3 year old saying Bog

[Shurdle]

Got pulled aside by nursery last week to say DS was calling the toilet “the bog”. I know in the UK some words are more acceptable than in other parts but where we are “bog” is considered crude slang. So obviously I told nursery I didn’t know where he’d got that from as we don’t say it but I’d ensure he knows the word is toilet.
On Friday he spent the day with my parents and came home calling the toilet the bog again. I messaged my mum to ask if she knew where he was getting it from and she said she had been saying it to him as it was easier than toilet which he was struggling to say. I told her nursery wasn’t happy and I didn’t like it either so could she stop. She laughed and said I was being precious but agreed she would continue teaching “toilet”.

He was with my parents yesterday afternoon and whilst in the bath he pointed to the toilet and said “that’s a shithouse”. Now I know my father says this but I don’t believe he would tell DS to say this so I reckon my mum has told him that I was complaining about the bog word and my father has said something like “call it the shithouse then” as a joke and DS has overheard??

Anyway my aibu - I rely on my parents heavily for childcare which they insist on doing for free. Do I just let it go rather than causing a scene bringing it up again??

YABU - confront them about saying bad words in front of DS
YANBU - let it go, it’s not worth the fallout.

Do neither. Say to them that it doesn’t matter to you what he says but because nursery doesn’t like it he will be told off there for doing it and not understand what he’s done wrong.

Where do you live that bog is considered such a bad word? I really couldn't get upset about it, the more you fuss about what word he's supposed to use the more he's likely to think it's funny to use the wrong one.

I’d prefer bog to a shithouse

We’re in East Yorkshire. Maybe I am over reacting if it isn’t that bad a word. It just sounds awful to me but I know I’m some parts the word toilet is considered rude

DS got into massive trouble for saying ‘fart’

I went into school and showed them the nhs website that uses the word fart and let them know they also use it on CBeebies. People are weird

@Chichimcgee

DS got into massive trouble for saying ‘fart’

I went into school and showed them the nhs website that uses the word fart and let them know they also use it on CBeebies. People are weird

See, fart to me sounds like swearing!

Oh dear lord! Bog is bad enough but shit house? Honestly. I’d be fuming! ‘Loo’ is bad enough but not rude and easier to say!

Shithouse is awful. Especially for a 3 year old!!! Big is alright - but not normal I guess. Can they teach him loo?

@Shurdle my parents always said it was a deer word. Ds has bowel issues and a reoccurring questions at appointments with consultants and nurses is can he fart. If you go on the 111 website about tummy problems it asks if you’re able to fart. Then I heard them say it on CBeebies so I was like obviously it’s ok then lol

@Shurdle

We’re in East Yorkshire. Maybe I am over reacting if it isn’t that bad a word. It just sounds awful to me but I know I’m some parts the word toilet is considered rude

I'm with you though. It's not a nice word and would be frowned upon by my parents and most people I know save for impolite. Has been my experience in all the places I've lived in UK so far - never lived in North but you do and are of same view.

I would just say, please don't use those words, we say toilet. He'll get it eventually. I'd be horrified by shithouse, your dad needs to learn that small children parrot everything they hear. Bog is not ideal, it's a bit crude to me.

Our nursery say pop rather than fart. We still say fart at home though, he hasn't been told off for saying it. It had never occurred to me not to, quite honestly!

Your problem is with nursery. Ok so ‘bog’ is maybe not ideal. But the child is communicating his needs which is what matters. I would be furious about shithouse though.

Cheer yourself up with the ‘dunny’ episode of Bluey

I think you need to speak to your parents again. It's all very well them thinking it's funny, but do they actually realise that they're getting their grandson into trouble by teaching him this? He's going to have to un-learn the habit of calling the toilet the "bog" & now potentially the "shithouse". What on earth was your father thinking, letting him hear that!?

You need to have a conversation with your DS as well, & explain that sometimes grown ups use grown up words for things that children aren't allowed to use because they're a bit rude. And that his GPs are a little bit silly for teaching him the grown up words.

As for the nursery, just explain what's gone on & say you're trying your best to rectify it & can they please understand it's not your son being naughty, he didn't realise bog was a bad/inappropriate word.

See, fart to me sounds like swearing!

I definitely think you're being precious about fart and bog! And so is the nursery! I can't believe they'd even mention it tbh.

But that's irrelevant really anyway. If you don't like it, that's your prerogative. I'd not make a huge deal about it with your parents but I would continue to firmly ask them not to teach him those words.

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?

If he's going to continually pick up things you don't like, should they be having him? I'm with you by the way, I don't want mine saying the boy, fart and definitely not shithouse

I think you just need to make it clear to your parents that this isn't about you being precious, its about their dgs getting into trouble at nursery. Some people think its funny to teach small children to swear, and if your df is one of these then you need to find alternative child care.

I'm in the northwest ,Bog to me is slang not rude particularly ,I prefer loo.

I'm amazed the nursery felt the need to speak to you about it! Really it's just a very childish slang word which if they don't like they could just say to him, we call it the toilet or loo at nursery. Now shithouse I could understand :-D

Your naughty dad has probably been chuckling ever since he (perhaps accidentally) taught his GS to say shithouse 😀
Where I am people mildly curse or use less-than-beautiful expressions around kids all the time and the kids just learn that they aren’t to use the same vocabulary.

Bog and fart are awful words and wouldn't be acceptable coming from a child's mouth to me.

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?

I am quite "prudish" about swearing generally but this is silly. What's wrong with the word "bog" other than being a little coarse? For goodness sake. And then calling the parent to one side to have a go at her about it. Why do care givers do this? Tell the kid not to say it at nursery and move on. Not make a mountain out of not-even-mole-hill.

Although I think some care givers are a little sensitive - I mentioned yesterday that I was pulled up by my son's childminder some years ago for saying I was knackered.

See, fart to me sounds like swearing!

You need to get a grip

I'd do nothing. Don't give it any more steam with your Dad and just correct your son and tell him to use your preferred word. Tell nursery to do the same. I don't know why they can't deal with this and need your intervention anyway, but I'm another one who doesn't see 'bog' as swearing.

I always thought fart was a bit sweary actually. Just how I was brought up to see it. I always thought the yard stick was whether I would like my child to use it when speaking to his teacher. Then my friend, who is a teacher, taught her son to use fart!