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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upset with piano teacher at school

124 replies

CarolinaStabril · 21/02/2022 14:46

Hi I’m just looking for other opinions please.
My daughter Yr 1 started piano lessons last term. We signed up for group tuition as this was cheaper but as of yet the teacher is unable to group her as no other children in her class have signed up.

She missed 3 lessons due to Covid and the teacher kindly offered to carry them over.

The piano teacher also teaches guitar and she messaged me saying that my daughter wanted to swap to guitar. I said thanks but I’d like her to stick to piano. Teacher then messaged back saying guitar would be better as she would be in a group with other children and she would be able to practise at home.
I replied no I want her to stick to piano. Teacher then became quite (in my opinion) blunt and basically said that her progress would therefore be very limited as she does not have a piano or keyboard to practise on at home. I then responded with well I’ll get her a piano then!
I just feel the teacher is trying to control my decision for my daughter to learn piano- not sure if I’ve misread the situation?

OP posts:
Violetmo0n · 21/02/2022 15:38

@CarolinaStabril

She’s also removed me from the guitar WhatsApp group where she posts the homework for parents (my daughter originally started on guitar which is why I was invited), I just feel it’s all a bit personal
You said no to guitar so why would you need to be in the group?
Littlefish · 21/02/2022 15:42

I'm surprised that they even offer piano lessons to year 1 children.

I've worked in 4 different schools, and piano was only ever offered from year 3 upwards.

Also, let your child choose the instrument they want to play, if they have a preference.

My daughter wanted to play the piano, so she had piano lessons.

Same with singing.

When a 3rd instrument was suggested, I played her recordings of different instruments (violin, cello, flute, trumpet, sax etc) and talked to her about which one she preferred.

There is absolutely no point making a child learn an instrument they are not interested in.

Please listen to the piano teacher. They know what they're doing!

Meadowbreeze · 21/02/2022 15:42

You sound like hard work. A keyboard will be about as useful as a recorder for learning the piano. Normally the lesson is just shorter when there are no other kids to join the group so no, they're probably not annoyed about that.
Instrument teachers are normally very very flexible and passionate about passing on their skill. It sounds like you've not come across a mean piano teacher. Get them into ballet, you'll soon love the piano teacher.

Meadowbreeze · 21/02/2022 15:45

@donquixotedelamancha
Ding ding ding. Can't imagine how frustrating this is for teachers.

ladygindiva · 21/02/2022 15:46

I'm a piano teacher and I wouldnt teach a child in year 1 to start with, as it's very young. I certainly wouldn't teach a child who didn't have access to a piano or decent keyboard with correct size weighted keys either. Although if this wasn't pointed out at the start I can see why you're annoyed.

AgeingDoc · 21/02/2022 16:01

As someone who got to Grade 8 and has a music degree I will go against the grain here. I had piano lessons and did exams for several years before I had a piano at home. Dh (who ended up at a conservatoire spent ages saving up for a piano too before he had one at home. However we were both allowed to practice at school.
With respect comefromaway that must be pretty unusual. And given what you went on to do, do you not think that both you and your DH might have had considerably more natural talent and motivation than average?
The OP's child is in year 1, so 5 or 6 years old. Where in the school day is the practice time going to come from? She'll already be missing some standard lessons for the music already I would imagine, but I doubt her teacher would be happy to let her out of lessons on a daily basis to practice so when? Lunchtime? Playtime? And who is going to supervise her? My DS and some of his his friends are allowed to use the school music rooms unsupervised at lunchtimes but they are sixteen, not six, are actively choosing to practice and can be trusted to get on with it and not mess around. I doubt that would apply to the average year 1 pupil who would probably view being kept in at playtime to practice as a punishment.
I agree that the teacher shouldn't be trying to force the child to do another instrument if it is something she isn't interested in (though actually it sounds like she might be) but I do think the school would be well within their rights to withdraw the offer of piano lessons. If it's supposed to be a group lesson and there isn't sufficient interest then I don't think they are obliged to continue to offer it. I have seen this happen both with private providers and in school for both extracurricular activities and indeed actual exam courses. Maybe the teacher is just trying to offer an alternative because she knows piano won't continue to be offered?

Duracellbunnywannabe · 21/02/2022 16:26

@ladygindiva

I'm a piano teacher and I wouldnt teach a child in year 1 to start with, as it's very young. I certainly wouldn't teach a child who didn't have access to a piano or decent keyboard with correct size weighted keys either. Although if this wasn't pointed out at the start I can see why you're annoyed.
Out of interest, at what age would you start teaching piano? My DD has expressed an interest.
TheRealityCheque · 21/02/2022 16:31

I don't know why some people bother asking if they are unreasonable when they then ignore (or double down) to the 9 out of 10 posters who say "yes", then reply "that's what I thought" or similar to the one person that agrees with them.

Your be better with Facebook or Twitter if you're after an echo chamber.

Oh and private music lessons during other lesson time at school are not important. Should be out of school

Zwellers · 21/02/2022 16:49

You sound both rude and like you are trying to force your daughter to learn piano when she doesn't want to, whilst putting other important lessons in jeopardy. Music lessons are a nice to have if the child wants to have them. Plus no piano to actually play on- seriously.

Seafog · 21/02/2022 16:57

I'd speak to your DD and make sure she really does prefer the piano, before buying a keyboard

maddy68 · 21/02/2022 17:00

The piano teacher has done absolutely the right thing fir your child they can't progress unless able to practice

ChildrenGrowingUpTooFast · 21/02/2022 17:01

I can’t believe you have no piano at home. There is no point having lessons at all. My children do piano and ukulele at school. Both group lessons with the county music service. You are expected to have the instrument sorted before first lesson. They are expected to do 10-15min practice a day.

Original poster
CarolinaStabril · 21/02/2022 17:07

@TheRealityCheque

I don't know why some people bother asking if they are unreasonable when they then ignore (or double down) to the 9 out of 10 posters who say "yes", then reply "that's what I thought" or similar to the one person that agrees with them.

Your be better with Facebook or Twitter if you're after an echo chamber.

Oh and private music lessons during other lesson time at school are not important. Should be out of school

So rude
OP posts:
luckylavender · 21/02/2022 17:11

You are clearly being unreasonable based on the information you have given us. Teachers can't do right for doing wrong.

JazzHandsYeah · 21/02/2022 17:23

It is literally like throwing money away paying for piano lessons but not having an instrument at home to practise on. No wonder the piano teacher’s frustrated. YABU.

Thenosleepclub · 21/02/2022 17:29

Piano teacher here. Yr 1 is young, and although I do teach this age in a 30min lesson it's barely 10/15.mins of piano, and the rest general musicianship and hearing about how much they like fairies/unicorns/rainbows/dinosaurs/Lego.

It sounds like your daughter prefers guitar. There is also no point starting piano lessons until you have one to practise on. A basic £20 keyboard is totally fine. Any musical instrument needs regular practice, just 5 mins a day, without parental support and an instrument progress is minimal at any age.

Bullandbush · 21/02/2022 17:41

@ladygindiva

I'm a piano teacher and I wouldnt teach a child in year 1 to start with, as it's very young. I certainly wouldn't teach a child who didn't have access to a piano or decent keyboard with correct size weighted keys either. Although if this wasn't pointed out at the start I can see why you're annoyed.
I think Mozart may have disagreed.
WonderfulYou · 21/02/2022 17:50

Have you posted about this before?

Your DD is better at guitar than piano so I personally would take that advice and have my DD do something she’s good at.

Littlefish · 21/02/2022 17:51

@CarolinaStabril, @TheRealityCheque was not being rude. She was simply pointing out that the vast majority of people on this thread do not agree with you, and yet, you are still convinced you are right.

You asked for opinions. We gave them. You are in the wrong.

Several music teachers have given their opinion. You are still in the wrong.

The polite way of dealing with this would be for you to thank everyone for taking time to respond to you.

TeaScoop · 21/02/2022 17:58

She made a valid point, you didn't have a piano/keyboard, it would be hard for her to progress without it, you've now told her you're getting one.
She is not in the guitar group so don't need to be in the guitar chat group.
No drama needed.

caranations · 21/02/2022 18:03

This sounds to me like it is purely for the teacher's convenience, not your dd's musical progress.

affairsofdragons · 21/02/2022 18:05

@CarolinaStabril

I just feel she is trying to switch instruments to make her own life easier rather than respect my wishes. I am in the process of getting a keyboard so practise can be done at home
It's not that hard and she didn't just start lessons.

I completely understand the teacher's concerns.

Missey85 · 21/02/2022 18:18

YABU your daughter said she wants to do guitar but your plan is to force her to play piano? Great parenting their how to make your kid hate you

Museumland · 21/02/2022 18:22

I think the teacher is really trying to act in the best interests of your child.

AnotherExpatKiwi · 21/02/2022 18:24

@caranations

This sounds to me like it is purely for the teacher's convenience, not your dd's musical progress.
Lol. Child won’t make any progress without an instrument on which to practise! And given the choice between teaching a child who can practise and wants to play that instrument, and one who doesn’t have a piano and wants to learn guitar…. I’m all team teacher