7 week old staying away

[Wik944]

Is it okay to say no for my 7 week old baby to staying away an hour at his grandparents?

You are 22. You partner and baby's father doesn't live with you because it's not convenient from him. He plays no active part in parenting. He is pressurising you into something you don't want to do. Regardless of what it is - you don't want to - he doesn't get to keep at you about it.

Has he had any changes in is life to reflect he is now a father?
Is he financially supporting you or the child?
Is he or his parents a flight risk out of the country with the child?

At 21 before being pregnant this guy may have been a great bf - but what is he adding to your life now? Your life will have massively changed in the last year - has his?

I don't underestimate how hard it is to be a single mother, but ask yourself, without him, would your life be easier/better?

Realisticly he’s live didn’t change at all he’s still living with his parents going work and got his own free time from Monday to Friday the weekend he speaks with us but does the bare minimum around when he’s here but he says I’m out of order because I said I do not want to spend time with his mom nomo. He paid one month but if that gunna continue who knows. I honestly feel like I’m a single mother already even though I know I’ve got someone who’s meant to support me

Totally up to you. DC1 stayed over with grandparents at 6 weeks 🤷‍♀️

Your baby should be in the same room as you u til 6 months old at night to prevent risk of SIDS.

Their request is not reasonable or sensible.

Wise up and look after your own and your baby's interests or this will just get worse. If the grandparents want to be involved that's great, but on your terms. And dad can start paying some money.

@Wik944

Realisticly he’s live didn’t change at all he’s still living with his parents going work and got his own free time from Monday to Friday the weekend he speaks with us but does the bare minimum around when he’s here but he says I’m out of order because I said I do not want to spend time with his mom nomo. He paid one month but if that gunna continue who knows. I honestly feel like I’m a single mother already even though I know I’ve got someone who’s meant to support me

You ARE a single mother. He flits in n out like a boyfriend, not a partner or the child's father.

Time to start thinking like a single parent. Go to CMS for child maintenance and see a solicitor about formalizing access. Time to depend solely on yourself. If he wants to see the child he can stay elsewhere.

@Wik944

Realisticly he’s live didn’t change at all he’s still living with his parents going work and got his own free time from Monday to Friday the weekend he speaks with us but does the bare minimum around when he’s here but he says I’m out of order because I said I do not want to spend time with his mom nomo. He paid one month but if that gunna continue who knows. I honestly feel like I’m a single mother already even though I know I’ve got someone who’s meant to support me

You are a single mother, OP.

I would cut this guy loose and focus on giving your baby the best possible start in life.

Hell no!!!

Just tell them no - don’t even consider it regardless of how much they nag.

Babies that age need to be with their mother.

I honestly feel like I’m a single mother already even though I know I’ve got someone who’s meant to support me

Isn't this your answer?
He is supposed to be supporting you, but instead he is increasing your stress. I guess too that having him there at the weekend makes more work for you rather than less.

What are you getting from this relationship?

It's personal choice ofcourse, but i would never let anyone look after any of my young babies overnight and as you say you don't want his parents to have your baby overnight then you need to stick to saying NO. I don't think many parents would be comfortable with that, especially as they live an hour away so it's a 2 hour round trip and if anything happened you're an hour away from your baby. Stand firm and say no!!

It's pretty hypocritical that he's criticising you for failing to give his mum (cos she's family) more attention, when he can't give his child or his child's mother (who are family) the same time or respect he thinks you owe.
It's total double standards. One rule for his mum (important, should be listened to and her wishes abided by) and another for the woman on whom his tiny infant child depends (should dance to everyone's tune except her own or her babies, doesn't get support, not even with a few chores when he's around despite this being a very demanding vulnerable time with so much to take on and cope with).
His attitude is disgusting. He should be raising you up and helping you have every chance to succeed in carrying for you and your baby well so his baby can grow up happy and healthy. Not adding to your burdens and failing to value the vital mothering you are doing. That is just undermining you. At 7 weeks in many women are still feeling either physically from a hard birth or emotionally from the sheer scale of change and demands and need nurturing to come through that in his shape, not pressuring and acting like it's nothing.

Reeling not feeling!

And WHY are you still with this knob who won't help you in any way?????Tell him AND his parents to go fly a kite.

A big fat NOPE from me. There's absolutely no way I could have or would have wanted to leave my ds with anyone for any amount of time at that age and they're being VU to keep bothering you about it. Tell them NO, you don't want to. The end.

Have you thought about ending your relationship with him? He sounds useless as a partner and boyfriend. Living with him would be worse. He could invite his pushy parents over as much as he wanted. Dump him.

Whether you are in a proper relationship with this twit sounds debatable. However the fact that you do not live together and he doesn't contribute to baby's costs is enough to get things on a proper footing.

1. As posted above contact the Child Mainenance service. You are entitled to 12% of his weekly gross income to support your child. Make a claim today as they won't backdate it.

1. Look at setting up a contact schedule. You can look at sites like gingerbread to give you an idea - but for a 7week old baby father contact is supposed to be little and often - so would be potentially 1hr 3 times a week - but with your present initially. You'd be looking at 2/3yrs old before overnights would be suggested if you went to court so remember that (and that would be overnight with dad NOT with grandparents alone). I'd also be ware of setting something regular with grandparents incase they try to claim grandparent rights later on (unlikely in UK but legally possible).