To have COMPLETELY lost my work mojo?

[backintothefire]

I don't know what to do! I have completely lost all motivation for work these days and am really struggling to complete even the most basic tasks. I feel hugely resentful about work and dread Monday every week. Nothing about my work interests me or inspires me any more.

I used to love my job! But now every day is a slog and I hate it. I changed jobs a few months ago thinking it might re-invigorate me - NOPE! In fact now I feel even worse because it's clearly me that's the problem, not the job itself.

I honestly feel like I can't keep doing this. I've got 20+ years until retirement ffs. Anyone else feel the same? What's the solution?!

I can relate to all this, but am mid-50s rather than 40s. I've just changed jobs and taken a step down - fortunately the salary is pretty much the same as the role I've moved to is very much in demand, but it's still a full-time role. I don't think either COVID or menopause has helped - started HRT 6 months ago- but it's just the feeling that I'm on a hamster wheel to pay bills and a mortgage and fund dc through uni. I thought I'd be able to relax and be enjoying life more at 55: never occurred to me 30 years ago that I'd be working this hard at this stage of life and finding it all so unfulfilling, but not having the energy or motivation to do anything about it. Suspect it's an element of burnout as well after the past 2 years- work reached crazy levels hence the change of job: trying to exercise regularly and eat healthily but can't be arsed to cook most of the time - just want to sit on sofa and watch reruns of Friends and drink G&Ts. The me of 30 years ago wouldn't recognise me now.

Op I feel the same. Also work in a supportive role and an really starting to resent the emotional labour it demands and the fact that people think they are entitled to my time as and when they demand it. On paper my job is perfect for me but when I’m at work I just want to hide and I can feel my mind wandering. I have. I have zero motivation or drive and I just feel so stuck.
I can’t afford to leave or retrain
Everyday I pray there’s a power cut and I can go home

the fact that people think they are entitled to my time as and when they demand it

Oh yes, this absolutely. My job is basically full of people whining at me and wanting me to fix their issues. It is such a drain on my personal reserves of empathy and compassion, and mainly now I just feel pissed off with anyone who crosses my path with their problems. I used to win awards for my ability to help these people, ffs!

This thread has been really helpful though, not only to realise I'm not alone but also to give me a kick up the arse to do something about it. I've thought a lot about it over the last 24 hours. I've started small, by re-arranging my office - a new perspective! But today I'm going to take some time to write a proper plan for my escape. I actually already have a whole A4 notebook devoted to 'getting out' but I've not used it for a while. I'm going to look up the links on this thread and give myself a good talking to. I know I need to make a change before it's too late, and not feel selfish about it.

People who do a job which is supposed to be inspirational or fulfilling in some way get a raw deal. You still have to put up with the mundane, the tedious bureaucracy and the job politics but somehow its meant to be worth it to be "making a difference".

Meant to say, this rings so true with me as well. I feel guilty because my job is part of something that I know is really incredibly important. Like, why don't I feel fulfilled knowing that the work I do has a tangible effect (eventually)? Why do I just want to walk away from it all and never ever look back? What must be wrong with me?

I feel exactly the same as all of you - 43, perimenopause, "good" (ha!) job that just piles on higher and higher expectations while my pay stagnates and bosses get richer; kids are in early teens, son suffering horribly with anxiety and also generally being a bit of a dick at school so I feel simultaneously angry and worried for him; time of year doesn't help - evenings still dark so it's work / sleep / repeat.

Husband and I are just trying to overlay the mortgage ASAP so we can slow down soon - fortunately we're frugal people so once that's paid off, I'm going to work in a shop! I've had enough!

The thing that actually does help me is doing the stuff that seems hard when I start - regular exercise, eating well, no booze, daily meditation and yoga (it only takes 20 mins), going outside in daylight etc etc. Didn't feel well last week snd have sunk out of good habits - need to kick self up arse again

I actually already have a whole A4 notebook devoted to 'getting out'

back, you've made me realize that I want a notebook like this. In fact, I have a nice new unused notebook all ready to go. Not just career ideas, but all sorts of ideas for the future. I suddenly feel all fired up!

Get your bloods done if you haven’t already to check for iron deficiency among other things.

1 in 5 women are iron deficient in the UK and it’s higher in middle age. Ideally ferritin should be above 50.

It can make you feel lethargic and foggy of mind. Worth ruling out alongside menopause.

You can download NHS app and check previous blood results. Dr will usually only tell you when iron dips to anemic level, but you can experience symptoms under 100/50.

@Turningacornernow

Get your bloods done if you haven’t already to check for iron deficiency among other things.

1 in 5 women are iron deficient in the UK and it’s higher in middle age. Ideally ferritin should be above 50.

It can make you feel lethargic and foggy of mind. Worth ruling out alongside menopause.

You can download NHS app and check previous blood results. Dr will usually only tell you when iron dips to anemic level, but you can experience symptoms under 100/50.

@Turningacornernow - interesting re iron deficiency.

I take iron tablets because of underactive thyroid but not that checked and it was ok last time.

Doctors are useless even when I press them re thyroid and I was given HRT patches (which I don't want, have got supplements for menopause).

Hate getting bloods done but think will do this.

@Gonnagetgoing yeah iron deficiency is so common, lots of women are wandering around undiagnosed because GPs don’t connect the dots.

My symptoms were...

Headaches
Dizziness
Memory loss and disengagement/ low motivation at work, low mood
Tingling and pins and needles
Restless legs and pain in legs (very heavy feet/ legs in morning)
Breathlessness when doing light exercise
Hair thinning

My ferritin was between 11 and 30 and I was diagnosed by specialist

90% of work is total bollocks. I spent an entire week a couple of months ago copying and pasting information from a PDF to a Word document for some beef-for-brains client who preferred that format. Just let me die, tbqh.
This should be listed on those things they didn't tell you at school lists!!
It's so flipping true, half my job is putting things into powerpoint or onto emails for people who can't read the reports they've already been issued with. Or pasting numbers from one spreadsheet into another.

@backintothefire

I've found my people.

I'm early forties and it dawned on me during lockdown no 1 and 2 that I've got a long way to retirement yet and the thought of doing the same job for another 20 plus years filled me with dread.

No flexibility,a twat of a selfish boss,who gets to swan off for months at a time while I hold the fort for less pay than my 20 something year old dc

I'm the highest earner here by far yet my earnings don't show it.

I realised I can't stay in this part of my profession for much longer as I can't go any further than I am now so have decided to train in newer things that I will do on a self employed basis eventually having my own premises.

The pros for me far outweigh the cons.

Having a poorly parent this last year has also taught me I don't spend enough time with them and now my dc are growing up im missing out on things with them I could do if working for myself and being flexible.

Is this something you could possibly do?

YANBU - I’ve been through exactly the same this year. A serious health issue meant that I had to take time off work for 6 months which gave me time to rest deeply, put things in perspective, focus on my health and mental wellbeing and then finally start thinking about how to work differently. A book I found useful is Working Wild - by JP and Sara Turnbull. I haven’t got all the answers but what has helped me was negotiating a career break for 6 months - I did highly paid interim work temporarily on a part time basis which allowed me to get the rest and recuperation I needed. I have gone back to my substantive post and nothing has changed. But what feels different for me is a knowledge that I have an exit strategy in place and will change my situation this year. I’ve also done a lot of work on my finances and getting real about what I need to do to earn or save more or reduce expenditure . Ive committed to get fit this year so taking exercise seriously and trying very hard to focus on the stuff that gives me quality of life rather than being a beancounter. Peri menopause is a contributing factor but the symptoms are a result of feeling stuck rather than a cause..

I’ve never LOVED my job, it fit in well with school hours when I started, however kids are older, only 1 at primary still and since lockdown and working from home I completely hate it.

So I’m looking for anything else atm, there is an industry I’d LOVE to be in, and did a course during lockdown and gained a certificate as I have no hands on experience for it. Had an interview in Jan to get into it, and got rejected so feeling v deflated and am now just looking at part time office jobs just to get out the one I’m doing now (job atm is very customer service centered and I’ve lost all enthusiasm for it) I think I’ve got burn out tbh a lot of people in my job get it.

I would love to hear more about your next steps OP.

I had an escape plan and escaped last year. I've still not quite figured out what my new life looks like, but I'm determined to have fun along the way.

(I don't suppose you're up North are you?).

I'm not up north @Febrier, sorry! But would love to hear more about how you escaped

@desperatehousewife21 what's the industry? Maybe someone on here can give you some extra tips to break through?

It's a shame we're not nearby, I love your energy in this thread.

But would love to hear more about how you escaped

I got really focused on my escape plan and I decided what criteria I needed in order to walk away from the job (for me, this was mortgage paid off and x amount of savings).
I'd also really hoped to have the next job lined up, or at least working towards a new career, but in the end my happiness was suffering so much that I leapt without a clear next step.

Oh, what a nice thing to say, thank you!

Leaving your job without a clear next step must have been terrifying, but I guess sometimes you just have to leap, as you say. I wish you loads of luck with it all!

I had a long chat with DH last night and he has been very supportive and encouraged me to pursue a couple of things that I've had on the back-burner for a while (working for myself). It's going to take a lot of work on my part to build things up though. Part of me thinks that maybe if I packed the job in now, it would really panic motivate me and I'd probably focus more!

I'm going round in circles, and the fear of not having enough money coming in is huge, but one thing I do know is that the thought of being stuck in this rut for much longer is even more scary.

Maybe I should start a 'job escapees' thread!

I’d certainly join your job escapees thread @backintothefire

Sounds like the main problem is that your job has elements you find draining and demanding, especially the ‘pastoral’ responsibilities.

Your options will depend on how much salary (and pension) you’re willing to forego. You’ve a long time before retirement and want to support DC financially so low earnings options seem to be ruled out.

Most people can’t generate a decent income starting a new business or consulting, for example, and it’s hard to build things up on top of 0.8fte or full time work.

It sounds like you work in FE or HE. If the latter there’re threads on MN about academia challenges.

Or you could investigate what different jobs on OK salaries you might have a chance of getting.

There might be quite a lot you can do to adjust your current situation. Boundaries, a different sideways move to something with less of the bits you dislike. For example you’re not paid or building pension for 5 days, so could stop doing lots of unpaid 5th days: or go full time and get paid. (I did the latter).

Having multiple degrees doesn’t make you ‘overqualified’: all our skills/experience mean we can compete for some jobs and not others.

Leaving your job without a clear next step must have been terrifying, but I guess sometimes you just have to leap, as you say. I wish you loads of luck with it all!

It just got to the point where it was really affecting my health. But it was also a gilded cage and I was just too (financially) comfortable. I kept thinking of that saying, "jump and the net will appear".

I hate my job too! Used to love it, but it has changed since Covid. I work in financial services & was always face to face which I enjoyed. Now it's a mixture of this & telephony. The hours are ridiculous. Can be any time between 8am & 8pm, which wouldn't be an issue if I wasn't a single parent. The Saturdays that I work have been lengthened which has annoyed me as these are the ones when I don't have the kids so now can't even go away! The pressure to hit targets is ridiculous & they have started naming & shaming. Always short staffed as everyone is drafted onto telephony. Fed up with getting my lunch at 3pm! Looked at other jobs, but would have to take a salary cut which wouldn't work with just me paying the mortgage etc
Sorry for moaning everyone. I'll keep doing the lottery.

It’s not unreasonable if you feel that way. But change it, look around for different jobs, consider a career change / further training etc

@stringbean

I can relate to all this, but am mid-50s rather than 40s. I've just changed jobs and taken a step down - fortunately the salary is pretty much the same as the role I've moved to is very much in demand, but it's still a full-time role. I don't think either COVID or menopause has helped - started HRT 6 months ago- but it's just the feeling that I'm on a hamster wheel to pay bills and a mortgage and fund dc through uni. I thought I'd be able to relax and be enjoying life more at 55: never occurred to me 30 years ago that I'd be working this hard at this stage of life and finding it all so unfulfilling, but not having the energy or motivation to do anything about it. Suspect it's an element of burnout as well after the past 2 years- work reached crazy levels hence the change of job: trying to exercise regularly and eat healthily but can't be arsed to cook most of the time - just want to sit on sofa and watch reruns of Friends and drink G&Ts. The me of 30 years ago wouldn't recognise me now.

@stringbean your post suddenly reminded me of the me 30 years ago, who wondered (with dismissive irritation) why most 40-60year old women looked so cross, hassled and irritable. The exact same shit has probably been happening to women in our age bracket for centuries; thought we'd be in a better place by now, worn out by the pettiness and constant demands, too exhausted to escape our lot and the realisation that this is it. Yay.

@stuntbubbles

Had this very conversation with my best friend today. We’re sold a lie about work and careers; if I could have my time again I’d slog my guts out for something mega high earning asap and stuff it all in a pension pot and aim to retire early; will be advising my kids to do the same.

I don’t know what the answer is. I do 3 days a week - one with my daughter, one purely for my own creative satisfaction, pottering, gardening, life. But like you I end up working 5 days but crammed into a smaller space of time and for less money 🤔 It’s just about worth it for that solo freedom day.

I’m holding out for a lottery win, and considering a move to civil service for the decent pension and just focusing on building up enough to climb off the rat race ladder wheel asap.

Had this very conversation with my best friend today. We’re sold a lie about work and careers; if I could have my time again I’d slog my guts out for something mega high earning asap and stuff it all in a pension pot and aim to retire early; will be advising my kids to do the same.

To succeed in a mega high earning career at a youngish age, you have to be smart, ambitious, driven, have stamina and be lucky to a certain extent because the competition to get there is tough. Most high earning people who retire early are more likely to burn out rather than actively chose to retire early.

It does not make sense that one day you are striving to climb the corporate ladder and say in your 40s, when you have kids in school, that you suddenly retire. Sounds counterintuitive. Most successful people will have mortgages and school fees to pay.