To ask if you wash your bed linen every time you have sex?

[StandingOvulation]

I tend towards slatternity so I didn't realise this was A Thing

Luckily it's only high days and holidays nowadays, so it's not as though Id be ploughing through the Bold on Bed sheets.

It's this another MN requirement where I come up wanting?

YABU: wash em straight away you grim creature.

YANBU: Meh, wash Em on the normal processing time, no need to rush.

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If you've found this page in your search of how to clean up after sex and cleaning your sex toys, you might find our guide to the best sex toy cleaners useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

I wonder if the Mumsnetters' vastly different experiences of spillage - from pools that might get your kids's legs all wet if they "got into it" to no spillage at all - might have something to do with the state of their Kegel muscles.

I properly guffawed at this thread whilst at work (I'm an accountant) and when people looked up in surprise, I ended up explaining that I was "having to work on a particularly funny spreadsheet".

@Baileys123

Every time I never wanna risk my children getting in

Bodily fluids 😬

Oh…..wait a minute, my kids came out of my vagina so it’s not like they haven’t been in contact with bodily fluids before.

I would like to say ‘no I don’t wash my bedding after sex as that would mean washing it every day’ but sadly my bedding gets washed more often than I have sex.

Jesus is this still on the go 😂

Bit of sperm never hurt anyone.

No different from any other bodily fluid.

I wash all the bed linen each week. We use condoms so no mess.

I used to work with a bloke , who could only have sex on Friday nights, so His wife could wash the sheets on the Saturday n He announced it to us all in the staff room !!!

@JonSnowIsALoser

I wonder if the Mumsnetters' vastly different experiences of spillage - from pools that might get your kids's legs all wet if they "got into it" to no spillage at all - might have something to do with the state of their Kegel muscles.

Probably not. I don't have children and I've slept with more than one man Man 1 - tiny wet patch Man 2 - giant wet patch

You would have thought a man who's wife had those views might offer to wash the sheets himself...

Our sex is so wild I end up having to wash the curtains too!

Sheets? Nah! Mop up the mess if it's on my side and wash within a day or too
Life is too short!

@Bonbud

I used to work with a bloke , who could only have sex on Friday nights, so His wife could wash the sheets on the Saturday n He announced it to us all in the staff room !!!

Ah jaysus that's hilarious 😂

@AhNowTed

Jesus is this still on the go 😂

Bit of sperm never hurt anyone.

No different from any other bodily fluid.

Tell that to my ring of fire

@Qwill

“Every time I never wanna risk my children getting in”

Getting in what?!!! What on Earth do you think is going to happen to them? This is by far the oddest thing I’ve read on here, and there has been some bonkers comments through the years!

You do know that your baby was made from his sperm & your egg right? Oh and they came out if your vagina. I mean ffs what planet are some people on 🙈🙈🙈

@Bonbud

I used to work with a bloke , who could only have sex on Friday nights, so His wife could wash the sheets on the Saturday n He announced it to us all in the staff room !!!

🤣🤣🤣

Saw the thread title, came here for the laughs, was not disappointed!! Squirrels has killed me off 😂😂😂
Usually grab the nearest bit of clothing and run to the bathroom, if there's a bit of spillage then usually a baby wipe will do.
If we've had a particularly fun night (courtesy of Ann Summers 😉) then we throw a towel down afterwards and wash the sheet the next day.
Though we have a 2 year old who despises sleep so those nights are few and far between, we're doing well if we can grab a quicky once a week at the moment 🙈😂

Oh @Baileys123 do grow up. ‘Dirt bags’ are you 12?

@StarlightLady

Just checking. I often have sex on the sofa. Do l need to buy a new settee afterwards? 😂

No don't be silly.

You have to burn it.

Then move house.

Yes - it's been 6 years ...

Ok, for @Baileys123 - I guess it depends on so many factors.

1 - spunk viscosity - some men, much more, um, fluid than others!
2 - female production - women all produce more or less stuff depending on person, cycle, age etc etc etc
3 - where on the bed. On the bottom edge of the bed is one thing. At the top end, hips near pillows, quite another
4 - size/ age of child. 52cm newborn, or giant 2 yr old who wears size 4 clothes and goes roaming around the bed!

As you can imagine, all this is just my personal experience, but bottom of the bed with guy who has minimal "output", followed by bringing newborn into new. That's one thing.

Up against bedhead/ pillows with extra- volume man, when I was at my most... fluid, with a2 year old popping in to chat with soggy mess at shoulder level when lying down. Absolutely not.

These absolute reactions don't allow for the many and varied experiences we all have (or don't).

Meanwhile, I once had a boyfriend who insisted on me lying on a towel.

He also colour coded his wardrobe, and turned all the tins to face the right way in the kitchen, so, you know, not a very relaxed guy all around.

Horses for courses. Or squirrels.🐿

Um, no. I always get up for a wee and a wash after sex because of recurring cystitis. We change sheets one a week unless they're visibly soiled.

What do some of these people do when staying in an hotel?

You do know that your baby was made from his sperm & your egg right? Oh and they came out if your vagina. I mean ffs what planet are some people on

Breastmilk in your tea when you come round mine, then. Hush now, you drank breastmilk as a baby, it's no different.

Sex? Ah yes I think I remember that…..once a week for the sheets as once a year is a bit yucky 😂

@StarlightLady

What do some of these people do when staying in an hotel?

'Room service? Yes, can I have a full bed change, a beaker and a cigar, please?'

layering sheets is ok if you have enough sheets! spose bit like a fancy pass the parcel taking layers off but doubt there is a prize at the end!

I'm shocked at how much sex people are having, especially parents 😧

But on a sidenote I've just realised another benefit to being a lesbian ..we don't have to deal with the post sex clean up and obligatory run to the bathroom afterwards or apparently sheet change as is the case for some!