To ask if you wash your bed linen every time you have sex?

[StandingOvulation]

I tend towards slatternity so I didn't realise this was A Thing

Luckily it's only high days and holidays nowadays, so it's not as though Id be ploughing through the Bold on Bed sheets.

It's this another MN requirement where I come up wanting?

YABU: wash em straight away you grim creature.

YANBU: Meh, wash Em on the normal processing time, no need to rush.

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I change my bedlinen on Friday night.

So no. But I figure it's only me and him sleeping in it between times so it doesn't matter.

This thread got me thinking about special Christmas bedding - the manufacturers are missing a trick, they could be selling special sex bedding with I dunno, condom patterns on or whatever!

So the people who are are worried about the children, do you really quickly whip the sheets off immediately after you’ve had sex in case the children come in? That does sound quite bonkers. If you’re that worried could you not just put a towel over to cover it up whilst it dries? I think I probably lose a lot more liquid in sweat during the night!! Also those of us that used to wake up in a puddle of milk when breastfeeding, I wouldn’t be whipping the sheets off immediately in case my child sat on it, it just stick a towel down in case it was really soaked and change the sheets later.

I now have these visions of people running around naked changing the sheets like a carry on film before the children come in!

Also, the poster who was worried about explaining the wet patch to their children, surely they be more concerned about explaining what they were doing a few minutes earlier if the child decides to burst in then. Not sure I could properly relax for sex with the threat of children bursting in all the time!!

Nope but there's not really any mess.... if you are doing it properly there isnt any....

@zoeFromCity

We have a special leak proof blanket, which we throw on top of whatever bedding we have. It has cool and warm sides and feels special. I definitely don't want to sleep in wet or having to change sheets immediately after. Sometimes we let it dry and air, or run a short program in washing machine.

Is there some kind of ritual dance to be done with the leak proof blanket?

@Baileys123

Every time I never wanna risk my children getting in

@Baileys123 What do you think would happen if they did?!

I not only wash the bed sheets, I dry clean the curtains and scrub the skirting with bleach post-coitally, just for good measure.

To be more efficient, I now have sex in a house dress and marigolds and stack up some cleaning products on the bedside tables, it saves time and DH finds the rubber gloves quite erotic. The problem is, I've started to associate sex with laundry so much that even the whiff of a pack of Persil sends me into a feverish frenzy. I have to avoid that aisle in the supermarket.

[quote zoeFromCity]**@Wiredforsound, @AutomaticMoon
Yes, Liberator Fascinator throw.

I love it. Towels/leak pad wasn't right for us - too much worrying about position of the towel, and it felt somehow undignifying, as if the wetness was something wrong.
As a bonus, the throw isolates even mundane wetness like sweat.[/quote]
Just checked Amazon - it's currently out of stock. Mumsnetters have been busy with the credit card this morning

I especially love that you can get it in a travel size too. The pp who brings towels on holidays could invest in this instead.

@VitalsStable

DH thought this was normal when we got together but him and girlfriend only did it Sunday nights which happened to be the day before laundry day in their house. Nutters. We have sex probably 3-5 days a week. I love fresh clean bedding and do ours twice a week but that's my limit I'm afraid!

they ... they co-ordinated Sex Night with Laundry Night? That's sort of admirable.

JFC sex blankets are real. And made out of plush?!

Does it get washed afterwards? Or just rolled up like some kind of nasty sex burrito?

I'm a bit confused by the lace dress, too, tbh.

We put a fresh bin bag down each time then throw it away.
You can keep a roll of them in the bedside cabinet.

What you're missing, Donkey, is the trick of having sex inside the binbag.

@Qwill

“Every time I never wanna risk my children getting in”

Getting in what?!!! What on Earth do you think is going to happen to them? This is by far the oddest thing I’ve read on here, and there has been some bonkers comments through the years!

Touching a yucky stain presumably. Don't think it's that weird. Yes, they wouldn't realise, still ick. (Having said that, I don't wash every time)

@AdifferentGoat

Also, where does one go about purchasing a 'sex sheet'? Does it come in colours? Asking for a friend.

Back when dark coloured sheets were the thing, I'm very old, the wet patches would dry and leave white-ish marks that looked a bit grim! This thread has made me wonder who got the dining table from our Army quarter, it certainly saw some action!

We do it 3-5x a week, i only change the sheets once or sometimes twice. I refuse to have sex on very fresh sheets though, so if we feel up for it right after i washed them, we resort to the shower or a standing position

@HoveringDonkeyofKnock

We put a fresh bin bag down each time then throw it away. You can keep a roll of them in the bedside cabinet.

Please tell you're joking, I've had a dreadful nights sleep and I'm knackered and I can't tell If this is a wind up!

@SmallPrawnEnergy

I'm flabbergasted at all this 'wetness' getting everywhere! I think I can remember once when there was any 'spillage' of any kind and it was a tiny patch.

Poor you. But at least you’re confident enough to admit you have terrible sex I suppose, if you’re not even wet enough to create a “tiny” patch. Perhaps your husband can read a few books?

Crikey, so defensive. Did somebody insult your sheets? Overly wet isn't that great either, you can't feel as much if there's no friction. No need to have a go at pp, sounds like you're not doing it right either

@ExConstance

At my age I regard any marks on the sheets as a badge of honour.

No

When I was in my 20s and 30s sex was a nightly event so no I didn't change the sheets every time.

Due to DH disability not an issue now.

@GrendelsGrandma

I not only wash the bed sheets, I dry clean the curtains and scrub the skirting with bleach post-coitally, just for good measure.

To be more efficient, I now have sex in a house dress and marigolds and stack up some cleaning products on the bedside tables, it saves time and DH finds the rubber gloves quite erotic. The problem is, I've started to associate sex with laundry so much that even the whiff of a pack of Persil sends me into a feverish frenzy. I have to avoid that aisle in the supermarket.

Pmsl

What if you do it on the sofa, the carpet, the kitchen table?

Carpet is burned if it gets a wet patch. Lino would probably be better tbh and then we could just mop it, but I prefer a nice shag pile.

[quote zoeFromCity]**@Wiredforsound, @AutomaticMoon
Yes, Liberator Fascinator throw.

I love it. Towels/leak pad wasn't right for us - too much worrying about position of the towel, and it felt somehow undignifying, as if the wetness was something wrong.
As a bonus, the throw isolates even mundane wetness like sweat.[/quote]
Mundane Wetness is a great band name

With no partner ever have I experienced the volume of fluid that some of you are describing. - you are lucky!!! Like Noah's Flood for my OH!!

@SmallPrawnEnergy

I'm flabbergasted at all this 'wetness' getting everywhere! I think I can remember once when there was any 'spillage' of any kind and it was a tiny patch.

Poor you. But at least you’re confident enough to admit you have terrible sex I suppose, if you’re not even wet enough to create a “tiny” patch. Perhaps your husband can read a few books?

Read the room, love. No place for that bitchiness here.

No, back to the shagging sheets…