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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

3 year old saying Bog

260 replies

Shurdle · 22/02/2022 07:23

Got pulled aside by nursery last week to say DS was calling the toilet “the bog”. I know in the UK some words are more acceptable than in other parts but where we are “bog” is considered crude slang. So obviously I told nursery I didn’t know where he’d got that from as we don’t say it but I’d ensure he knows the word is toilet.
On Friday he spent the day with my parents and came home calling the toilet the bog again. I messaged my mum to ask if she knew where he was getting it from and she said she had been saying it to him as it was easier than toilet which he was struggling to say. I told her nursery wasn’t happy and I didn’t like it either so could she stop. She laughed and said I was being precious but agreed she would continue teaching “toilet”.

He was with my parents yesterday afternoon and whilst in the bath he pointed to the toilet and said “that’s a shithouse”. Now I know my father says this but I don’t believe he would tell DS to say this so I reckon my mum has told him that I was complaining about the bog word and my father has said something like “call it the shithouse then” as a joke and DS has overheard??

Anyway my aibu - I rely on my parents heavily for childcare which they insist on doing for free. Do I just let it go rather than causing a scene bringing it up again??

YABU - confront them about saying bad words in front of DS
YANBU - let it go, it’s not worth the fallout.

OP posts:
crisplovingmummy · 22/02/2022 13:33

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No 😂😂
DappledThings · 22/02/2022 13:36

@rainbowandglitter

Bog and fart are awful words and wouldn't be acceptable coming from a child's mouth to me.
That's ridiculous.
beck01 · 22/02/2022 13:39

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No! I'm literally having belly laughs whilst sitting silently in this boring online meeting 🤣🤣🤣
Hugasauras · 22/02/2022 13:41

TIL I have erred as a parent by teaching 3yo DD to say fart instead of some twee pump, trump, puff alternative. It's a minefield this parenting lark!

Cocomarine · 22/02/2022 13:42

@DappledThings why is it ridiculous?

Who gets to decide what’s OK and what’s awful?

Urine / Faeces
Number 1 / Number 2
Slash / Dump
Poo / Wee
Poo poo / wee wee
Shit / Piss

Which of those are OK from a child in your opinion, and which are not - and why, and why do any of us get to decide?

If my toddler announced they were off for a slash and might squeeze one out whilst they’re there, I’d howl with laughter inside - but it’s language I’d steer them away from!

DappledThings · 22/02/2022 13:46

[quote Cocomarine]@DappledThings why is it ridiculous?

Who gets to decide what’s OK and what’s awful?

Urine / Faeces
Number 1 / Number 2
Slash / Dump
Poo / Wee
Poo poo / wee wee
Shit / Piss

Which of those are OK from a child in your opinion, and which are not - and why, and why do any of us get to decide?

If my toddler announced they were off for a slash and might squeeze one out whilst they’re there, I’d howl with laughter inside - but it’s language I’d steer them away from![/quote]
Only shit and piss would raise an eyebrow from me.

Being upset by fart and bog is ridiculous because bog is slang but not swearing at all and fart, s multiple PPs have pointed out is used by the NHS, definitely not swearing.

thepeopleversuswork · 22/02/2022 13:49

I couldn't get upset about the word bog. Shithouse, yes. Bog is so innocuous. As is fart.

I honestly don't know how people get through life getting so upset about the mildest words.

If its a deal-breaker for your nursery just ask him not to use it there. I would honestly laugh at this though.

Insertdeadcatsnamehere · 22/02/2022 13:55

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No!
thepeopleversuswork · 22/02/2022 14:08

@Hugasauras

TIL I have erred as a parent by teaching 3yo DD to say fart instead of some twee pump, trump, puff alternative. It's a minefield this parenting lark!
I can't bear twee fart substitutes, or twee substitutes for any other kind of "rude" words come to that.

I can't see what purpose is served by making words so far removed from what they describe, other than to confuse children and make them feel ashamed.

DysmalRadius · 22/02/2022 14:26

I'm amazed that so many people find fart rude - all the suggested alternatives are words that already have a meaning (trump, pump, pop etc) which makes it seem doubly pointless to not use the one word that only means fart.

Mind you, I was pulled aside at preschool once because my son had said 'penis' and they wanted to know where he'd learned it. I told him that I had taught him and they didn't really know what to say, except that they usually used 'willy' or 'winkie'. I told them I didn't mind if they wanted to use those words and there was a bit of an awkward silence before I just said 'Ok then, thanks, bye' and it was never brought up again!

Bancha · 22/02/2022 14:27

@ChargingBuck fair enough! Grin it would never occur to me that some people might find that a rude word! You live and learn.

GreenWhiteViolet · 22/02/2022 14:36

I think the person calling their knickers 'kax' is more likely to have derived it from 'kecks' (trousers) than 'kaka' Grin

I hate twee euphemisms too, and actually 'pumped' gives me a very unpleasant mental image of the pumping of gas and seems much worse than the humble fart!

ChargingBuck · 22/02/2022 15:08

[quote Bancha]@ChargingBuck fair enough! Grin it would never occur to me that some people might find that a rude word! You live and learn.[/quote]
Oh, I don't find it "rude" Bancha! Grin
It just makes me shudder ...

DickMabutt73962 · 22/02/2022 15:26

He struggles to say toilet but can manage shit house?

Walkingalot · 22/02/2022 15:51

I hate the word bog and shithouse is worse. Tell them quite simply that nursery have deemed slang words not appropriate, please stop. He needs to learn the correct words and even if he mispronounces, that's the sweetest part of them learning!

Shurdle · 22/02/2022 16:44

He doesn’t say shithouse properly but I could work out what he was trying to say as I know my dad says it

OP posts:
VeeringTowardsMuff1ns · 22/02/2022 17:04

@Georgeskitchen

I'm a northerner (tother side o't'Pennines) and I find it incredibly difficult (and slightly amusing) to believe that anyone in Yorkshire would calling a toilet a bog is offensive. Someone please tell me I'm wrong🤣
I’m in EY and don’t for big at all offensive - guessing the OP probably lives in Beverley…
VeeringTowardsMuff1ns · 22/02/2022 17:05

FFS autocorrect! Obviously I Mrs t that you say ‘find bog’.

VeeringTowardsMuff1ns · 22/02/2022 17:06

Argh! Serve me right for having fat thumbs 😬

20viona · 22/02/2022 17:10

@OnceuponaRainbow18 haha oh I love your response.

shinynewapple22 · 22/02/2022 17:23

@MissDollyMix - if you consider the word toilet to be 'nasty and vulgar', what on earth do you call the bog/shithouse in your house ??

bingandflop · 22/02/2022 17:35

Crying with laughter at this thread! Grin

But in seriousness where I am bog is slang but fairly crude. Of the list above I wouldn't like shit / piss or dump/slash. I think urine / faeces would be odd from a young child. I'd I heard a toddler say 'I am off to defecate' I would be a bit Confused

bingandflop · 22/02/2022 17:36

If

TheFlyHalfsMum · 22/02/2022 17:37

Tell him it’s called a loo. Toilet was always the crude unspeakable word when I was a kid! Bog on the other hand…🤣

Marmelace · 22/02/2022 17:47

[quote Migrainesbythedozen]@campion Loo sounds dirty and vulgar to me, I don't understand the UK obsession with the word. Why can't they use the proper term, which is toilet.[/quote]
The word toilet comes from the word toilette, used to describe someone's appearance. It would actually be deemed as very common by posh people. It's one of those words that people used to look higher in class, a bit similar to using serviette rather than napkin. Loo and lavatory were far more acceptable apparently.