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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work trip vrs slightly ill dh

478 replies

Lochnessgiraffe · 24/02/2022 08:10

I've got a work trip today. Staying overnight and coming back late tomorrow night. Dh is now moaning that he doesn't feel well and hinting that I should cancel.
I wfh, have only been their at work a few months and this is my first time to meet people from the office. I'm quite excited tbh.
Now dh is complaining about feeling unwell not covid just unwell and would prefer me to cancel.
We have teenagers who will be fine. They'll stay asleep until lunch then probably game all day. Might notice I'm not there.
So aibu to still go or should I stay home?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 24/02/2022 10:04

ONLY 60k?!

That’s a high wage for my area. It’s about the wage two adults would bring in

Clymene · 24/02/2022 10:04

@Lochnessgiraffe

I think he just wants to moan. Not for me to do anything. Work wise I think my job is important it's only £60k but I work hard for the money. I'd love to earn what he does and have so little to do!
Only £60k? Confused

You're a higher rate tax payer so you're not exactly earning buttons

toomuchlaundry · 24/02/2022 10:05

Only £60k, you do realise many joint incomes don’t add up to that.

Bananalanacake · 24/02/2022 10:05

Is he controlling in other ways, if you were to go out for a meal one Saturday night with some female friends would he be OK or try to sulk/stop you?

Febrier · 24/02/2022 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/02/2022 10:06

@Lochnessgiraffe

I think he just wants to moan. Not for me to do anything. Work wise I think my job is important it's only £60k but I work hard for the money. I'd love to earn what he does and have so little to do!
"only" 60k?! Wow the Big Important Man has really done a job on you hasnt he?!

FWIW I earn a third of what you do and would not take this shit in a month of Sundays.

Howshouldibehave · 24/02/2022 10:08

it's only £60k

Right.

Thisisit2022 · 24/02/2022 10:09

I live ecstatically happily on my own. When I was achy WITH Covid I "nursed" myself through it and relied on Asda and Deliveroo. Stupid man baby.

LittleSnakes · 24/02/2022 10:09

Ugh, same behave

Bananalanacake · 24/02/2022 10:10

On page 2 you said you earn half of what he does, so he's a pretty high earner, of course you can afford a cleaner.

BoredZelda · 24/02/2022 10:10

Work wise I think my job is important it's only £60k

🤔

Newestname002 · 24/02/2022 10:11

What they all said, @Lochnessgiraffe

Instead of encouraging you to strike out and have a good day and build your career, he's trying to hold you back in the slot he thinks you belong in.

You're even prepping lunch before you leave. Would he do this for you? Is he likely to do any little jobs around the house whilst you are at your event? No?

You go and have a good day, OP. 🌹

WonderfulYou · 24/02/2022 10:12

I’m sorry but this would give me massive red flags.

It’s a bit of a coincidence that he started feeling unwell on the day of your trip.

Is he on his death bed?
If not then there’s no need to cancel - what are you supposed to do rub vicks on his chest all night?

Go and have a great time.
I would also look into getting some hobbies and being out of the house more. This needs to be nipped in the bud.

My friends partner was like this - every time she was going out he would suddenly get ill or the car would break down and she couldn’t go out.
One time he faked an illness/accident in his daughter and took her to hospital. He kept changing his story about what was wrong with her and even the hospital staff said there’s nothing wrong with her and he’s not sticking to the same story, SS got involved. He blamed me and my friend because we’d been in tesco for almost 20mins and she’s not been out without him since as he made her feel so guilty.

PeacefulPrune · 24/02/2022 10:12

Ask him directly if he wants you to stay, so that he stops dropping these annoying hints. And then you can explain how you are definitely going because it's important to you. And explain how he can definitely manage without you.

I hope you enjoy your time away.

picklemewalnuts · 24/02/2022 10:13

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints it's an equal partnership where we each have different strengths. I'm a bit disorganised, but very emotionally aware. He hasn't lost his credit card. Ever. Not once. My ability to lose it every two-five years probably looks childish to him.

As @NoSquirrels says, people are complicated.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 24/02/2022 10:14

Lol "only £60k". Just pocket money then?

WonderfulYou · 24/02/2022 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

SusieQ5604 · 24/02/2022 10:15

Just...ugh. GO!!!!!! I bet he wouldn't cancel a work trip for you!!!

girlmom21 · 24/02/2022 10:15

Oh you may as well just stay home and look after him if you're only earning £60k then...

toomuchlaundry · 24/02/2022 10:15

OP is a longtime poster

Original poster
Lochnessgiraffe · 24/02/2022 10:17

He does have form for being 'ill' if I've got to go somewhere but he hasn't done it for a few years.
I'm going out for dinner with some of my colleagues tonight but I darent mention it or he'll definitely be too ill for me to go

OP posts:
TatianaBis · 24/02/2022 10:17

What's the betting "Only 60k" comes from DH.

TatianaBis · 24/02/2022 10:18

@Lochnessgiraffe

He does have form for being 'ill' if I've got to go somewhere but he hasn't done it for a few years. I'm going out for dinner with some of my colleagues tonight but I darent mention it or he'll definitely be too ill for me to go
I don't know how you have patience with this kind of nonsense.
diddl · 24/02/2022 10:18

"only £60k"

You could easily leave him then!

Howshouldibehave · 24/02/2022 10:18

@toomuchlaundry

OP is a longtime poster
Shame then that they can’t read the room, and see that is a fuck tonne of money, especially when her husband earns double.
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