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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Upset with piano teacher at school

124 replies

CarolinaStabril · 21/02/2022 14:46

Hi I’m just looking for other opinions please.
My daughter Yr 1 started piano lessons last term. We signed up for group tuition as this was cheaper but as of yet the teacher is unable to group her as no other children in her class have signed up.

She missed 3 lessons due to Covid and the teacher kindly offered to carry them over.

The piano teacher also teaches guitar and she messaged me saying that my daughter wanted to swap to guitar. I said thanks but I’d like her to stick to piano. Teacher then messaged back saying guitar would be better as she would be in a group with other children and she would be able to practise at home.
I replied no I want her to stick to piano. Teacher then became quite (in my opinion) blunt and basically said that her progress would therefore be very limited as she does not have a piano or keyboard to practise on at home. I then responded with well I’ll get her a piano then!
I just feel the teacher is trying to control my decision for my daughter to learn piano- not sure if I’ve misread the situation?

OP posts:

AnotherExpatKiwi · 21/02/2022 14:49

Your teacher is right. Why on earth did you sign your daughter up for lessons without an instrument to practise on?

rosesinmygarden · 21/02/2022 14:50

Why would you book lessons for a musical instrument she cannot practise outside of lessons? Or does she have access to one elsewhere to practise on? Lessons will be pointless if she cannot practise.

Toucan123 · 21/02/2022 14:50

The teacher is right though - if your daughter doesn't have a piano to practice on she'll really struggle to learn the piano. It's really hard for teachers when pupils come back week after week having not done any practice.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/02/2022 14:52

If your daughter doesn't want to play the piano she won't progress much anyway; why not listen to her instead of insisting on what you want?

modgepodge · 21/02/2022 14:52

I think it’s reasonable to expect that a child will have access to an instrument to practice on at home, I’m guessing most people would expect you to have this sorted before the lessons started so the fact you don’t have a piano maybe made her think you wouldn’t buy one (you can’t pick them up cheaply like other instruments) hence hee suggestion.

I’ve also never heard of group piano lessons before. Does each child have a piano (multiple pianos in a room?) or do they take turns? I can see how it works with flutes, violins etc but not pianos.

I agree your daughter should learn the instrument you/she wants, and the teacher can’t go changing that. Though if there’s no one for her to be grouped with and you want a group lesson I can see why that won’t work too!

MadgeRussell · 21/02/2022 14:52

I am surprised your daughter was allowed to learn the piano at all without one to practise on at home - the teacher is right, there's no point learning an instrument if you can't practise!

Original poster

CarolinaStabril · 21/02/2022 14:53

I just feel she is trying to switch instruments to make her own life easier rather than respect my wishes. I am in the process of getting a keyboard so practise can be done at home

OP posts:

vastgrandupgrade · 21/02/2022 14:53

The teacher isn’t trying to control you, she’s giving you very sensible, professional advice!

Original poster

CarolinaStabril · 21/02/2022 14:53

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

If your daughter doesn't want to play the piano she won't progress much anyway; why not listen to her instead of insisting on what you want?

She wants to do both

OP posts:

ManxRhyme · 21/02/2022 14:57

She started last term but you still haven't got an instrument at home for her to practise on. It was probably reasonable for the teacher to make that suggestion at this point after seeing no progress due to lack of practise.

Silverswirl · 21/02/2022 14:57

I’m a piano teacher.
A decent keyboard or piano is essential to practice at home.
If a pupil came to me and wanted to learn, after the first few lessons there really wouldn’t be much point in the parents spending the money or me and the child spending the effort to learn without a piano at home to practice.
Lessons give instructions on how to practice and hopefully some enthusiasm and confidence. Essentially That’s it. The bulk of the work is done at home.
She was being a bit blunt though. I would have to you that a keyboard or piano is essential for lessons and as long as you were getting one that would have been enough.

Original poster

CarolinaStabril · 21/02/2022 14:58

She’s also removed me from the guitar WhatsApp group where she posts the homework for parents (my daughter originally started on guitar which is why I was invited), I just feel it’s all a bit personal

OP posts:

Malbecfan · 21/02/2022 15:00

Sounds to me like the teacher is perfectly reasonable. How on earth is your DD going to progress if she doesn't have an instrument to practise on? I would have provided a piano or keyboard first for your DD to play around on before getting any lessons.

Piano is a really solitary instrument. My 2 both started on stringed instruments before they started school and played in groups from the beginning, something they still do now they are in their 20s. They both have some keyboard skills but preferred singing and their orchestral/band instruments to piano because of the ensemble options.

I am not a fan of group instrumental teaching. I have tried teaching whole class instrumental teaching in a primary school and whilst we had fun, the kids didn't make a lot of progress. You end up boring the quick ones and losing the slow ones unless you devise really good schemes of work. An individual lesson for 15 minutes is more valuable than a 30 minute group lesson in my experience, and I have been teaching various instruments privately or in school for over 30 years.

Billybagpuss · 21/02/2022 15:00

Piano teacher here.

You are expecting your dd to learn the piano and progress when you have nothing to practice on at home. Not even a crappy keyboard. You are wasting your money and the poor teacher is having to repeat the same few pages of her book every single week and your dd is invariably getting bored so you are killing any enthusiasm.

If you can afford to get her a piano, that will help, but year 1 is very young and I tend not to have any real progress and focus from them until mid year 2. As such I have recently stopped accepting school students below year 3. I will take private ones if they are mature enough and have support from parents.

She will need a minimum of full sized electric piano with touch sensitive keys or a proper piano. If you get a piano for her make sure she goes to it daily for at least 5 to 10 minutes. At this age that is enough but encourage her to make stuff up as well as play her set homework.

At the moment yabvu but I hope you’ve asked the question so you can genuinely make a difference.

CatherinedeBourgh · 21/02/2022 15:02

Why should you be on the whatsapp for a course your daughter isn’t on?

And as everyone said, pointless to teach piano without a piano at home!

rosesinmygarden · 21/02/2022 15:02

@CarolinaStabril

Are you paying for guitar lessons? If not, then of course you aren't going to be in the whatsapp group with the parents who are.

It sounds like you're paying group rate for piano and getting a 1:1 session. That's a bargain and probably the teacher is doing it for you at a loss... very annoying if the student isn't practising at home.

vastgrandupgrade · 21/02/2022 15:02

@CarolinaStabril

This is probably because you are not currently paying for guitar lessons surely?

Gowithme · 21/02/2022 15:03

A keyboard isn't a piano so unless it's full size and has weighted keys (basically an electric piano rather than a keyboard) it's not going to be ideal for practicing.

WindyState · 21/02/2022 15:03

So your daughter has told the teacher she would rather learn the guitar AND that she doesn't have a piano to practice on, and you are surprised the teacher suggested she switch.

BTW, a keyboard is not the same thing as piano. You can't learn to play piano properly on a keyboard.

TheRealityCheque · 21/02/2022 15:03

@CarolinaStabril

Fuck my boots.

You've said "no" to her request that your dd switch to guitar, then complain that she's removed you from the guitar group.

You sound very like you're very hard work and entitled.

MangshorJhol · 21/02/2022 15:03

I say this as a parent of kids who all learn instruments- if she’s gone a term without an instrument she would have made zero progress. Maybe this is why the teacher thinks group lessons on an instrument that she might have access to (will she??) might be better?
Between my kids we have 6 different teachers for 4 instruments and having regular practice is a bare minimum pre-requisite!

WindyState · 21/02/2022 15:03

@CarolinaStabril

Are you paying for guitar lessons?

Pheasantplucker2 · 21/02/2022 15:04

I'm a piano teacher too and it's the first question I ask when someone enquires about lessons. I don't take anyone on unless they have access to an instrument. Happy for it to be a keyboard in initial stages.

Do you think she's saying no to the group rate because your daughter will benefit from a private lesson because no-one else is interested?

If so, I would question this. I don't personally offer group lessons but if it was available they should either say this is conditional on having a minimum of x people signed up or suck it up.

However, most peri music teachers are far too busy to take things personally. She's probably removed you from the guitar whatsapp group because you said you didn't want her to do guitar.

What does your daughter want to do? That's the best starting point. Then buy or hire the relevant instrument and find a teacher she's happy with.

I always offer a trial lesson to ensure that we work well together - there's no point in teaching someone if they don't like you or are nervous of you. Equally, I often say no if I get the very strong impression that they will not practise in between lessons.

If the trust has soured it's time to move on for both of you.

MangshorJhol · 21/02/2022 15:06

So she wants to learn guitar. She told the teacher that. She has no opportunity to practice piano. You were on the guitar group because she was learning guitar and now you are not because she isn’t.

Then given her lack of progress and lack of instrument and her own interest in the guitar the teacher has asked that she switch?

Is that correct? Unless there is a huge drip feed I don’t see what the teacher has done wrong.

LittleMG · 21/02/2022 15:07

Hello, I am a music teacher and honestly it’s not personal. The kid needs an instrument to play at home or you will see no progress and wastes your money. It doesn’t make any difference if the woman is teaching both so she’s just trying to suit your child up right.

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