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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Upset with piano teacher at school

124 replies

CarolinaStabril · 21/02/2022 14:46

Hi I’m just looking for other opinions please.
My daughter Yr 1 started piano lessons last term. We signed up for group tuition as this was cheaper but as of yet the teacher is unable to group her as no other children in her class have signed up.

She missed 3 lessons due to Covid and the teacher kindly offered to carry them over.

The piano teacher also teaches guitar and she messaged me saying that my daughter wanted to swap to guitar. I said thanks but I’d like her to stick to piano. Teacher then messaged back saying guitar would be better as she would be in a group with other children and she would be able to practise at home.
I replied no I want her to stick to piano. Teacher then became quite (in my opinion) blunt and basically said that her progress would therefore be very limited as she does not have a piano or keyboard to practise on at home. I then responded with well I’ll get her a piano then!
I just feel the teacher is trying to control my decision for my daughter to learn piano- not sure if I’ve misread the situation?

OP posts:

bg21 · 21/02/2022 18:31

sounds like your daughter is too afraid to ask you to switch so has spoken to her teacher instead

KaptainKaveman · 21/02/2022 18:55

Haha the irony .

Nimello · 21/02/2022 19:07

Why do you want your DD to learn the piano when you don't have a piano? Do you play yourself? (Presumably not, or else you'd have one).

One of my DC is a pianist and started in Year 1, but I play myself and I taught them for a while before finding a suitable teacher (well, I say 'taught', but it was more musical games, pitch, rhythm etc). Lessons with a teacher were a natural progression. But I wouldn't have just plucked the piano out of the blue because of some notion that "all children need to play the piano" (my others don't, btw). I suspect the teacher is being quite reasonable.

budgiegirl · 21/02/2022 19:24

I just feel it should be my decision (and my daughters) what instrument I sign up for, not the teacher trying to talk me out of my decision

Of course it should, but the teacher is just trying to give you her professional opinion, which sounds like it is valid, if your DD has started piano lessons without having access to a piano,

My mum was a piano teacher for many years, both in school and privately at home. She wouldn't allow a child to start lessons without having access to a piano (or decent keyboard with weighted keys), because if a child can't practice, it's a waste of everyones time.

OP, it sounds to me that the teacher is just trying to suggest to you what might be best for your dd, I'm not sure why you are taking it so personally

OfstedOffred · 21/02/2022 19:27

year 1 is very young and I tend not to have any real progress and focus from them until mid year 2.

Eh? This is a load of rubbish, my nieces and nephews have all started aged 5 and made rapid progress in the first year. I started aged 5 at the beginning of reception and my parents said I got going quickly.

ladygindiva · 21/02/2022 21:02

Mozart played every day. For hours. There was no television, or other hobbies in his life I suspect. Childhood was VERY different in the 1760s, and Mozart and his peers had very lives. Your comment, whilst intending to be very clever, is quite the opposite.

ladygindiva · 21/02/2022 21:03

@ladygindiva

Quote function failed, but I think the smart Alec commenter probably knows who they are 🤣

ladygindiva · 21/02/2022 21:04

Year 2 for a mature child who is a confident reader. Later if not. And an instrument at home is vital.

ladygindiva · 21/02/2022 21:06

@ladygindiva

Year 2 for a mature child who is a confident reader. Later if not. And an instrument at home is vital.

Again quote function failed, that's in answer to an enquiry. And again it's just from my personal experience. Not for a minute stating no 5 year old ever learnt successfully.

VodselForDinner · 21/02/2022 21:09

You’re completely setting your daughter up for failure.

Don’t be mad at the teacher for giving you good advice, be mad at yourself for ignoring it.

TatianaBis · 21/02/2022 21:11

Everyone is right, teacher is just trying to ensure you don't waste your money OP.

billy1966 · 21/02/2022 21:16

I am stunned that you would waste this womans time by not having an instrument in place for your child to practice on.

Piano is not a group activity.
Lessons are one on one.

She is perfectly entitled not to allow her time to be wasted by students without an instrument.

TatianaBis · 21/02/2022 21:16

@Thenosleepclub

Piano teacher here. Yr 1 is young, and although I do teach this age in a 30min lesson it's barely 10/15.mins of piano, and the rest general musicianship and hearing about how much they like fairies/unicorns/rainbows/dinosaurs/Lego.

It sounds like your daughter prefers guitar. There is also no point starting piano lessons until you have one to practise on. A basic £20 keyboard is totally fine. Any musical instrument needs regular practice, just 5 mins a day, without parental support and an instrument progress is minimal at any age.

Nonsense.

I started violin and piano when I was 4. Fairies and unicorns were not up for discussion.

Also, no-one can progress on 5 mins a day even when you're very little.

hedgehogger1 · 21/02/2022 21:39

Are you wanting her to learn piano or keyboard? If it's piano then get an electric piano with 88 weighted keys, a keyboard isn't the same

LaChanticleer · 21/02/2022 22:09

YABU. The teacher is an expert - why aren’t you respecting that?

billy1966 · 21/02/2022 22:22

I have 4 children that have learnt the piano and am 16 years doing driving them to piano lessons.

They have gone through the grading and my youngest is working on grade 7 at the moment.

They all started with 20 minutes lessons and practiced twice a day for 4/5 minutes absolute max at day.

They all started piano aged 6.

Little but often is key at the beginning.
Mine have had excellent teachers over the years and practiced 6 out of 7 days a week.

Reminding them was always necessary and exhausting.

It has been a big commitment as a parent to take on.

Thenosleepclub · 22/02/2022 06:53

@TatianaBis

What's nonsense? Yr 1 is young. I didn't say TOO young, I started at 5. but its unusual for a child to concentrate enough at that age, whereas almost every child could learn at yr 3.

Progress can be made with 5mins practice a day. I see it. Obviously more practice is better but I ask them to start small. Little and often is always better than a rush to practice under duress the day before a lesson.

Billybagpuss · 22/02/2022 07:17

@OfstedOffred

year 1 is very young and I tend not to have any real progress and focus from them until mid year 2.

Good for you, I’ve been teaching for 20 years and have had very very few 5 year olds through the school peri route who have been able to focus and really progress in that first year. Privately I have more but the parents of my private students tend to be more motivated to help their dc. Whilst I accept there are exceptions to my original post they are few and far between and if they don’t have access to an instrument in the meantime they are definitely not an exception.

babyjellyfish · 22/02/2022 07:29

Music lessons are important and should take place both in and out of the school day

Important enough to justify your daughter missing other lessons but not important enough for you to get her a proper instrument to practise on at home?

Without a piano (not a keyboard) at home for her to practise on the whole thing is a complete waste of time and money.

Jovanka · 22/02/2022 07:49

I have had 5-year-old piano pupils and it was that experience which has led me to have a blanket rule now of not teaching piano to children under 7.

I am not saying that all children of that age are too young for lessons. But the children I taught certainly were. They were not able to reliably hold down a note and count to four at the same time and their letter recognition was not solid so trying to talk to them about letter names for notes didn’t work. Their parents had no musical training of their own and had wildly unrealistic expectations of what their child would be able to play after just a few lessons. Of course there are plenty of techniques for teaching piano to younger children. But that just wasn’t me so I now only teach children aged 7+.

If your child does not have a means of practising their instrument in between lessons then for both pupil and teacher, every lesson will be like a groundhog day of going over the same material every time. In short, a miserable and frustrating experience for both child and teacher.

Chestofdraws · 22/02/2022 07:53

Op you’ve already decided it’s personal and you’re right, so why ask?

The teacher isn’t wrong, your kids asked to do guitar instead, doesn’t currently have an instrument to practice on, it doesn’t take ages to source one, and has already missed lessens.

The teacher was right.

MerryMarigold · 22/02/2022 07:57

OP, sometimes I feel like I can be hard work. Then I read posts like this and feel reassured that I'm completely laid back!

I think what with your attitude to the teacher, she probably doesn't want to teach your kid and it seems like you don't want her to teach your kid. Is there any point in pursuing this?

DenholmElliot · 22/02/2022 08:00

There was a very similar thread on here a few months ago saying exactly the same thing "I'm in the process of buying a keyboard" - what does "in the process of" mean? Either you've brought one or you haven't?

ANameChangeAgain · 22/02/2022 08:02

I also think music in schools is really important. Lessons in ks1 mean that children can join local music clubs in ks2.
Is the problem because a group lesson is no longer available and the only option to continue with piano is to pay for a private lesson? If this is the case then this is how it should be represented by school, as its unreasonable to expect a teacher to be paid say £5 for a single private 30 minute lesson, rather than 4 x £5 for a group music lesson.

NoSquirrels · 22/02/2022 08:14

I don’t think the teacher has done anything wrong and I will have a keyboard by next week for her to practise on. I just feel it should be my decision (and my daughters) what instrument I sign up for, not the teacher trying to talk me out of my decision

If you don’t think she’s done anything wrong what are you bothered about?
From her POV:
Child starts out learning guitar, then switches to piano.
No piano or keyboard at home for practise. Misses 3 lessons in a row.
Child expresses wish to do guitar again in group.
Tells parent who says must stick to piano. Point out lack of instrument for practise and that child would do well in group guitar.
Parent says no, piano and buying instruments.
Accept decision, remove parent from guitar WhatsApp.

I agree with others that if you’re not careful to keep enthusiasm she’ll not enjoy either piano or guitar.

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