7 week old staying away

[Wik944]

Is it okay to say no for my 7 week old baby to staying away an hour at his grandparents?

So staying overnight, an hour away from you, at 7 weeks old?

Its a nope from me.

You sound unsure. My nan used to say 'if in doubt, go without'.

What do you mean 'is it OK' ... you could be wanting a break and leaving the baby with loving grandparents over night to give you some rest ... or it could be DGPs pressuring you into leaving your baby with them?

What is the context of your question?

It’s my boyfriends parents they live an hour away and constantly nag me about my baby to stay there over night and I don’t know if I’m being over the top

Weird question tbh. If you want to do that, then do so but if you don’t, then don’t. Your baby, your choice.
Fwiw I haven’t felt like I want to leave my son yet and he’s 15 weeks. At the same time tho, it’s not really been suggested!

You can say no to anything, OP.

If you don't want your baby staying an hour away from you, you just say no.

For what it's worth, I am very relaxed about leaving my baby with other (trusted) people. I didn't leave him for any length of time at all until he was 6 weeks old, when I left him with my MIL for two hours total while I went to get a pedicure. I was 20 minutes away.

@Wik944

It’s my boyfriends parents they live an hour away and constantly nag me about my baby to stay there over night and I don’t know if I’m being over the top

Good lord, no.

Your baby is too young to be away from you overnight. They are being incredibly selfish and only thinking of themselves, not you or your baby.

I don’t want to leave the baby they keep asking to leave him overnight which I ain’t ready but feel like they think I’m being over the top my boyfriends mom tell me she raised 5 children and she can look after him but I don’t feel like anyone understands when I say no

If you're not comfortable with this, you're not unreasonable. No one is owed time with your baby, other than you and your partner. Sleepovers are entirely unnecessary for a newborn, unless you want/need that. Anyone pushing it when you are uncomfortable, is unreasonable.

I know it’s my choice and I’ve worded it wrong I don’t wanna give my baby away but they keep asking if I can leave him they live an hour away from me

Yes

You just jeed to stick to your guns. Is your partner unwilling to stand up to them on this?

Sorry I’ve worded it wrong they live an hour away and want him overnight

At first he had a go at me told me he’s gunna take me to court as we don’t live each other he only his son in the weekends as we live an hour away and he works but he don’t understand where I’m coming from

I didn't leave my baby on his own till he was a year old. That was my choice. 7 weeks? No way. It would have been really distressing for both me and my baby.

Your PIL might claim to know a lot about parenting but it's obvious they know nothing about supporting a daughter in law. Pressuring you to leave your baby is stressful and unacceptable. Please don't feel you have to. And they obviously don't know that much about babies if they want to separate such a young baby from its mother overnight, for no good reason other than they want to play happy families with the baby. Very selfish behaviour.

Your boyfriend needs to back you up and tell his parents to stop asking you this.

Absolutely not. You aren’t being unreasonable at all. Tell her it’s irrelevant than she is capable of looking after your baby - you don’t want her to as you want to be with your baby yourself.
It’s really wrong of them to push this. You might not be interested in having her stay away for years, that’s fine.

It really does not matter whether they think you’re being over the top or not, you’re not comfortable with it. 7 weeks is, in my opinion, way too little to be left elsewhere overnight. My baby is due next month and I won’t be having this nonsense from neither mine or my partners parents. Weird that they want him alone while he’s so little, I think they have a bit of a cheek to go on at you about it. Be firm and say he’s too little and he needs his mum.

This is the sort of thing where I found it helped to say "not just yet" rather than "no". And to tell the mother that you know he would be perfectly fine in her excellent care, but you're not ready to be apart from him yet.

And then keep saying that for the next 16 years if you want

It's personal choice my ds gp live an hour away they first baby sat around 16 w (just an evening) overnight was well over a year. If your not comfortable say not yet but you will let them know when u feel ready.

My il's lived about 10 mins from us and they didn't have any of my children overnight until they were about 5.

If you feel your baby is too young (and for what it's worth I think they are) then just say no. In fact, even better, get your boyfriend to say no and tell them to stop asking.

You are you baby's mother and you are absolutely valid to not want to be separated from your tiny baby.

If you don't feel comfortable with the idea, then the answer has to be No.

Explain to your MIL that you don't doubt she is a good mum and could cope perfectly well, but as a very new mum you aren't ready to be that far away from your baby.

You need to stand your ground on this one, so they understand you, as the person who has just given birth, make the decisions.

Yes it’s ok. I would do the same. My opinion would be different if we talked about a toddler. It’s often hard for a new mother to separate from her baby and I see no reason for it. Saying that, do grandparents also have a chance to meet your baby? Without you leaving the baby?

It you dont want to then no the baby stays with you

If anyone tried to take you to court for not leaving a 7 week old with someone else, they would be laughed out of court.

Tell your bf to stop trying to bully you. He is ridiculous.

It's got nothing to do with whether they can cope and EVERYTHING to do with how YOU feel. If you don't want to do it, then don't. And don't let anyone bully you by making you feel bad because they want to do something.