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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drag Queen at a Primary School - continuation thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490413-Drag-Queen-at-a-Primary-School-Thread-2?watched=1

999 replies

Lennyllama · 23/02/2022 11:22

What are your views on a drag queen visiting a primary school for the day? Think thigh high leather boots with short revealing dresses and a dance show. The drag queen spent the day at school. Did a show for KS2 and then went around to individual classes to read a story book. The school had a themed dress up day. The theme was This is Me. Parents were not informed that this would be happening and were not given the option to opt in or out of the experience. The school has a very diverse mix of cultures and religions. This particular queen is easily found online, the kids were told their stage name and their content is rather steamy.

YANBU- It’s inappropriate
YABU- It’s appropriate

I have name changed for this.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
39
Whatamesssss · 23/02/2022 16:00

[quote Bintymcbintface]@ClaireFraser a drag queen going into a primary school isn't going to be doing an explicit act, just because some drag queens do doesn't mean that they all do or that they don't tailor their performances for their audiences. Unless there's proof that the DQ mentioned in the OP did an explicit performance or had overly enhanced "assets" I truly don't see what the fuss is about. (no a sparkly dress a la Britney spears doesn't count as offensive) "I don't like it, I don't like drag queens" doesn't really cut it as a valid argument against it[/quote]
I have no idea of the content of the DQ in OP's Primary school, but there are others that have been in Libraries also in inappropriate dress, questionable names and stripping off their skirt and teaching twerking in front of very young children. It is not necessary and it is grooming.

At least 2 in America Drag Story Hour have subsequently been convicted of child sexual abuse and are now in Prison. I am not saying they all have ulterior motives but a fair few of them have, would you take this risk with your child?

KatieB55 · 23/02/2022 16:00

I dislike it all greatly. Drag Race is continually promoted on all BBC channels at family times and it's not appropriate. Our local theatre also had story time with a drag queen over half-term. I was going to watch Celebrity Hunted until I saw that also had a drag queen. OP I would complain to the school as I don't see that this has any educational value.

TheUsualShitshow · 23/02/2022 16:00

[quote Bintymcbintface]@mummykel16 did the show have any kind of explicit or sexual content or is OP just in a flap because her dc saw a man in a dress?[/quote]
A man in a dress would be no problem.

A man in sexy lingerie in a primary school actually is a problem, and if you stopped polishing your Cool Girl badge for a sec you could admit that.

Pisces89 · 23/02/2022 16:01

@Rosehugger

Are the school on glue?
GrinGrinGrin
TonyBravo · 23/02/2022 16:02

We have a famous drag Queen in the family, so obviously I'm bias however.

There is no way a DQ walked into a school and performed the same adult routine they do on stage every night. They quite obviously had a much more toned down persona to spend time in a school.

Very much the same way that when I'm working a Saturday night bar that's loud, rowdy and crude, I will behave one way, vs a family Sunday lunchtime bar when then are kids and their families, pensioners etc trying to eat a roast, I will behave totally differently. That's common sense.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 23/02/2022 16:02

We should be teaching our DC how to eradicate sexual stereotyping not fucking encouraging it. Drag is promoting sexualised extreme stereotypes and has no place in society, let alone schools.

Bintymcbintface · 23/02/2022 16:02

The DQ in the OP had either a sparkly dress on or a pair of sparkly trousers (there were pics of what looked like 2 different performers so it's hard to know which was which) nobody was in lingerie

CIaireFraser · 23/02/2022 16:03

[quote Bintymcbintface]@ClaireFraser a drag queen going into a primary school isn't going to be doing an explicit act, just because some drag queens do doesn't mean that they all do or that they don't tailor their performances for their audiences. Unless there's proof that the DQ mentioned in the OP did an explicit performance or had overly enhanced "assets" I truly don't see what the fuss is about. (no a sparkly dress a la Britney spears doesn't count as offensive) "I don't like it, I don't like drag queens" doesn't really cut it as a valid argument against it[/quote]
Actually, 'I believe that DQs are misogynistic and portray women in a grotesque way' absolutely is a valid arguement.

It's up to the individual what they want their child to see. And the OP clearly doesn't want hers to be read stories by a man in womanface.

Drag Queen at a Primary School - continuation thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490413-Drag-Queen-at-a-Primary-School-Thread-2?watched=1
CIaireFraser · 23/02/2022 16:05

The screenshot outlines the OP's concerns re the DQ's other work, and safeguarding issues.

Bintymcbintface · 23/02/2022 16:05

Right and tonnes and tonnes of men and women have been convicted of equally horrific crimes, what's your point? I assume the school vets visitors for the safeguarding of children regardless of what they're there for or what their job might be. I think it's gross to imply that children are at risk around DQ because some of have been convicted of crimes. By that logic they're at risk around everyone

WonderfulYou · 23/02/2022 16:07

OK! Then why wouldn't any transperson have been a good enough example? Or a besuited woman etc?

Because a transperson believes they were born in the wrong body - so they were born a male but believe in their mind they’re a female.

A DQ/cross dressers does not believe that - they believe they are men but enjoy dressing up in women’s clothing.

There’s a massive difference between the message a transperson would send and a DQ.
One is saying they wear a dress because they believe they’re a women, the other is wearing a dress simply because they enjoy wearing it.

I also think they’ll be as many, if not more parents against transpeople going into schools spreading their message than a DQ anyway.

oakleaffy · 23/02/2022 16:09

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

Quite recently the Twitter account of Drag Queen Story Hour had to lock down a Tweet with a pro-pedophilia message. The tweet contained a photo of a smiling man wearing a rainbow suit and wielding a rainbow umbrella with the phrase “Love has no age!”. This is a slogan regularly trumped by people pushing to lower ages of consent. Google the slogan and Minor Attracted Persons. Quite horrifying.

Also Desmond is Amazing. Another drag star but a child.

MAP persons is horrific. This sexualisation of young children is not on :(
Bintymcbintface · 23/02/2022 16:09

I understand people wanting to have a choice about what their DC see and I do see the validity in the argument there re not being told. However as I said before, just because the DQ does risqué performances elsewhere doesn't mean they're about to in a primary school. If there are worries about what dc might find in the Internet because they know the DQ name, that's down to the parents and monitoring web activity. Google just about any celebrity and you can find less than child friendly things about them

OshaOsha · 23/02/2022 16:10

I wouldn't care if the drag queen was wearing something like this, for example.

Drag Queen at a Primary School - continuation thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490413-Drag-Queen-at-a-Primary-School-Thread-2?watched=1
Drag Queen at a Primary School - continuation thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490413-Drag-Queen-at-a-Primary-School-Thread-2?watched=1
Drag Queen at a Primary School - continuation thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490413-Drag-Queen-at-a-Primary-School-Thread-2?watched=1
OshaOsha · 23/02/2022 16:10

.... Why didn't the photos show

Drag Queen at a Primary School - continuation thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490413-Drag-Queen-at-a-Primary-School-Thread-2?watched=1
Drag Queen at a Primary School - continuation thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4490413-Drag-Queen-at-a-Primary-School-Thread-2?watched=1
OshaOsha · 23/02/2022 16:11

Oh they did Grin oops

TheUsualShitshow · 23/02/2022 16:12

@Bintymcbintface

The DQ in the OP had either a sparkly dress on or a pair of sparkly trousers (there were pics of what looked like 2 different performers so it's hard to know which was which) nobody was in lingerie
Wrong again, Binty. The OP posted saying this is the DQ.
Bintymcbintface · 23/02/2022 16:12

@TonyBravo thank you for being a voice of reason in this

theDudesmummy · 23/02/2022 16:13

WHAT'S THE SAFEGURDING PROBLEM? Can you be serious?

oakleaffy · 23/02/2022 16:13

@CIaireFraser

I notice not one person complaining about my comment has mentioned the difference between panto and drag that makes one OK and not the other

That's been covered upthread.

In theatre men have always taken female roles. The pantomime dame is the legacy of that. The clothes they wear are not hypersexualised, they are not called things like FloJob. The name of their character is usually derived from the original story eg Widow Twanky. Their act is not aimed at adults, and th actor who plays them is not an adult entertainer on the side.

Can you spot the difference?

Pantomime Dames traditionally wear many many layers for their role- and never sexualised
Bintymcbintface · 23/02/2022 16:13

I did say a sparkly dress or trousers it wasn't clear to be which pic was which performer. So a sparkly dress, not lingerie, how was I wrong

affairsofdragons · 23/02/2022 16:14

If your children go to pantos, then YABU.

Polyputthekettleon · 23/02/2022 16:14

I wouldn't be happy at all. I would complain esp if parents weren't informed about it.

DomesticatedZombie · 23/02/2022 16:14

@Bintymcbintface

Right and tonnes and tonnes of men and women have been convicted of equally horrific crimes, what's your point? I assume the school vets visitors for the safeguarding of children regardless of what they're there for or what their job might be. I think it's gross to imply that children are at risk around DQ because some of have been convicted of crimes. By that logic they're at risk around everyone
Yes, children are by definition 'at risk' around everyone, this is what is meant by a vulnerable group, and this is why we have safeguarding, and why adults are responsible for the safety and wellbeing of children in their care.
CityMumma78 · 23/02/2022 16:15

OMG I’d be fucking livid if this took place at my children’s school without any prior communication or parental approval!
This is totally inappropriate and unacceptable and I don’t see how a man in sexualised clothes helps to support or enhances a child’s education!!!!!