Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hacked off with my neighbour ‘stealing’ my cat!

249 replies

HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 14:51

Yes I know that cats are independent, will go where they want to go, have no loyalties etc

But a family local to me let my cat into their home every day. I can see him through their windows.

I understand how in warmer months this is difficult to avoid. But they are obviously letting him in.

I’ve spoken to them - at least 3 times - on the last occasion I specifically asked them (politely) to not open the door to him. My DC are upset as cat has basically buggered off and has to be lured into ours with food! The neighbours have said they’re not feeding him.

AIBU to feel pissed off about this and should I go round (again) to ask them to ignore my cat? Or am I being precious (and at least they’re kind to him)

OP posts:
Original poster
HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 16:01

I’ve already said I understand in warmer months it would be nigh on impossible to keep a cat out.

But it’s winter, it’s freezing. Not hard to keep a cat out.

OP posts:
Sidneysussex · 21/02/2022 16:01

You YANBU 100%.
My great aunt used to actively steal cats. She fed them things like smoked salmon and tunor to keep them coming back and then tell the real owners that the cat just liked the peace at her house.
Awful behaviour she was perfectly capable of adopting one from the rescue centre but no she liked to think cats chose her over other people.
Go get your cat and keep it indoors for a few weeks

FairyCakeWings · 21/02/2022 16:03

The neighbours are letting him in because your cat is there bugging them to let him in!

Why should they have to try to ignore a cat staring at them and scratching at their doors or windows when they’re quite happy to let the cat have what it wants?

You’re minimising what you’re actually asking them to do with the belief that they should just do what you want because you asked politely.

Cat proof your garden and solve your own problem instead of expecting your nice neighbours to do it for you.

Original poster
HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 16:04

@FairyCakeWings

The neighbours are letting him in because your cat is there bugging them to let him in!

Why should they have to try to ignore a cat staring at them and scratching at their doors or windows when they’re quite happy to let the cat have what it wants?

You’re minimising what you’re actually asking them to do with the belief that they should just do what you want because you asked politely.

Cat proof your garden and solve your own problem instead of expecting your nice neighbours to do it for you.

😂
OP posts:
Starburst8 · 21/02/2022 16:05

There's a cat that lives opposite me, He's always out in the rain and shine. I don't think anyone actively encourages him to their home, he just roams all over.
He's so naughty though - he tries to get into mine on all occasions. Whether I'm popping out to the bin or what not. I do try to keep him out as I don't have pets, this is hard when he can climb through the kitchen or landing window!! I must admit I was quite impressed he managed to climb that distance up the window Grin

Chely · 21/02/2022 16:07

That is how my SIL got a cat, it was a random that kept coming round and being let in. He became a permanent fixture until he died.

30mph · 21/02/2022 16:10

This is a good group for ideas about cat safety and cat proofing gardens:
www.facebook.com/groups/969511326500446

Duracellbunnywannabe · 21/02/2022 16:13

I had a cat do this to me. He kept turning up in my first floor flat. He would come in through the windows. He wasn’t microchipped and no one knew his owners. They saw him a couple of years later and tried to reclaim him but he wasn’t interested in them.

veevee04 · 21/02/2022 16:14

Cats do sometimes move out if they aren't happy. Mine is pretty much a house cat apart from wees and poos he doesn't like going outside especially in winter , he has had a leg amputation though.

muddyford · 21/02/2022 16:14

Some cats like company and if your house is empty all day, yes, he'll go elsewhere. Our old neighbours gained several cats this way.

Justanotherobserver · 21/02/2022 16:15

If you've got two cats and they don't really get on, you can't blame the wandering cat for going somewhere else. I knew someone with two cats that didn't get on and they were, in her words, 'trying to shit each other out of existence'. There was cat shit absolutely everywhere, inside and out, it was disgusting. In the end she had to re-home both of them as she couldn't cope with the amount of shit.

oakleaffy · 21/02/2022 16:17

@HugAHoodie
Our family had a cat called Jess who wasn’t ours-

Have you ever read the book “ Six Dinner Sid”?
Your cat sounds like SDS!

Cats are opportunistic- they will go where they like-

Our Vet receptionist had her OWN cat bought in to the practice by someone else for routine treatment!
So it’s very common.

Cats are no fools.

Porcupineintherough · 21/02/2022 16:18

Well, you know, you don't have to let him roam.

forlornlorna · 21/02/2022 16:19

I'd be livid op. Our neighbours cat tries to come into ours, we pick him up and put him back out. Simple!. The cat will soon get the message trust me. They are encouraging your cat by allowing him to stay.

We had a neighbour do this with our cat. We asked her not to but we'd see the treacherous little twerp sunning himself in her window. He then became poorly with stomach problems, lost a lot of weight and riffed his fur out around his mouth. We took him to the vets and they think he'd probably been being given milk. So we kept him in. He escaped a couple of times but he soon come home but he'd be sick again. Then during the summer I was popping out when I saw the neighbour with my cat in a carrier!!! He must of bust out that morning. She told me she was taking him the vets, I was obviously abusing him (coz of his weight and fur loss), and told me that if she gets to the vets and he's not chipped she's keeping him!!!. I tried to explain why he had been poorly, showed her the 350 quid flaming vets bill and she run off with him lol!!! 30 mins later our vet rings, they'd recognised him as the cat they were treating and took him off her. We popped down and picked him up.

We've cat proofed the garden now. It's worked a treat. He's healthy again and happy in the garden.

Neighbour has a new cat. Often wonder who that one belonged to!

Xmasbaby11 · 21/02/2022 16:20

ah no, I'd be secretly gutted about this. I love having my cat around even though she ignores us most of the time. Cat are not loyal and it wouldn't surprise me at all if my cat went to a quieter house to escape from the kids and noise here. It doesn't feel like they really belong to the owner in the same way that a dog does.

Really not sure what you can do other than mention it regularly. At least they aren't feeding her and she does come home regularly.

Abigail12345654321 · 21/02/2022 16:20

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

You can't control where you cat goes. If they are not feeding him/her, maybe the cat just prefers being at theirs?

I wouldn't turn an animal away in the cold and wind and rain.

Cats will pretend to be starving waifs to any idiot fool enough to fall for it. If they want to be warm and dry they can go home.

The person is undoubtedly feeding him.

Put a yellow foam collar on him and write ‘illness - special vet diet - do not feed’

They never seem to want to steal cats who are ill.

Ahhhhhbisto · 21/02/2022 16:22

Our windows are usually open year round. I have often had to remove cats from inside my house only to find they have come back in 10 minutes later. I really don't want them in here (DH and DS have allergies!) and yet they persist.
If you don't want your cat in the neighbours house, perhaps he should be an indoor cat.

Salome61 · 21/02/2022 16:24

My daughter is renting in NI and a neighbour's cat got in by mistake once, she eventually found out who it belonged to. She didn't feed it. Now the cat sits on her windowsill mewing piteously for HOURS. She's really upset about it and has to shut the curtains. She has spoken to the neighbour and apparently they have a cat this cat doesn't get on with too.

NowEvenBetter · 21/02/2022 16:26

There’s a range of options if you google it, on making your garden secure, so you’re not exposing your cat to the risk of being hit by a car, poisoned, stuck, picked up by animal abuser, used as bait, attacked by other animals, etc. I can’t believe so many people who have a cat choose to put them at risk of any of those things, and laugh about it.

LemonTT · 21/02/2022 16:26

My dad’s neighbours cat learnt how to open his back door and pop in anyway. My dad was old and the house was heated to thermonuclear levels, idea, old man and cat temperature. Plus my dad was always pottering in the garden and was good company for the cat. He was definitely not a cat kidnapper.

My brother is though and is berated by his neighbours for cat appropriation. But he also has a hedgehog and a fox on his feeding list.

sunshinesupermum · 21/02/2022 16:27

Cats go where they like. If they're not feeding him, they're not trying to steal him. It sounds like he prefers it there as he doesn't get on with your other cat rather than anything they are doing.

DoucheCanoe · 21/02/2022 16:27

We have a cat who hides under the car and dashes in or sits by the window door until they open and bolts in. They've been at it for months, no idea who it belongs to but I've seen it in various windows around the street!

We don't feed it but do let it sleep here during the day of it wants, I'm here any way and it comes downstairs when it wants out.

If the owners approached me I wouldn't let it in again but as it is no one seems bothered.

DillonPanthersTexas · 21/02/2022 16:27

And what if they want their doors or windows open for some fresh air, are they never allowed to do that?

When I moved into my house I often found the neighbours cat on the sofa, on the bed, generally chilling etc if I had left the windows open. A few blasts with a water pistol or with the hose when in the garden soon stopped the cat from coming anywhere near the place.

RedBonnet · 21/02/2022 16:29

@HugAHoodie

Thanks for all the messages.

I can accept that my cat is his own boss and I have no control. You’re right, he will always please himself and it’s nice that he can identify other spaces he is comfortable.

However, I still wish the neighbours would be a bit more discouraging. I know they’re letting him in - I’ve seen them do it AND they’ve told me they do it!

The cat goes in because they let it in. They can stop it. When you say 'please don't let my cat in' what is their reply?

I love cats but my oh is allergic to them so we always stop our neighbourhood cats from coming in. It's easy enough, and they stop trying after a few refusals.

As for your situation, as pp said, you'd have to keep it indoors for a few months to break the habit

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 21/02/2022 16:29

Tell them he regularly has worms/fleas from eating rodents...