Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would your DS join up

258 replies

mariamari2 · 25/02/2022 22:51

Hypothetical but if you have a DS aged 16-25 would they join up in the event of the government requesting volunteers to go and fight in Ukraine. If they did would you try and stop them. I have hear stories about so many young men in Ukraine volunteering and it got me wondering what would young British men do?

OP posts:
Bumpsadaisie · 26/02/2022 16:33

If the Russians were rolling up the A6 in tanks towards my little town in south Cumbria, then yes, I would hope my DH and my DS would fight and indeed I would fight too, I can learn to shoot a gun, or if I didn't fight I would help get the elderly and the young to safety.

I think it becomes simple at that point.

More complex is when your loved ones are fighting elsewhere. We have family members who were army officers in the Afghan conflict. My sister in law was a captain in Afghan who led a platoon of soldiers searching for mines and bombs in Helmand, during the fighting. We didn't sleep well until her tour of duty was over and praise God she came home safe.

If my son wanted to go into the army I would be worried but very proud and I wouldn't stop him, if having thought seriously about it, he was still committed.

Trainbear · 26/02/2022 16:39

What makes you think ylthey would be safe if they did not defend their country and were defeated? The defeated french were enslaved by the Nazis. Young men were sent to wonk in nazi factories.

5128gap · 26/02/2022 17:16

@TyrannosaurusRegina

Men are a different breed in Ukraine. I doubt many young men here would be brave enough to sign up for hand to hand combat.
And what about you? Are you going to be queuing up? Or just sitting their snug and smug, shaming young men for hypothetically not being brave enough to risk their lives? Young men here are our sons and partners. Don't talk about their lives like it's a game of chicken.
Yeahthat · 26/02/2022 17:21

@TyrannosaurusRegina

They didn't struggle to recruit young men to sign up for Iraq and Afghanistan, fighting in far-flung regions with little to do with them.

In the case of an existential threat to this country, they would easily recruit young men to fight.

worriedmum2022 · 26/02/2022 17:34

My grandpa is of the generation where all young men were called up for national service
Although the current situation is awful - the concept of national service reduces unemployment and gives people a trade/ training and reduces crime in poorer areas and gave young men from deprived areas a chance

RobotValkyrie · 26/02/2022 17:48

Nope. I'd instruct them very firmly that they have their whole life ahead of them, and I'd be extremely disappointed if they didn't live it to the fullest. And that their lovely nerdy brains are way to valuable to be spilled on a battlefield. And that if anyone had to die for this country or another, it would be me, not them.

Seriously. Given the way modern wars are fought (high tech equipment requiring more brains than brawls), it makes zero sense to send inexperienced, emotionally vulnerable youngsters to the battle front. Let them live.

Highwind · 26/02/2022 17:52

No children but I am 30(ish) and able-bodied. I wouldn’t go and fight in another country (unless conscripted) but if we were invaded I would take up arms.

SirChenjins · 26/02/2022 17:56

If you mean, would he fight for our country if we were invaded then yes - although he has a heart condition so I don’t think they’d have him fortunately. If you mean would he fight for Ukraine then no. Otoh I am beyond furious with Putin and it’s a good job I have children I don’t want to leave without a mum otherwise I’d be over there.

LondonQueen · 26/02/2022 17:57

What about our DD's? Surely in an "equal world" me and DD should be conscripted too...

Nanny0gg · 26/02/2022 17:58

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

So much for Dunkirk spirit

That was 80 years ago. Maybe we live in a world where people want peace? Wars are generally started by old men. The younger generation seem much more anti war.

What if there isn't much of a choice?

Clearly not all people want peace so sadly sometimes the only way to defend it is to fight.

Nanny0gg · 26/02/2022 17:59

@RobotValkyrie

Nope. I'd instruct them very firmly that they have their whole life ahead of them, and I'd be extremely disappointed if they didn't live it to the fullest. And that their lovely nerdy brains are way to valuable to be spilled on a battlefield. And that if anyone had to die for this country or another, it would be me, not them.

Seriously. Given the way modern wars are fought (high tech equipment requiring more brains than brawls), it makes zero sense to send inexperienced, emotionally vulnerable youngsters to the battle front. Let them live.

I think we would be very much in need of 'nerdy brains' rather than brawn

My father was in WWII but he was admin not fighting

AmosBear · 26/02/2022 18:01

lovely nerdy brains too valuable to he spilled on the battlefield

Because they are nerdy? I'm not sure you meant to this way, but this implies there are certain people with brains that aren't supposedly valuable enough to not be spilled on the battlefield. It makes it sound like "you're smart so it would be a waste", and that it's less of a waste for other people who perhaps are not as nerdy or smart...

Squirrelblanket · 26/02/2022 18:01

My husband is 53 and says he would volunteer for it.

AffIt · 26/02/2022 18:02

This is one of the reasons why countries such as Greece, Israel and Korea impose national service on all young people: not to turn them all into front-line killers, but so they have a baseline 'muscle memory' and can take on certain roles at short notice, such as operations, medics, catering etc, which are of use at a population level.

Yeahthat · 26/02/2022 18:05

@RobotValkyrie

Nope. I'd instruct them very firmly that they have their whole life ahead of them, and I'd be extremely disappointed if they didn't live it to the fullest. And that their lovely nerdy brains are way to valuable to be spilled on a battlefield. And that if anyone had to die for this country or another, it would be me, not them.

Seriously. Given the way modern wars are fought (high tech equipment requiring more brains than brawls), it makes zero sense to send inexperienced, emotionally vulnerable youngsters to the battle front. Let them live.

If anyone tried the cowardly, "I'm too much of a special snowflake to fight for the survival of my own country" that you're suggesting here, then I'd hope that they would be handed a rifle and barred from leaving, just as Ukraine has done for all fighting age men.

If there's an existentialist threat to your country and you refuse to do your part, you deserve to be reviled.

How dare anyone expect to live off other people's sacrifices while doing nothing.

Svara · 26/02/2022 18:06

No, my DS will be 16 in a few months and I would take his place if I could. I'm a fit and healthy woman under 40 and I think I would cope better in a crisis than him.

EthelTheAardvark · 26/02/2022 18:07

DS did think fairly seriously about joining the navy at one point. It wasn't a time when conflict was specifically likely, but of course we were all well aware that he could find himself in dangerous situations at relatively short notice. We were fairly neutral about it: we could see benefits to him of regular secure employment, getting a lot of training in some very useful skills, and clocking up working experience which was likely to be viewed as valuable throughout his life. On the other hand, he was never very good at dealing with activities that he regarded as pointless (and therefore probably wouldn't have copied with drills etc) and I wasn't sure how he would take the discipline involved.

Ultimately he decided against, and I won't pretend I wasn't relieved. DSIL's son by her first marriage was in the army, and she's been through some awful times when she dreaded opening the door or answering the phone.

moretrumpetplease · 26/02/2022 18:08

I'd go in a heartbeat, as would my DSis and DBro. DDad too old, or he'd be away this weekend.

oakleaffy · 26/02/2022 18:09

@sadpapercourtesan

No, cos I'd break his ankles first Grin

Just kidding. No, mine wouldn't volunteer to fight in Ukraine. Why on earth would they? They're not soldiers.

If in some hypothetical parallel universe the tanks were rolling down our local high street, then I imagine we would all do what we could.

Yes, I’d be trying to defend our area should it be invaded, too ( Hypothetically) A Ukrainian woman gave a Russian soldier “ What for” and he seemed quite calm. I wonder how many Russian men are really keen on invading? They are just pawns in Putin’s power play, while Putin is “ Safe” in his Kremlin palace.
Alyssasbackrolls · 26/02/2022 18:10

I don't think the Ukrainian army telling those 18-60 young men fleeing at the border yesterday, with or without family were checking on anything like medical status or autism or any other factor. It was "turn around, go back, you're not going any further. You're needed to fight"

That's war. It's horrific. I have teenage sons and one is (yes very Mumsnet) autistic. I actually think he'd be alright and he's a crack shot with air guns and clays. My more sensitive neurotypical son would find it harder. Of course it would be traumatic for us all. Ukrainian young men do not have a choice. Why do you think our sons would?

EthelTheAardvark · 26/02/2022 18:12

I remember one of those programmes about one of the military colleges where they sat the recruits down and told them to make their wills and write goodbye letters. At that point one of them said it brought home to him how real the risk of death there was and he said he wasn't prepared to lose his entire future. He made it clear that that related to this specific situation, and he wouldn't resist if he were conscripted or the country needed to be defended.

To the credit of his superiors, they sat down and talked it through with him, and then let him leave with their blessing. They more or less said it was a view he was fully entitled to take and they respected him for being brave enough to speak up rather than carry on out of fear of embarrassment.

oakleaffy · 26/02/2022 18:13

@AmosBear

lovely nerdy brains too valuable to he spilled on the battlefield

Because they are nerdy? I'm not sure you meant to this way, but this implies there are certain people with brains that aren't supposedly valuable enough to not be spilled on the battlefield. It makes it sound like "you're smart so it would be a waste", and that it's less of a waste for other people who perhaps are not as nerdy or smart...

Yes, it sounds incredibly arrogant to suggest that “Nerdy” should be spared, not “ Wasted”

Every mother’s son is equally valuable.

Never forget that.

Crimesean · 26/02/2022 18:19

My brother is in the army. I'd try and lock him in a cupboard if the UK was invaded.

DS is only little, but same applies

Yeahthat · 26/02/2022 19:17

@oakleaffy

Exactly. Not to mention that if they were Alan Turing level geniuses as she seems to think, they'd be used somewhere appropriate.

DearlyBeloathed · 26/02/2022 19:34

[quote Yeahthat]@oakleaffy

Exactly. Not to mention that if they were Alan Turing level geniuses as she seems to think, they'd be used somewhere appropriate.[/quote]
Yep.

Swipe left for the next trending thread