 5’6” and weigh 14st 11. There is a reason, I had health issues last year which meant no exercise (even walking) for almost a year, as well as a period of time on steroids (which made me pile on weight).

I really, really, need to lose it now. I can exercise (although my efforts are pretty pathetic so far!). I started calorie counting and lost 6lbs in January, but it’s gone back on after a few stress do l weeks.

And I found it so hard. 1500 calories is so little food 😂. I clearly have issues with stress eating and bingeing. Also when ‘bored’ at home when wfh.

I need a massive kick up the arse. I know diets don’t work, I’ve read those books. But I really need to lose some weight, I’m disgusted in myself.

@Autumndays123

So you don't want to diet as it doesn't work, don't want to give up alcohol because you enjoy it so.....you want us to suggest a way for you to lose 4 stone by continuing to do exactly what you're doing now?

I'm not the OP, but personally that sounds great! So yes please, if you would

*isn't

God now my phone is trying to make me look even more stupid that I already am 🙈

Drinking lots of water can help with hunger between meals.

So glad expert jack who knows more than these global experts is here to tell us what does and doesn’t work, based on her Google searches 😂
I’ve had more rationale debates with my 12
year old.

OP - good luck with whatever you do.

I'm late to this thread I know, but I was similar height/weight to OP. Trying to do it on my own by eating (what I thought was) sensibly, and exercising more, I lost 10lb in a year. This year, I've lost 4.5 stone with WW. And to be honest, I have found it straightforward. The biggest issue was realising I was emotional eating when stressed, so tried to find something to replace that. But the 'diet' itself was easy. I believe it's sustainable because WW encourages a lifesyle change - you are rewarded for eating healthy foods like vegetables, drinking water and doing activity, and discouraged from eating lots of junk, but you can absolutely still enjoy the junk - hence it being sustainable long term.

My problem foods were bread, cheese, crisps and chocolate and I still eat all of these regularly (chocolate and crisps almost daily!) but in much smaller amounts. And rather than binging them, I plan and savour them . You can fill up on 'free' foods whenever you are hungry, and I always do. It does help being at home, because for lunch I can make a quick stir fry, or omlette, or baked sweet potato, or home made soup. I batch cook so I always have soup/casseroles etc in the freezer for a quick and easy meal. And I always have 0 point snacks easily available, like yoghurt and fruit, or baked oats. I stopped using the app after New Year, and am still hovering around my target weight without really thinking about it. Because the year on the programme instilled a lifestyle change that I am happy with.

The thing WW really gave me was accountability and information. By tracking absolutely everything I ate, I didn't forget about it, and could adjust accordingly. Also, the app allows you to scan products to see their nutritional content and WW points value. The massive difference between some foods that I would have thought were identical was shocking at times. Eg passata - some has loads of added sugar, and if you don't know it's easy to miss.

I really wish you well OP. You can do it. I never thought I'd even be able to lose even 1 stone, let alone 5. But by doing it slowly, in tiny little steps, you will gradually get there.

@Quincythequince

So glad expert jack who knows more than these global experts is here to tell us what does and doesn’t work, based on her Google searches 😂 I’ve had more rationale debates with my 12 year old.

OP - good luck with whatever you do.

What's it like sitting up on a big horse all day Quincy? I had no desire to enter into any debate with you🤣. I wasn't interested in anything you had to say, and many many people on this thread have said very low calorie diets haven't worked for them long term either. You can unclench now.

When people say diets don’t work, they mean overly restrictive diets don’t work, and that the diet mentality doesn’t work.

They don’t mean you shouldn’t reduce the calories you eat to loose weight.

If that’s really hard (as it is for so many people), then I think you have to work on what’s going on inside your head. This is not easy. Shahroo Izadi’s The Last Diet is a useful starting point.

"Even if you reduce your calories your body will adapt to this and start burning at a lower rate whilst increasing your hunger hormones so that you’re pretty much destined to fail."

Or maybe you lose weight, so you weigh less, so you need less calories to maintain...and even less to lose? And you might feel hungry because you have a habit of eating a certain amount for many years?

It's shit, the older you get the lower your BMR is. To lose weight takes a sustained effort and it's boring and takes time. For some it's worth it, for some it's not, and it shouldn't be linked in any way to your self worth.

Anecdote is not evidence jack

You previous statements are factually incorrect. I am not espousing my opinion - I am telling you what the published, peer-reviewed literature overwhelmingly shows.

No more, no less to say about it.

@Quincythequince

Anecdote is not evidence jack

You previous statements are factually incorrect. I am not espousing my opinion - I am telling you what the published, peer-reviewed literature overwhelmingly shows.

No more, no less to say about it.

Anecdote and personal experience is good enough for me.

No more, no less to say about it.

Thank fuck for that.

Anecdote and personal experience is good enough for me

That's a rather stupid thing to say

@bigfatmeerkat

If that was true your body would burn less calories but you wouldn’t “feel” hungry. Except often you will feel extremely hungry after cutting calories, even after a sustained period.

I recommend the book “why we eat too much”. It explains appetite science very well. It’s not all about the calorie reduction model.

I’ve lost 4 stone and kept it off and I never count a single calorie. I eat all food groups, plenty of fat, protein and carbs etc (but not refined) I have plenty of healthy fats butter, olive oil, dark chocolate, full fat yogurt etc.

Personally I eat a lot of food and never went remotely hungry whilst losing the 4 stone.

Every time I cut calories I just felt starving. Anyway the book worked for me.

Good luck to you all.

I think there are a few things that can help with this sort of problem.

1. Don;t think in terms of a diet. You need to change something in a permanent but sustainable way.

2. Weight loss this way will be really really slow. You have to make peace with that.

3. Think in terms of health more than weight.

I personally have had really good luck with what's sometimes called the "3 S" diet. It's not really a diet as such, and it's pretty sustainable. Essentially you have no seconds, snacks, or sweets, except on days starting with S.

I found I only lost weight when I was doing 10 mins a day yoga. It was gentle and no way was it burning calories but somehow it seems to give my diet oomph. Try yogi with adriene but look for the short and gentle videos.

LOL jack

You are not unlike the pigeon in playing chess/pigeon analogy.

Keep going my stupid little feathered friend!

First, make sure you get enough sleep on a regular basis. Lack of sleep will affect your hunger hormones.

Avoid processed food, especially refined carbs

Try fasting or time-restricted eating. There must be a time window that will work for you. This can be very helpful in reducing your appetite which will help you long-term.

Avoid snacking

Create new habits (for example, gentle exercise) to replace old, unhelpful ones (like snacking in front of the telly).

Good luck

The reason diets change your metabolism is because when you lose weight some is fat and some is muscle. Muscle burns more calories at rest so when you lose muscle, you need to eat less to sustain the weight. Then when you can't stick to that, you gain fat. And then the cycle repeats. The very best way to lose weight is on a reasonably reduced sustainable calorie intake and building muscle at the same time by squats, lunges, weight lifting (even light at first) for 3 times a week. It's hard but you will get there. And remember, every body needs food for fuel!! And our self worth is not our size. Good luck.

@BIWI

Anecdote and personal experience is good enough for me

That's a rather stupid thing to say

Why? Everyone's body is different. Personal experience, self knowledge, knowing your triggers and your own idiosyncratic reactions is absolutely key to any lifestyle change.

OP, it sounds like you've had a really tough couple of years so go easy on yourself.

I lost just over 3 stone with slimming world - I know many people on Mumsnet hate it, but if you follow it properly it's really straightforward to do, fits in with family meals and no calorie counting.

It took me about 16 months to lose 48lb, but I've basically kept it off for about 4 years following the plan. But you do have to stick to the basics of the plan to maintain - it's healthy eating, not a quick fix. I eat a bit of chocolate every day, and if I go out for an evening I'll eat and drink what I fancy, but I don't binge because I don't feel deprived the rest of the time.

Good luck with whatever you try op.

Firstly you need to stop being disgusted with yourself. You've been unwell and you're trying. Start showing yourself some love and kindness.

Secondly dieting is very hard! You're depriving yourself of fuel. It's exhausting.

But, if you want to do it you can. Would you be able to access therapy to help you figure out binging triggers or how to stay consistent?

Restrictive diets don’t work you’re absolutely right.
As soon as you tell yourself you’re going on a diet your brain starts to panic and goes into survival mode and you end up overeating.
It’s like when you try and give up chocolate and all you crave is chocolate.

I personally would just concentrate on calories. Don’t cut anything out.

If your goal is 1500 then you can choose whether to have 500 per meal or have lighter meals and then snacks.
I personally like to have more kcals for my evening meal so I’ll have less for my breakfast and lunch.

The idea is to have as much food as you possibly can within your calorie limit. That way you don’t get hungry and don’t feel deprived.
I go on Pinterest and search meals under 500kcals and you’ll be surprised how much food you can eat especially if it’s bulked out with lots of veggies.

I agree with a PP about doing things like squats, lunges, lifting weights (like tins of beans) which you don’t need any special equipment for.

I would also advise going to bed as early as you can.

Find other things to do if you snack out if boredom - drink more, go for a walk etc.

I like to have a treat meal on a Friday - I spend all week getting excited about what I’ll have and I really appreciate it.
I make sure I eat very few kcals on that day and allow myself to go over but only by a certain amount.
I tend to get frozen food instead of takeaway just so it’s easier to track the calories and leave takeaways for birthdays.

Also if you don’t want to give up alcohol that’s fine but make sure you’re counting these calories too and have something like gin with coke zero so it’s lower than beers and wine.

My fitness pal is good at keeping you on track.

Good luck OP. Please keep us updated on how you’re doing.

@Quincythequince

LOL jack

You are not unlike the pigeon in playing chess/pigeon analogy.

Keep going my stupid little feathered friend!

Hmm that insult was a bit try hard.

@BIWI

Anecdote and personal experience is good enough for me

That's a rather stupid thing to say

Well apparently you're not the only one that thinks I'm stupid, but I'll stick to what works for me thanks @BIWI

This is honestly the worst place in the world sometimes.