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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

3 year old saying Bog

260 replies

Shurdle · 22/02/2022 07:23

Got pulled aside by nursery last week to say DS was calling the toilet “the bog”. I know in the UK some words are more acceptable than in other parts but where we are “bog” is considered crude slang. So obviously I told nursery I didn’t know where he’d got that from as we don’t say it but I’d ensure he knows the word is toilet.
On Friday he spent the day with my parents and came home calling the toilet the bog again. I messaged my mum to ask if she knew where he was getting it from and she said she had been saying it to him as it was easier than toilet which he was struggling to say. I told her nursery wasn’t happy and I didn’t like it either so could she stop. She laughed and said I was being precious but agreed she would continue teaching “toilet”.

He was with my parents yesterday afternoon and whilst in the bath he pointed to the toilet and said “that’s a shithouse”. Now I know my father says this but I don’t believe he would tell DS to say this so I reckon my mum has told him that I was complaining about the bog word and my father has said something like “call it the shithouse then” as a joke and DS has overheard??

Anyway my aibu - I rely on my parents heavily for childcare which they insist on doing for free. Do I just let it go rather than causing a scene bringing it up again??

YABU - confront them about saying bad words in front of DS
YANBU - let it go, it’s not worth the fallout.

OP posts:
TrashyPanda · 22/02/2022 10:32

@TulipsGarden

I would just say, please don't use those words, we say toilet. He'll get it eventually. I'd be horrified by shithouse, your dad needs to learn that small children parrot everything they hear. Bog is not ideal, it's a bit crude to me.

Our nursery say pop rather than fart. We still say fart at home though, he hasn't been told off for saying it. It had never occurred to me not to, quite honestly!

Omg!

Pop? Can you imagine the kids’ reactions when they sing “pop goes the weasel”?

OP - I’m with you and wouldn’t teach bog to a toddler. Loo is perfectly fine. Shithouse - repulsive to think any adult would find it amusing to teach a kid that. What a warped thing to do.

Migrainesbythedozen · 22/02/2022 10:33

Incidentally I do remember being quite drunk numerous times a couple of decades ago and busting to pee regularly due to all the wine or beer I was drinking, and saying, 'I need to go to the piss house', and 'damn I need to go to the piss house again!'.

ChargingBuck · 22/02/2022 10:37

I think you need to remember that the nursery staff are not your teachers, & that you are a customer, paying for a service.

If they raise this non-issue again, just laugh & say "oh he gets it from his grandad" & do not engage further.

It's ridiculous to get upset about the word 'bog'.

RedToothBrush · 22/02/2022 10:38

If you are worried about the word bog, then you have some fun times ahead of you.

ChargingBuck · 22/02/2022 10:39

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No.

Am I the only one cringing in horror at the word "toilet"?

Chouetted · 22/02/2022 10:39

[quote oakleaffy]@Shurdle
Your post made me laugh 😂!
“Bogs” are places I associate with schools and parks.. Definitely not a loo in a home.

Shithouse had me laughing out loud!
I wonder if your mum is doing it as she finds it 😆?

What next?
Lavatorium?
Crapper?

“The loo” is very safe.

A very rich but foul mouthed mother of a toddler next door used to refer to having a poo as “Having a Ka Kar
She’d screech this out, loudly to her DC
“ Do you want a KaKar?

I’d never heard the expression beforehand .

She Definitely upset the neighbours with her crass terms as dad called them.[/quote]
sounds like "caca", it's a totally normal French word for poo, and used with kids.

Daenerys77 · 22/02/2022 10:40

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No you are not, anything involving language and social embarrassment is potentially very amusing-but the idea that a 'bad word' is a good enough reason to turn down free childcare is not so much funny as downright bonkers.
Briony123 · 22/02/2022 10:41

Toilet is a horrid word. I'd prefer bog! We opted for loo, however.

Toddlerteaplease · 22/02/2022 10:46

I'd have laughed at nursery, I'm afraid. We always called toilets the bogs. It's not a swear word.

james83 · 22/02/2022 10:47

Bog an old word for me, not heard it since Scout Camp. Some used it at Boarding Schools, (Minor Public).

bellabasset · 22/02/2022 10:47

😅 The polite term is lavatory, aka lav or lavvie. But bog being impolite I've never heard of. Sorry this has made me smile. I'd certainly try to get your dps to stop using the term s#$those. Mind I'd have found it difficult not to laugh if ds had said that to me.

Thymeout · 22/02/2022 10:52

Toilet is Hyacinth Bucket. Non-U, according to Nancy Mitford.
U is lavatory.
Also, working class SELondon, but we shortened it to lav.

Thymeout · 22/02/2022 10:53

Bella - cross-post!

blackberriesaretheonlyfruit · 22/02/2022 10:54

I would imagine the shithouse came from "whats wrong with bog, not like I called it a shithouse" Grin.

Thewindwhispers · 22/02/2022 10:56

Tell them that nursery are telling him off for thenwords they are teaching him. Don’t ask them to change amor tell then off just say please be aware thet because of the way you speak to him, Ds is now using bad language at nursery and getting told off which makes him confused and sad.

WeAllHaveWings · 22/02/2022 10:58

Tell the nursery he is getting it from relatives outside the home and you cannot control that. You are correcting him when he says it at home and can they do the same.

Tell you parents you cannot control what they say to him in your absence and although they think it is hilarious to teach him inappropriate words like he is some sort of performing pet they are the direct cause of him being constantly corrected and confused and also ultimately punished and upset in nursery and school for inappropriate language.

Aug12 · 22/02/2022 11:14

I don’t see bog as a swear word but just tell him to say toilet instead, it’s not really a massive deal 🤷‍♀️ Really confused about the word fart though.. what do you guys call it? :s

Migrainesbythedozen · 22/02/2022 11:19

@Aug12

I don’t see bog as a swear word but just tell him to say toilet instead, it’s not really a massive deal 🤷‍♀️ Really confused about the word fart though.. what do you guys call it? :s
Really confused about the word fart though.. what do you guys call it?

Pass wind? At least that was what I was taught to say as a kid, but I never did, I always said fart, and still do lol.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 22/02/2022 11:26

@Shurdle

See, fart to me sounds like swearing!

You must have a very talented and adept bottom, mine don't sound like words at all! Grin

BogRollBOGOF · 22/02/2022 11:33

Nowt wrong with Bogs Grin

In reality I'd normally use toilet or loo interchangably and bogs occasionally for a less salubrious toilet block.

It's an unusual word choice for a toddler but not one to get upset over, just correctly model a better word.
Shithouse was a bit of a fail Grin

CustardySergeant · 22/02/2022 11:44

@Migrainesbythedozen

Everybody says shithouse, but what about pisshouse?
I've never said either. I've never said bog either.
Notanotherwindow · 22/02/2022 11:48

I'd just tell them that they need to stop because he's repeating it and it's getting him in trouble at nursery.

LittleGwyneth · 22/02/2022 11:51

@girlmom21 In the UK toilet is regarded as non-u and rather lower middle class / the kind of word used by someone trying to seem middle class. Loo is the upper middle's preferred term.

ChuckBerrysBoots · 22/02/2022 11:53

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
Oh thank god, thought it was just me!
PrinnyPree · 22/02/2022 12:00

@merrymelodies

Am I the only one to find this hilarious?
No I am genuinely pissing myself when I read what Granddad did. 😂

Sorry OP (it is a bit funny) but as someone else said just tell your parents he's getting told off at nursery for using those words so if they don't want to get him in trouble maybe don't teach him to say shithouse. Lol