3 year old saying Bog

[Shurdle]

Got pulled aside by nursery last week to say DS was calling the toilet “the bog”. I know in the UK some words are more acceptable than in other parts but where we are “bog” is considered crude slang. So obviously I told nursery I didn’t know where he’d got that from as we don’t say it but I’d ensure he knows the word is toilet.
On Friday he spent the day with my parents and came home calling the toilet the bog again. I messaged my mum to ask if she knew where he was getting it from and she said she had been saying it to him as it was easier than toilet which he was struggling to say. I told her nursery wasn’t happy and I didn’t like it either so could she stop. She laughed and said I was being precious but agreed she would continue teaching “toilet”.

He was with my parents yesterday afternoon and whilst in the bath he pointed to the toilet and said “that’s a shithouse”. Now I know my father says this but I don’t believe he would tell DS to say this so I reckon my mum has told him that I was complaining about the bog word and my father has said something like “call it the shithouse then” as a joke and DS has overheard??

Anyway my aibu - I rely on my parents heavily for childcare which they insist on doing for free. Do I just let it go rather than causing a scene bringing it up again??

YABU - confront them about saying bad words in front of DS
YANBU - let it go, it’s not worth the fallout.

I had no idea anyone had any objection to the word toilet till yesterday. It's such a totally normal word. Just bizarre.

Your child will learn all sorts of inappropriate words so it is best, I think, to just let him know not to use those words at nursery. He will soon get the hang of it.

Exactly. He will learn that no word is inherently bad, but certain words tend to upset some people and therefore are better avoided, and other words are always available.

In and around Bristol it's often called 'the tye-lurt', sometimes with the emphasis on the second syllable.

@stuntbubbles

This is incredible. Sorry OP, know you’re stressed about it but it is funny.

DD always comes home from nursery saying “toilet” and I wince and passive aggressively say “Oh, you mean the loo?” because I’m terrible. “Bog” and “shithouse” would make me both cackle but also panic in case they stuck.

Mind you she’ll tell me if she doesn’t need a poo by saying “My bum is having a farty party” and somehow that doesn’t bother me.

Tell your parents not to say “shithouse” in front of small children. Tell your nursery “bog” is common but not actually a swear word. Tell your kid to use “loo”, go on, it’s miles better than “toilet” which makes me wince to even type. Encourage everyone you know to say “farty party” because it’s funny.

But.... It's a toilet? It's literally a toilet. I am going to the toilet... That's the correct way of saying it!

Wow this place.

That's the correct way of saying it!
You’re saying “wow this place” but also saying toilet is “correct”? Surely 10 pages in the point is clear that there is no “correct” and it’s all subjective. To me, loo is correct and toilet, lavatory, bog, lav, WC, restroom and bathroom are all aberrations. It’s a loo. It’s literally a loo. I’m going to the loo. That’s the correct way of saying it! You see?

But it’s really not that deep and I think you may have missed my tongue deeply in cheek, because it’s a post about preschoolers and loos on the internet, not anything to get either of our knickers in a twist about.

@stuntbubbles

That's the correct way of saying it! You’re saying “wow this place” but also saying toilet is “correct”? Surely 10 pages in the point is clear that there is no “correct” and it’s all subjective. To me, loo is correct and toilet, lavatory, bog, lav, WC, restroom and bathroom are all aberrations. It’s a loo. It’s literally a loo. I’m going to the loo. That’s the correct way of saying it! You see?

But it’s really not that deep and I think you may have missed my tongue deeply in cheek, because it’s a post about preschoolers and loos on the internet, not anything to get either of our knickers in a twist about.

I mean that the word it toilet. It is a toilet. If you're having a bathroom fitted you buy a toilet. If you didn't know English then bog or loo or shithouse might confuse you.

How many 3-year-olds do you know who plumb in loos? And OP’s OP read like English as a first language, so really not sure what point you’re making. I just had my bathroom done, incidentally, and chose a loo, and my plumber knew fine well what I meant. It’s not a novelty word!

@stuntbubbles

How many 3-year-olds do you know who plumb in loos? And OP’s OP read like English as a first language, so really not sure what point you’re making. I just had my bathroom done, incidentally, and chose a loo, and my plumber knew fine well what I meant. It’s not a novelty word!

Ok. Carry on. If you don't understand what I meant I can't be arsed to carry on trying to explain it to you.

In first place has to be toilet. Used as the official term in public places, and zero possibility of being misunderstood by any English speaker.
Close runner up, is loo. Again widely understood, but a little twee sounding. A word for people who also say 'boobs'.
Lav in third. Again, no risk of misunderstanding but I've only ever heard it said by elderly men.
Bog is fourth because I haven't heard it since school and imaginng a toddler saying it genuinely made me laugh out loud.
Anything remotely sweary in fifth, as would make the user sound like a teen boy.
Restroom/Bathroom/cloakroom in last place due to the potential for misunderstanding, and because euphemisms for everyday bodily finctions are imo unnecessarily coy.

Close runner up, is loo. Again widely understood, but a little twee sounding. A word for people who also say 'boobs'

Not bloody likely. I don't think I'm friends with anyone who would call breasts anything other than breasts (not that we talk about them on a regular basis). However, we would all regard "toilet" as being very decidedly non-U.

I hate the MN obsession with what's U and what's Non-U.

It's not 1955 and you're not members of the Mitford clan.

Are all the very odd people who can't stand the word toilet offended by seeing it written down or just spoken? Given that it is the standard word used on direction signs in cafés, street signs, theatres etc it must be a terribly nervewracking experience to go anywhere in case you see TOILET flash before you somewhere.

@LadyHofH

Close runner up, is loo. Again widely understood, but a little twee sounding. A word for people who also say 'boobs'

Not bloody likely. I don't think I'm friends with anyone who would call breasts anything other than breasts (not that we talk about them on a regular basis). However, we would all regard "toilet" as being very decidedly non-U.

I don't even know what non-u means?!

@DappledThings

Are all the very odd people who can't stand the word toilet offended by seeing it written down or just spoken? Given that it is the standard word used on direction signs in cafés, street signs, theatres etc it must be a terribly nervewracking experience to go anywhere in case you see TOILET flash before you somewhere.

This. But apparently I'm wrong.

@DappledThings

Are all the very odd people who can't stand the word toilet offended by seeing it written down or just spoken? Given that it is the standard word used on direction signs in cafés, street signs, theatres etc it must be a terribly nervewracking experience to go anywhere in case you see TOILET flash before you somewhere.

No - that's absolutely fine. "Toilet" is a neutral word used by the plumbers who fit them (who may well call them loos or bogs or shithouses in the privacy of their own homes). Everybody knows what it means.

That doesn't mean everyone should use it.

@AllThingsServeTheBeam I suppose it means "a bit common", really.

[quote LadyHofH]@AllThingsServeTheBeam I suppose it means "a bit common", really.[/quote]
You are a parody right? I can't tell anymore.

[quote LadyHofH]@AllThingsServeTheBeam I suppose it means "a bit common", really.[/quote]
What a strange place this is

Yeah I had to google non u. It’s an awful term! Probably the only truly awful term on this thread despite people trying to convince others that
Loo
Toilet
Bog
Boobs
Fart
…and other perfectly common words are awful.

Creasing at “just because plumbers say toilet doesn’t mean everyone should” 😂😂😂

@LadyHofH you are taking the piss aren't you?

My dad would do this. I'd find it hilarious.

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?

No, you're not! The OP will find her child will learn many words which are considered unacceptable as he gets older. The correct word for this place is supposed to be lavatory, like in the National Trust!

Restroom/Bathroom/cloakroom in last place due to the potential for misunderstanding, and because euphemisms for everyday bodily finctions are imo unnecessarily coy.

You omit 'comfort station' though even the home of the euphenism, USA, seems to have dropped that one these days.

The Americans are funny with their coy restrooms/bathroom and horror of referring to an actual toilet, because when you use one of their 'restrooms' there are huge big gaps either side of the door ensuring everyone can see you plonked on the toilet!

@Classica

The Americans are funny with their coy restrooms/bathroom and horror of referring to an actual toilet, because when you use one of their 'restrooms' there are huge big gaps either side of the door ensuring everyone can see you plonked on the toilet!

Yes they are:-).

They also use those terms when referring to pets, ie my dog went out to use the rest room.

I remember an American neighbour taking her kittens to vet in a big hold all thing; she said they 'went to the bathroom in the bag'.

Quite sweet in a way. An American friend said they have vulgar terms for the lavatory too though.

I have just been to the 'cloakroom' (not a cloak or even a peg in sight), to 'powder my nose'. Funny place to keep a nose and no powder!